If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?

[Anonymous]

Being a parent is the best thing that has ever happened to me. My kid is a huge source of joy. Yes. I would definitely be a parent even if no one else around me was parenting.

Almost my entire social circle stopped at 1 though. A few friends with 2, but no one with 3+. Parenting take a lot of energy.

[Anonymous]

Probably not, but I'm so glad I have the one I do. I was extremely reluctant to have any. If I could do it over again I'd have more.

[Anonymous]

I never felt pressured to have kids. It never occurred to me that other people cared whether or not I had them. I just wanted them.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I've known I wanted my own children since I was a child

[Anonymous]

Yes. I wanted to have kids before anyone in my circle (also got married earlier), and it was 100% something I wanted to do, for me. Yes, selfish, but also self-aware

[Anonymous]

Of course

It’s a biological urge and social norms wouldn’t affect that.

[Anonymous]

No, definitely not. I never felt a biological urge to have kids and only did once my last child free friends started having them in our late 30s, often under not exactly ideal circumstances. Figured it was our last shot and why not give it a try.

[Anonymous]

Yes, absolutely. Single parent by choice; I've always wanted kids and did so even though no one in my "circle" was having kids and I definitely wasn't getting social pressure to have them.

[Anonymous]

I honestly don't know. I think maybe not? I wasn't someone who desperately wanted kids or felt a "biological" urge - I just kind of assumed I would have them because it's the normal thing to do.

I'm very glad I did, it has brought me so much joy, but if it was the norm not to, I'm not sure I would have.

[Anonymous]

Definitely. I’ve always wanted kids, since I was a kid myself.
It’s a little hard to imagine it not being the norm, though, since all species are biologically programmed to want to reproduce (doesn’t mean every individual human wants to, but the species as a whole).

[Anonymous]

I still would, my son is the best thing I've ever done and brings so much joy. I'd say slightly more than half of my friends are childfree as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If most people in society (>50%) chose to never have kids, would you? This is assuming your “circle” has these stats too.

I love my kids but I probably wouldn’t…

I don’t think op was referring to you being pressured by a specific group, but by society at large. A monkey see monkey do kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

Not a chance.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Fascinating! I’m surprised there aren’t more no’s. Life just seems like it would be way easier without kids, that if people generally didn’t have them then I thought people wouldn’t care for them as much!

I also have a baby + toddler right now so maybe I’ll change my mind later

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Fascinating! I’m surprised there aren’t more no’s. Life just seems like it would be way easier without kids, that if people generally didn’t have them then I thought people wouldn’t care for them as much!

I also have a baby + toddler right now so maybe I’ll change my mind later

I'm one of the yesses, I have three under 8. Life WOULD be much easier without them, no doubt about that. But I think really it just comes down to the fact that an easy life isn't necessarily a desirable life. People like feeling like they have purpose, a reason for being, and children are a particularly excellent way to feed that primal need. They are difficult to raise, but it is only when things are difficult that you feel like you accomplished something.