DD(7th gr)begged me not to enter school for fear of kids making fun of me - Multiple Sclerosis and

[Anonymous]

My mother was around a size 26/28 and had bad skin and frizzy hair. I absolutely got bullied, not just teased, about how she looked for years. How I looked just like her, how Halloween was over and I should tell my mom to take off the scary mask, how I shouldn’t sit for class pictures because I looked so much like my mom that my face would break the camera, and on and on. My mother vaguely knew, but not how relentless it was, or how much it made me cringe internally when a relative would say I looked just like her.

So I see your daughters side and as an adult also see yours. My heart goes out to both of you.

[Anonymous]

I read an article awhile ago where they had surveyed a bunch of teens and many of them said they were basically embarrassed of their fat mother. Unfortunately teens and tweens are not know for their empathy so I think this is fairly common. I’m sure that doesn’t make it feel less bad. If I were hearing this from my child my first conclusion would be that they may already be being bullied over their own weight.

[Anonymous]

OP,
I'm bigger than you with some other health issues. Yes, your DD is in at a tricky age. You can be sympathetic to her while still holding firm to going into her school when you need to. Probably it hurts to hear this from her. You deal with by yourself.

[Anonymous]

*you deal with your feelings by yourself

[Anonymous]

Size 14 is thin in some parts of the country. Seriously. But ouch, it does hurt when it's coming from your kid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:overweight. I suffer from Multiple Sclerosis and now on medication to slow thyroid function I am now about a size 14. I am not sure how I should handle this. She’s asked that her father go instead. She’s cried and stated that they would make fun of me and in turn additionally make fun of her.

How should I address this or do I simply let it go?

It does hurt to hear and in the moment I reassured her it was fine and I would not come into the school as I truly was taken aback by her saying this.

Middle school is hard. Don’t take it personally and let her dad go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I doubt there is a thirteen year old on this earth who doesn’t find her mom embarrassing.

14 is a normal size for an American woman.

Sorry about the MS. Hope it’s doing ok

Size 14 is normal? Yikes – they are looking forward to diabetes, knee and ankle arthritis, high blood pressure, side effects of high blood pressure medicine, strokes and heart attacks at a young age. Throughout history and across the planet, size 14 is not normal or healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt there is a thirteen year old on this earth who doesn’t find her mom embarrassing.

14 is a normal size for an American woman.

Sorry about the MS. Hope it’s doing ok

Size 14 is normal? Yikes – they are looking forward to diabetes, knee and ankle arthritis, high blood pressure, side effects of high blood pressure medicine, strokes and heart attacks at a young age. Throughout history and across the planet, size 14 is not normal or healthy.

Not referring to size 14 due to drug-based weight gain or the very small percentage that have a true genetic propensity to severe obesity. But those with the genetic/endocrine condition aren’t size 14 anyway – they are size 28.)

[Anonymous]

Is she concerned about bullying due to your weight? Slap that one down now. 14 is normal, she shouldn't even see it as an issue. Ask her if she's calling you fat?

Or, is it the MS? I have CP. Both of my kids were teased because of it. I sure as hell dodn't stay home. I called out the worst offenders.

I saw a couple of them at the Pharmacy. They were trying to pretend they didn't see me, they were with other kids. I smiled and said "Oh hi A&B!! How ARE you? A, did you get over whatever was going in at school yesterday? Then explained to their friends that they were in my ds's class, I saw them every day at school! Finished with "well, have fun... see you Monday!"

They made a point of staying away from then on out and said nothing else to ds.

Nip this in the bud, OP. Inform your daughter that asking you not to come to your school is not acceptable. If kids are bullying her that needs to be dealt with. If she's worried about you, tell her you are an adult and can handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt there is a thirteen year old on this earth who doesn’t find her mom embarrassing.

14 is a normal size for an American woman.

Sorry about the MS. Hope it’s doing ok

Size 14 is normal? Yikes – they are looking forward to diabetes, knee and ankle arthritis, high blood pressure, side effects of high blood pressure medicine, strokes and heart attacks at a young age. Throughout history and across the planet, size 14 is not normal or healthy.

How about "average" since you find "normal" so triggering?

[Anonymous]

Some of these PP forget how brutal MS is.

My mom had cancer when I was in MS and wore a really terrible obvious wig (she is fine, now, BTW) and I remember being TERRIFIED that some bully would pull off her wig when she came to school and not wanting her to come.

And it wasn't b/c I was bullied, it's b/c I went to MS and saw how the bullies treated anyone who was different or vulnerable.

Fast forward, I grew up to be a completely normal, compassionate person, and my mom and I have close relationship.

It's a stage. She'll grow out of it.

[Anonymous]

that's not cool of your kid.

Ignore it.

I know what living with chronic illness is like and I'm so sorry you have this burden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,
I'm bigger than you with some other health issues. Yes, your DD is in at a tricky age. You can be sympathetic to her while still holding firm to going into her school when you need to. Probably it hurts to hear this from her. You deal with by yourself.

This is the answer.

[Anonymous]

One of my friends who is absolutely beautiful and in shape said her son of a similar age told her to not get out of the car at school because "I don't want people to know I have a mom." Hahahaha.

It's the age more so than anything going on with you OP. Would use as a teaching moment.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thank you all!! Your diverse perspectives help tremendously.