If you don’t use social media..

[Anonymous]

I lurk. I don't post. I ended up being 'friends' with hundreds of people and I started to realize that I didn't need them to know anything about me. I didn't need their likes and comments and questions.

I fortunately am still in frequent contact with friends from HS and college, and I'm very close with some cousins. I send them pics and shoot the s hit with at least some of them most every day.

I'm glad I don't feel the need to be sharing on social media. It was exciting for me for like a year, if that.

[Anonymous]

I have social media. I do have one friend who is off of it and I feel like she is cut off from a lot. She doesn't know what's happening in the schools (I'm guessing she's also not on dcum!) and she has zero contact with her old friends. Maybe she's happier that way, but I'm surprised sometimes about what she doesn't know about our community.

[Anonymous]

I joined FB in 2007 when it was blowing up but before it was a place you posted daily. Spent a bit of time connecting with people and finding out where they were ten years after high school. Am still logged in, and maybe once every six months I check something specific (like, a baby name for an Xmas card). But I don’t use it otherwise. I am semi active on LinkedIn because its relevant to my job. Otherwise, not on social media and never have been.

I’ve been married for 20 years, have a full and active social life, and a busy job. I don’t know if any of my friends who are “active” on social media either, other than for professional reasons. I am assume (maybe I’m wrong) that the only people on social media are people under 30, people over 60, and women without jobs between 30-60. But I didn’t think anyone with a job or a penis between ages 30-60 used social media in any significant way.

[Anonymous]

If you’re on DCUM, you’re on social media. It’s anonymous, without the image sharing, and with a different purpose than sharing life updates/making friends, but you’re still interacting with people online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have social media. I do have one friend who is off of it and I feel like she is cut off from a lot. She doesn't know what's happening in the schools (I'm guessing she's also not on dcum!) and she has zero contact with her old friends. Maybe she's happier that way, but I'm surprised sometimes about what she doesn't know about our community.

But what do you need to know about your schools that’s only on social media, and that the school didn’t tell you directly or that you didn’t hear from your actual live friends? That like the sophomore girls gymnastics team won regionals? Our school communicates everything important by email, phone and text (simultaneous). Teachers periodically communicate important classroom specific things. I can’t imagine anything else I need or want to know.

[Anonymous]

I quit two years ago and will probably never go back. I tried to maintain an account just for groups and marketplace, like another poster, but even that was sucking me in. I was addicted and it felt so difficult to pull the plug, but I felt better almost immediately. I was honestly depressed while I was on social media, and I didn’t even know it!

Going off forced me to be more proactive with my friendships, and it naturally helped me realize which friendships were the real deal. I think there are a few things that would be nice to be able to access — like our school’s parent and neighborhood groups — but the trade off is worth it for my mental health and genuine happiness.

[Anonymous]

I have an account on LinkedIn, but I never post and almost never read either. It’s basically just an online resume and professional Rolodex for me. Never joined Facebook or twitter or anything else.

[Anonymous]

Get a group chat going with some friends. That’s what people are doing now that FB is dead (and IG too).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re on DCUM, you’re on social media. It’s anonymous, without the image sharing, and with a different purpose than sharing life updates/making friends, but you’re still interacting with people online.

If you read NYTimes and comment on the articles, you interact with people online. That's not where the harm of social media is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a group chat going with some friends. That’s what people are doing now that FB is dead (and IG too).

Isn’t IG still pretty popular? I don’t have one but everyone acts like IG is the only acceptable form of social media. And I don’t get it. What’s so different about IG that would make it superior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an account on LinkedIn, but I never post and almost never read either. It’s basically just an online resume and professional Rolodex for me. Never joined Facebook or twitter or anything else.

I was forced to join LinkedIn years ago for a job. I never check it and when I do, it’s basically the professional version of Facebook with people posting stupid memes or bragging about their new job. Like who gives a shit.

[Anonymous]

Since I never used it, I don’t feel cut off.

People who want to communicate with me reach out with emails or texts. And vice versa.

FB is passive. Not meant for you in particular, so you are reading about their lives but not necessarily staying in touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never had FB. I am sure I miss some pictures. My sister will update me on that girl who lived down the street growing up that was 2 years ahead of us in school...that I don't even remember

I guess I don't know what else I am missing.

Same. Don't know what I'm missing and I don't care. I remember people's birthdays via a calendar! Nobody remembers mine because FB can't remind them. Don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re on DCUM, you’re on social media. It’s anonymous, without the image sharing, and with a different purpose than sharing life updates/making friends, but you’re still interacting with people online.

If you read NYTimes and comment on the articles, you interact with people online. That's not where the harm of social media is.

There’s plenty of toxicity here to cause harm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same OP. I think quitting FB was the best choice for my mental health but I definitely feel disconnected from people. In particular, it means I’ve totally lost touch with people from my past— high school friends, old colleagues, etc.

But I don’t even maintain a FB account for marketplace or groups. I know if I did, I would wind up using it to look people up and get sucked in somehow. That’s why I quit— it was a time suck and made me too focused on what other people were up to, instead of just minding my own business.

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