How often do you see adult children?

[Anonymous]

I'm the adult child, my own kids are still young, so I'll answer on behalf of my parents & ILs .

One lives 1-1.5 hours from us, and we see her for a longer day trip or overnight 1-3 times a month. It's just far enough away that getting together for coffee doesn't really work. We talk a few times a week.

Other two parents live on the opposite coast. We see them 2-3 times a year, almost always when they come visit us. They are retired, have a gazillion airline miles from a travel-heavy career, and it's just much easier for them to come here than for us to lug the whole family across the country. We haven't been out there in a few years.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely treat my adult children like friends. I raised them to be people I'd want to be friends with. I see them about two or three times a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the OP, does your mom want to see you more often, or is the 1x/year frequency her own choosing?

I have 3 adult kids who live nearby, and 1 adult kid who lives in the midwest. For the nearest kids, I see them each 3-4 times a month for dinners and/or activities together. We usually try to see them separately, though we all get together en masse at holidays.

For the kid who lives in the midwest, he travels here to visit out probably 6x/year, and we travel out to see him 2x/year. His visits include birthdays & Christmas.

She rarely comes to my neck of the woods - maybe once every 5 years. I travel to see her once a year.
She sees my sister and kids probably 2/3 times a year though - sister has younger kids and Mom can hike there. She can't where I live.
I suspect she doesn't want to see my kids for various reasons - and their lifestyle choices - another story.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 adult daughters. The 25 year old still loves at home. My 27 year old lives in the apartment above us, and we see her every day. Either she comes downstairs or we will go upstairs.

[Anonymous]

Zero. And my mother sees my kids (her genetic grandchildren) zero times a year as well. We are estranged due to her homophobia.

[Anonymous]

Don't be too needy, let them come when they want to not because you bullied or manipulated them.

[Anonymous]

You are the same person that posted about your mother thinking what you spend on Christmas gifts for your adult kids is ludicrous.

You need new material.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are the same person that posted about your mother thinking what you spend on Christmas gifts for your adult kids is ludicrous.

You need new material.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1098575.page

A travesty

[Anonymous]

We have tried to make it, roughly equal, traveling to them. Sometimes we/they are staying hotel or w/friends. Every 6 weeks or so we are seeing one of our children. Sometimes spouse and I go separately, whatever works. There are nonstop flights to each of their cities. We are in DMV, they are in midwest and NE

[Anonymous]

25 year old he comes homes for dinner every night

[Anonymous]

My college kid will swing by at least once a week because he is 30 minutes away. We have lots of relatives in DMV, so there is always some family celebration or low effort get together.He will make an appearance and won’t miss out on family fun. Also family get together will inevitably have infant nieces and nephews and family dogs, so no one wants to miss that.

My oldest lives an hour away and travels a lot. He too tries to come along with the youngest. If they miss each other, my oldest will catch lunch with youngest at his college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:25 year old he comes homes for dinner every night

❤️❤️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what you describe is normal for a healthy happy mature family. My parents live in Chicago and I see them 2x per year. DH's parents live in France and he sees them 1-2x per year. The visits are longer than we would spend if we were closer distance, but it works for us. Total time is probably the same. My brother 5 min from my parents and sees them about once every week or two, but that's really about the grandkids (games, plays, events, etc).

Same. What me set in the Midwest and other in Europe. Siblings all around as well.

[Anonymous]

I have dinner with my son once a week plus occasionally go to games or concerts. My daughter doesn’t speak to me because I’m divorced. I send her cards/presents for birthday and Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have dinner with my son once a week plus occasionally go to games or concerts. My daughter doesn’t speak to me because I’m divorced. I send her cards/presents for birthday and Christmas.

she disapproves of divorce?