New coworker is struggling to fit in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all sound like you lack empathy and are a bit mean. Moving and changing jobs are two of the biggest stresses in life. Cut her some slack and stop being so mean. Give her time and space to adjust and she will change. If everyone at your workplace is like you, it's probably toxic anyway and eventually she will leave.

This, sadly.

+2

OP, you sound like a jerk. Why not offer to help her learn? Management is not doing their part by clarifying expectations and mentoring.

Sounds like she’d be better off leaving than trying to ingratiate herself to your work clique.

Ahh look two people who found time to blame OP, how on brand for DCUM. You didn’t read the post because OP said management has had several sit downs. Learn to read?

Sounds like OP is a millennial who hates older, accomplished women.

[Anonymous]

There isn’t anything to handle. You aren’t her boss and as long as she’s not outright being rude just let it go.

[Anonymous]

Fire her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all sound like you lack empathy and are a bit mean. Moving and changing jobs are two of the biggest stresses in life. Cut her some slack and stop being so mean. Give her time and space to adjust and she will change. If everyone at your workplace is like you, it's probably toxic anyway and eventually she will leave.

This, sadly.

+2

OP, you sound like a jerk. Why not offer to help her learn? Management is not doing their part by clarifying expectations and mentoring.

Sounds like she’d be better off leaving than trying to ingratiate herself to your work clique.

Ahh look two people who found time to blame OP, how on brand for DCUM. You didn’t read the post because OP said management has had several sit downs. Learn to read?

Sounds like OP is a millennial who hates older, accomplished women.

Or OP is correct and the older, accomplished woman is a nightmare who doesn’t know her place on the totem pole.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like the OP from the "I think I offended my boss" thread.

Just re-telling it at different angle.

[Anonymous]

Free her

Free yourself


Set yourself free to a brand new job

[Anonymous]

I would just let your manager do his or her job and limit conversations with this colleague.

[Anonymous]

OP this lady is probably a nightmare because she thinks she’s above everyone. That’s pretty typical for people who ‘downshift’ their careers. She’s not used to not being the boss and can’t handle not knowing (or thinking she does) everything. Hopefully she learns her place or finds it isn’t a fit and moves on….

[Anonymous]

Stay polite and help her fit in.

Your boss shouldn’t be confiding those ‘conversations’ with you all. Which makes me think it’s not just her that is the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all sound like you lack empathy and are a bit mean. Moving and changing jobs are two of the biggest stresses in life. Cut her some slack and stop being so mean. Give her time and space to adjust and she will change. If everyone at your workplace is like you, it's probably toxic anyway and eventually she will leave.

-1

She refuses to change. That’s “mean” to the people she works with. OP, just sit tight.

All of this is true, depending on which perspective you coming at this from. A situation can be a great fit for one person and totally toxic for another. One set of skills equal success in some roles while they equal subordination and disrespect in another.

Things will work out as they should, but ultimately the only thing OP has the power to change is herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long has it been? Give her time…in 6 months to a year, she will probably calm down & fit in better. Her issues are borne out of insecurity & trying to prove she has value…if you have a healthy dynamic on the team, once she isn’t so worried about proving herself, she will probably become a much better teammate.
And as a new team member, she does deserve interactions that are “friendly & cordial.” She is learning…even if you don’t personally care for her, your boss chose her for this role, & your boss probably expects you to provide a minimum amount of help and support as a senior team member.
Now, if it’s been 5 years, that is a different story…

+1

OP already has made up her mind and her “question” is really just seeking agreement. OP chill out, you’re not the newbie and you’re not the boss. This will work itself out on its own.

And maybe open your mind to not disliking her so much. Until newbie calms down and assimilates, try to limit your interactions with her. You will be happier if you decide to keep an open mind and not dislike her. OR, what if you tried to like her or at least understand her? That might give you the perspective change you need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all sound like you lack empathy and are a bit mean. Moving and changing jobs are two of the biggest stresses in life. Cut her some slack and stop being so mean. Give her time and space to adjust and she will change. If everyone at your workplace is like you, it's probably toxic anyway and eventually she will leave.

This, sadly.

+2

OP, you sound like a jerk. Why not offer to help her learn? Management is not doing their part by clarifying expectations and mentoring.

Sounds like she’d be better off leaving than trying to ingratiate herself to your work clique.

Ahh look two people who found time to blame OP, how on brand for DCUM. You didn’t read the post because OP said management has had several sit downs. Learn to read?

NP. Actually, PP, YOUR post calling out the prior posts is the MOST on-brand DCUM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all sound like you lack empathy and are a bit mean. Moving and changing jobs are two of the biggest stresses in life. Cut her some slack and stop being so mean. Give her time and space to adjust and she will change. If everyone at your workplace is like you, it's probably toxic anyway and eventually she will leave.

This, sadly.

+2

OP, you sound like a jerk. Why not offer to help her learn? Management is not doing their part by clarifying expectations and mentoring.

Sounds like she’d be better off leaving than trying to ingratiate herself to your work clique.

Ahh look two people who found time to blame OP, how on brand for DCUM. You didn’t read the post because OP said management has had several sit downs. Learn to read?

Sounds like OP is a millennial who hates older, accomplished women.

Or OP is correct and the older, accomplished woman is a nightmare who doesn’t know her place on the totem pole.

LOL cringey cultural appropriation

[Anonymous]

What the heck is a trade organization? An association? What size was it? I find it hard to believe the head of any large association would take an individual contributor role below several people in a company.

[Anonymous]

We have an employee like this, she’s been with us for a year and is always looking at her last position rather than learning and growing with us and it’s exasperating. She was fired from her last firm for something really stupid so she can’t go back yet she can’t let go of it either.