Sleepover etiquette

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you're probably fine. A lot of parents are a lot more comfortable hosting than sending their child to the home of someone they don't know well. I'd just say something in passing next time you pick her up . . . "Oh, we wish we could host sleepovers but we don't have the space for it. Thank you so much for giving her the experience!"

+1

This is what I would do.

Reciprocation doesn't need to look exactly the same. Generally, be generous and inclusive and you'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

It's fine. I wouldn't even give the space excuse. But you can reciprocate in other ways like hosting a pizza/movie night or taking the kids on a fun outing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I host most of the sleepovers in my kids' friend group. The kids usually want to stay at our house and I have a high tolerance for chaos. I think it's fine if you want to express your appreciation but don't say that you can't host due to space and the sibling. This would come off as disingenuous to me give that kids can have fun sleepovers in small living rooms and other common areas and most families with multiple kids have to deal with the disruption of a sibling's sleep when friends stay over, whether or not they share a room.

Many people have kids in the same room and yes, sleepovers cause chaos. Your reason doesn't really make sense as one to convey. That said, I don't think you have to host them esp if kids are comming over for other reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I host most of the sleepovers in my kids' friend group. The kids usually want to stay at our house and I have a high tolerance for chaos. I think it's fine if you want to express your appreciation but don't say that you can't host due to space and the sibling. This would come off as disingenuous to me give that kids can have fun sleepovers in small living rooms and other common areas and most families with multiple kids have to deal with the disruption of a sibling's sleep when friends stay over, whether or not they share a room.

Many people have kids in the same room and yes, sleepovers cause chaos. Your reason doesn't really make sense as one to convey. That said, I don't think you have to host them esp if kids are comming over for other reasons.

PP here to expand: basically, it would be like saying "oh, I can't do what you do because I have the same conditions as you do!" I have 4 kids and when people tell me how they have hard lives b/c they have 2 or 3 kids, and it's so much to balance, I kind of roll my eyes while internally acknowledging that kids can be hard and it's not a contest.

[Anonymous]

Are sleepovers a good idea if your kid has a morning hockey or basketball game usually?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are sleepovers a good idea if your kid has a morning hockey or basketball game usually?

Some are more wild than others. My kids have had some where they've all gone to sleep by 10 and others where they're up past midnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are sleepovers a good idea if your kid has a morning hockey or basketball game usually?

It depends on your kid and how important it is to be uber competitive. DS plays rec sports and his team isn't the worlds most competitive. I would probably be fine with his having a sleep over. If he was on a travel team and the team was competitive or took competition very seriously, I would not let him have or attend a sleep over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are sleepovers a good idea if your kid has a morning hockey or basketball game usually?

I don't allow under those circumstances, but ymmv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are sleepovers a good idea if your kid has a morning hockey or basketball game usually?

I don't allow under those circumstances, but ymmv.

Agree — some people love them, but I don’t think all friend groups do them. No need to host. Just be kind, appreciative if you wish to send your kids to someone else’s house, and generous with what you are able to do.

[Anonymous]

I hate sleepovers and have barely reciprocated. DD has gone to a zillion of them. In the summer I reciprocate by taking the girls to the pool and paying for ice cream truck probably every weekend. Not sure if it all works out, but I am not gonna start hosting sleepovers every weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever have suggestions for handling sleepovers with kids who still have accidents at night?

DS wore a pull up to his first few sleep overs, as did a few of the other kids. He had friends over a few weeks back who used pull ups, they are 10. Some kids are late to being able to sleep dry. It is not a big deal. The kids changed quietly in the bathroom and threw away the used pull ups. No one said anything. But part of that is the kids being ok staying at a kids home wearing pull ups.

Did the boys all know about the pull-ups? It seems like kids these days are a lot more accepting of that. My son has a friend who wears them and he isn’t at all shy about it.

Yes, they threw them away in the bathroom. No one cared. I remember my child's first sleep over, he was 8, I was worried about the pull up situation. He was in no way dry every night, maybe half the time. I talked with the Mom to see how she felt about it and the Mom told me that 1) her kid was not always dry through the night and 2) several of the other parents has asked. It turned out that all of the kids still had nights were they had accidents.

DS is dry through the night now and we don't ask the parents and the parents don't tell us, we simply see the disposable underwear in the bathroom. No one cares. The kids change in private (bathroom or a closed bedroom) so no one sees them putting it on and they wear something over it. They take them off in private. It is not a big deal. DS is 10 now and has some friends who are 11.

My older kid had her first sleepover as part of an auction party at the school in 2nd grade with about 15 other 2nd grade girls. She still wet the bed every single night... She wore pull ups/GoodNights and could stay dry with them. I proactively told the host teacher (a PK teacher who happened to have my younger daughter as a student) and she graciously offered to let my kid privately use the bathroom to put on her pull up. She had a blast! The pandemic arrived while she was transitioning from wetting the bed... So no sleepovers. However, at age 9, she finally stopped needing pull ups and now (as a 6th grader) is fine with sleepovers.

My younger kid also wet the bed until age 8.5. She found it helpful to use Depends pads in her sleeping bag at friends' houses. She thought it was more discreet than a bulky pull-up (Goodnights diaper). I did tell the host mom and she agreed to keep it confidential. My younger kid (just turned 9) thankfully also now stays dry at night!

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

No sitting on crotches!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever have suggestions for handling sleepovers with kids who still have accidents at night?

DS wore a pull up to his first few sleep overs, as did a few of the other kids. He had friends over a few weeks back who used pull ups, they are 10. Some kids are late to being able to sleep dry. It is not a big deal. The kids changed quietly in the bathroom and threw away the used pull ups. No one said anything. But part of that is the kids being ok staying at a kids home wearing pull ups.

Did the boys all know about the pull-ups? It seems like kids these days are a lot more accepting of that. My son has a friend who wears them and he isn’t at all shy about it.

Yes, they threw them away in the bathroom. No one cared. I remember my child's first sleep over, he was 8, I was worried about the pull up situation. He was in no way dry every night, maybe half the time. I talked with the Mom to see how she felt about it and the Mom told me that 1) her kid was not always dry through the night and 2) several of the other parents has asked. It turned out that all of the kids still had nights were they had accidents.

DS is dry through the night now and we don't ask the parents and the parents don't tell us, we simply see the disposable underwear in the bathroom. No one cares. The kids change in private (bathroom or a closed bedroom) so no one sees them putting it on and they wear something over it. They take them off in private. It is not a big deal. DS is 10 now and has some friends who are 11.

I’m sure the pull-ups have to be somewhat noticeable even underneath pajamas. Did your son care if anyone ever called it a diaper?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever have suggestions for handling sleepovers with kids who still have accidents at night?

DS wore a pull up to his first few sleep overs, as did a few of the other kids. He had friends over a few weeks back who used pull ups, they are 10. Some kids are late to being able to sleep dry. It is not a big deal. The kids changed quietly in the bathroom and threw away the used pull ups. No one said anything. But part of that is the kids being ok staying at a kids home wearing pull ups.

Did the boys all know about the pull-ups? It seems like kids these days are a lot more accepting of that. My son has a friend who wears them and he isn’t at all shy about it.

Yes, they threw them away in the bathroom. No one cared. I remember my child's first sleep over, he was 8, I was worried about the pull up situation. He was in no way dry every night, maybe half the time. I talked with the Mom to see how she felt about it and the Mom told me that 1) her kid was not always dry through the night and 2) several of the other parents has asked. It turned out that all of the kids still had nights were they had accidents.

DS is dry through the night now and we don't ask the parents and the parents don't tell us, we simply see the disposable underwear in the bathroom. No one cares. The kids change in private (bathroom or a closed bedroom) so no one sees them putting it on and they wear something over it. They take them off in private. It is not a big deal. DS is 10 now and has some friends who are 11.

I’m sure the pull-ups have to be somewhat noticeable even underneath pajamas. Did your son care if anyone ever called it a diaper?

NP its the adults that notice these things. Maybe some girls too but boys in general are more interested in play and do not notice or care much about clothing choices. As long they have some shirt and pants/shorts they are good to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever have suggestions for handling sleepovers with kids who still have accidents at night?

DS wore a pull up to his first few sleep overs, as did a few of the other kids. He had friends over a few weeks back who used pull ups, they are 10. Some kids are late to being able to sleep dry. It is not a big deal. The kids changed quietly in the bathroom and threw away the used pull ups. No one said anything. But part of that is the kids being ok staying at a kids home wearing pull ups.

Did the boys all know about the pull-ups? It seems like kids these days are a lot more accepting of that. My son has a friend who wears them and he isn’t at all shy about it.

Yes, they threw them away in the bathroom. No one cared. I remember my child's first sleep over, he was 8, I was worried about the pull up situation. He was in no way dry every night, maybe half the time. I talked with the Mom to see how she felt about it and the Mom told me that 1) her kid was not always dry through the night and 2) several of the other parents has asked. It turned out that all of the kids still had nights were they had accidents.

DS is dry through the night now and we don't ask the parents and the parents don't tell us, we simply see the disposable underwear in the bathroom. No one cares. The kids change in private (bathroom or a closed bedroom) so no one sees them putting it on and they wear something over it. They take them off in private. It is not a big deal. DS is 10 now and has some friends who are 11.

I’m sure the pull-ups have to be somewhat noticeable even underneath pajamas. Did your son care if anyone ever called it a diaper?

DS did not tell me that anyone called it a diaper. I doubt anyone said anything since 4 of the 5 kids at his first sleepover were wearing pull-ups. He did not say anything to his friends at their most recent sleep over. Perhaps he has friends who don't care or don't see the need to make fun of a friend for needing sleeping underwear?