How often do you see adult children?

[Anonymous]

I have one daughter in town. We invite each other over for supper maybe once a month and occasionally do things together - last night we did a painting and wine thing at a bar. HAd fun. Deep talks.

My other three live 120 miles away and we travel to see them maybe twice a year but they travel to us (and stay) for major holidays, random times when they want to come home, etc. I'm guessing we see them about 8 times a year.

I think this is perfectly reasonable. We're close but we all have friends our own age we hang with.
My own mother thinks its ludicrous. That I'm treating them like friends.
And she doesn't live close to any of us. I see her maybe once a year.

Not sure what is going on with her but oh well. How often do you see your adult kids?

[Anonymous]

I’m the adult child but I live about a 5-hour drive from my parents and think an estimate of 8 times a year also sounds right for us. They may visit us 2-3 times and we go to them for the rest. (Usually for holidays, milestone birthdays, weddings, baptisms; sometimes just because.)

This cadence seems a bit more frequent than for my peers but distance is a big factor.

My brother lives 20 minutes from my parents and he probably sees them 2-3 times a month.

[Anonymous]

I think what you describe is normal for a healthy happy mature family. My parents live in Chicago and I see them 2x per year. DH's parents live in France and he sees them 1-2x per year. The visits are longer than we would spend if we were closer distance, but it works for us. Total time is probably the same. My brother 5 min from my parents and sees them about once every week or two, but that's really about the grandkids (games, plays, events, etc).

[Anonymous]

My parents are across the country. We aim for once a year. Sometimes it’s every other year.

My spouse’s parents are 2 hours away. MIL would like to see us every 2-3 weeks. We try to do it 7-8 times a year. (Birthdays, holidays, a couple times for kids activities.)

[Anonymous]

One child is 25 and lives in the area. We get together once a week or every other week.

One child,23, is in grad school about 3-4 hours away. We see them on their breaks. We FaceTime at least once week.

[Anonymous]

I see my parents who live 20 minutes away twice a month or more, probably. We see my in laws (a flight away) about once a year and both seem normal.

[Anonymous]

When my parents lived 5 hours away we saw them for holidays + maybe a summer visit. They were on the way to my inlaws so we often did a quick overnight to break up that trip.

Now they have moved local. We see them most weeks (Sunday dinner) but not always. My kids are adults now so we have time for them.

[Anonymous]

2 young adult sons, 29 and 31. One lives an 8 hour drive away. I see him about 4x a year. The other lives locally and is married. I see him about 1X a month. Talk and text much more often.

[Anonymous]

1x a year is sad to me.
You know they won’t always be around, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have one daughter in town. We invite each other over for supper maybe once a month and occasionally do things together - last night we did a painting and wine thing at a bar. HAd fun. Deep talks.

My other three live 120 miles away and we travel to see them maybe twice a year but they travel to us (and stay) for major holidays, random times when they want to come home, etc. I'm guessing we see them about 8 times a year.

I think this is perfectly reasonable. We're close but we all have friends our own age we hang with.
My own mother thinks its ludicrous. That I'm treating them like friends.
And she doesn't live close to any of us. I see her maybe once a year.

Not sure what is going on with her but oh well. How often do you see your adult kids?

+1

[Anonymous]

I see my mom twice a year. My kids see me 2-6 times a year.

[Anonymous]

To the OP, does your mom want to see you more often, or is the 1x/year frequency her own choosing?

I have 3 adult kids who live nearby, and 1 adult kid who lives in the midwest. For the nearest kids, I see them each 3-4 times a month for dinners and/or activities together. We usually try to see them separately, though we all get together en masse at holidays.

For the kid who lives in the midwest, he travels here to visit out probably 6x/year, and we travel out to see him 2x/year. His visits include birthdays & Christmas.

[Anonymous]

I see my 29 year old 3-4x year but for extended periods since DC lives outside the US. I see my 26 year old, who lives 8 hours away, at least once a month - but some of that is because DC lives near our summer house.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and this is PP with the 4 adult kids - I see my widowed mom just about every day! She lives less than a mile away.

[Anonymous]

My 25-year-old DD lives about six miles away and I see her once a week or so. I’m really glad she’s so nearby.