When do you let kids take over certain responsibilities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM always responds in that silly way (see above). Yet it makes no difference at all when they're older, because chores are by definition not hard to learn or implement. I never lifted a finger in the house as a child, yet was perfectly able to cook, clean and organize my home when I move out. My kids started helping out in middle school, but only sporadically, and they will be perfectly responsible young adults when they leave my house. Because they're not stupid.

This isn't rocket science. You don't need to force yourself to teach them when they're young if it complicates your life. If you enjoy it, sure, go ahead, but please remind yourself that you're not a better parent or more enlightened human just because you started your kids young on chores. That would be patting yourself on the back for no reason at all.

+1. My mother made my lunch until the day I graduated high school. It had zero negative effect on my ability to “launch” at 18.

Did you really figure it out in your own or did your roommates teach you? I had several roommates boast about their parents doing everything for them. And the Rest of the housemates has to teach them about picking up after themselves how to do laundry, run a dishwasher

[Anonymous]

Personal preference. Yes, kids should know how to do laundry, cook, pack a lunch, etc. But that doesn’t mean they must do it everyday.
Also, what kind of stuff are they packing from a bin that constitutes a complete, healthy meal? They would still need to make themselves sandwiches, or heat up leftovers for thermoses, cut up fruit, etc, which might be a lot for a 6 yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM always responds in that silly way (see above). Yet it makes no difference at all when they're older, because chores are by definition not hard to learn or implement. I never lifted a finger in the house as a child, yet was perfectly able to cook, clean and organize my home when I move out. My kids started helping out in middle school, but only sporadically, and they will be perfectly responsible young adults when they leave my house. Because they're not stupid.

This isn't rocket science. You don't need to force yourself to teach them when they're young if it complicates your life. If you enjoy it, sure, go ahead, but please remind yourself that you're not a better parent or more enlightened human just because you started your kids young on chores. That would be patting yourself on the back for no reason at all.

+1. My mother made my lunch until the day I graduated high school. It had zero negative effect on my ability to “launch” at 18.

Did you really figure it out in your own or did your roommates teach you? I had several roommates boast about their parents doing everything for them. And the Rest of the housemates has to teach them about picking up after themselves how to do laundry, run a dishwasher

NP but like PP, my parents made my lunch every day through high school. I truly figured things out for myself once I was in college (at age 18). Doing laundry, running dishwasher, it’s not like those things are difficult to learn. Any idiot can figure that out. Cooking takes more time to learn and get good at it but anyone who can read can follow a basic recipe. It’s not like any of the cleaning/housekeeping tasks have a steep learning curve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personal preference. Yes, kids should know how to do laundry, cook, pack a lunch, etc. But that doesn’t mean they must do it everyday.
Also, what kind of stuff are they packing from a bin that constitutes a complete, healthy meal? They would still need to make themselves sandwiches, or heat up leftovers for thermoses, cut up fruit, etc, which might be a lot for a 6 yo.

Yeah what is this “picking items from a bin”? What are they packing: granola bars and applesauce pouches? Doesn’t seem like a very healthy or nutritious meal can be made from prepackaged bin items. I make my kids sandwiches and cut up fruits and vegetables for them. They are 2nd grade and k. Could they do it themselves? Yes, of course. But it would take 2x as long and I prefer our time in the mornings before school be more relaxing and less rushed/stressful for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM always responds in that silly way (see above). Yet it makes no difference at all when they're older, because chores are by definition not hard to learn or implement. I never lifted a finger in the house as a child, yet was perfectly able to cook, clean and organize my home when I move out. My kids started helping out in middle school, but only sporadically, and they will be perfectly responsible young adults when they leave my house. Because they're not stupid.

This isn't rocket science. You don't need to force yourself to teach them when they're young if it complicates your life. If you enjoy it, sure, go ahead, but please remind yourself that you're not a better parent or more enlightened human just because you started your kids young on chores. That would be patting yourself on the back for no reason at all.

+1. My mother made my lunch until the day I graduated high school. It had zero negative effect on my ability to “launch” at 18.

Did you really figure it out in your own or did your roommates teach you? I had several roommates boast about their parents doing everything for them. And the Rest of the housemates has to teach them about picking up after themselves how to do laundry, run a dishwasher

NP. My mother packed lunches every school day I lived at home. I had other chores, like laundry, and started making family dinners multiple days a week by the time I was 13, and taught several of my college roommates to cook. OP’s specific ask us about school lunches — that is not the be all and end all of chores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM always responds in that silly way (see above). Yet it makes no difference at all when they're older, because chores are by definition not hard to learn or implement. I never lifted a finger in the house as a child, yet was perfectly able to cook, clean and organize my home when I move out. My kids started helping out in middle school, but only sporadically, and they will be perfectly responsible young adults when they leave my house. Because they're not stupid.

This isn't rocket science. You don't need to force yourself to teach them when they're young if it complicates your life. If you enjoy it, sure, go ahead, but please remind yourself that you're not a better parent or more enlightened human just because you started your kids young on chores. That would be patting yourself on the back for no reason at all.

+1. My mother made my lunch until the day I graduated high school. It had zero negative effect on my ability to “launch” at 18.

Did you really figure it out in your own or did your roommates teach you? I had several roommates boast about their parents doing everything for them. And the Rest of the housemates has to teach them about picking up after themselves how to do laundry, run a dishwasher

NP. My mother packed lunches every school day I lived at home. I had other chores, like laundry, and started making family dinners multiple days a week by the time I was 13, and taught several of my college roommates to cook. OP’s specific ask us about school lunches — that is not the be all and end all of chores.

No it's not and you were too lazy and self centered to do it until you were 20 something and forced to do it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personal preference. Yes, kids should know how to do laundry, cook, pack a lunch, etc. But that doesn’t mean they must do it everyday.
Also, what kind of stuff are they packing from a bin that constitutes a complete, healthy meal? They would still need to make themselves sandwiches, or heat up leftovers for thermoses, cut up fruit, etc, which might be a lot for a 6 yo.

Yeah what is this “picking items from a bin”? What are they packing: granola bars and applesauce pouches? Doesn’t seem like a very healthy or nutritious meal can be made from prepackaged bin items. I make my kids sandwiches and cut up fruits and vegetables for them. They are 2nd grade and k. Could they do it themselves? Yes, of course. But it would take 2x as long and I prefer our time in the mornings before school be more relaxing and less rushed/stressful for them.

Have you never heard of carrot sticks celery sticks and apple slices that are precut? Cutie oranges? Yogurt cups?
An 8 year old can certainly make a sandwich given the materials and can spoon leftover pasta sauce and noddles into a container. A 6 year old might need more guidance but is capable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM always responds in that silly way (see above). Yet it makes no difference at all when they're older, because chores are by definition not hard to learn or implement. I never lifted a finger in the house as a child, yet was perfectly able to cook, clean and organize my home when I move out. My kids started helping out in middle school, but only sporadically, and they will be perfectly responsible young adults when they leave my house. Because they're not stupid.

This isn't rocket science. You don't need to force yourself to teach them when they're young if it complicates your life. If you enjoy it, sure, go ahead, but please remind yourself that you're not a better parent or more enlightened human just because you started your kids young on chores. That would be patting yourself on the back for no reason at all.

Wow! Somebody has some issues

[Anonymous]

What are your kids used to? Delicious home cooked hot meals? Clean house? Laundered clothes? Clean bed sheets? Lots of socializing at home? DH and I were raised by moms who pampered us and we grew up in well run households without lifting a finger to do chores. We were able to do all of that when we launched. You learn from observing at home. If small kids are responsible for their own meals, they are not observing daily cooking at home or learned the taste of good food. So sad.

[Anonymous]

I love cooking and feeding my family. I won't let my kids take prepackaged junk.

[Anonymous]

My kids responsibilities are to do well at school, do well in their ECs, do cleaning up chores, do their homework...etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love cooking and feeding my family. I won't let my kids take prepackaged junk.

Good for you. Apples and oranges don't exist in your world?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids responsibilities are to do well at school, do well in their ECs, do cleaning up chores, do their homework...etc.

Yes, but what age do they start that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are your kids used to? Delicious home cooked hot meals? Clean house? Laundered clothes? Clean bed sheets? Lots of socializing at home? DH and I were raised by moms who pampered us and we grew up in well run households without lifting a finger to do chores. We were able to do all of that when we launched. You learn from observing at home. If small kids are responsible for their own meals, they are not observing daily cooking at home or learned the taste of good food. So sad.

She didn't raise you to be a critical thinker though and that's sad

[Anonymous]

We had a college aged nanny as a live in during COVID. I bought her a new mattress and lugged it into her room about a month in. She slept on the bare mattress for two weeks before telling me she didn't know how to put sheets on and needed help.