PreK teacher recommending redshirting my son

[Anonymous]

I currently a preschool teacher, taught kindergarten for 20 years before making the move. I tend to err on the side of giving kids with summer birthdays the extra year of preschool.
However, in your son’s case I don’t hear any reasons to hold him. What you describe is a child who is academically, socially and behaviorally ready to move on to kindergarten. Almost every child struggles with the longer (or at least more structured) days until about mid-October, that is not reason enough to wait.
You know your child best, but my experience makes me lean towards sending him on time.

[Anonymous]

I used to teach preschool and one teacher I worked with was very focused on red-shirting. I thought she did the students and parents a huge disservice by bringing up a stressful decision such as this one with no actual valid reason. Your child is completely on target academically and socially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I currently a preschool teacher, taught kindergarten for 20 years before making the move. I tend to err on the side of giving kids with summer birthdays the extra year of preschool.

Why?

- August birthday child who excelled academically

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So he’s already 5 now and turning 6 this May? Send him — a kid turning 7 in kindergarten is ridiculous.

K success is about learning how to learn, and it sounds like he’s got that. His social skills are on point, he’s got solid pre-literacy skills, and he’s able to follow directions and get/stay with the day’s program of activities. He’s ready for a new challenge, and will be bored out of his mind with another year of preschool. Keeping him back when he’s already been kept back (shouldn’t he have started K this past September, at age 5.5?) is not a kindness.

- Parent of May birthday boy, middling height and weight, started K at 5; now varsity athlete, excellent student, great friend

No my son is 4 and will turn 5 this May.
If we hold him back, he would turn 7 his kinder year. Otherwise he will turn 6 the last month of school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So he’s already 5 now and turning 6 this May? Send him — a kid turning 7 in kindergarten is ridiculous.

K success is about learning how to learn, and it sounds like he’s got that. His social skills are on point, he’s got solid pre-literacy skills, and he’s able to follow directions and get/stay with the day’s program of activities. He’s ready for a new challenge, and will be bored out of his mind with another year of preschool. Keeping him back when he’s already been kept back (shouldn’t he have started K this past September, at age 5.5?) is not a kindness.

- Parent of May birthday boy, middling height and weight, started K at 5; now varsity athlete, excellent student, great friend

No my son is 4 and will turn 5 this May.
If we hold him back, he would turn 7 his kinder year. Otherwise he will turn 6 the last month of school.

7 in K is too old. 18 his entire senior year is WAY too old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I currently a preschool teacher, taught kindergarten for 20 years before making the move. I tend to err on the side of giving kids with summer birthdays the extra year of preschool.

Why?

- August birthday child who excelled academically

+1 my August boy went on time, and he is doing just fine. Redshirting, for the sake of it is irresponsible and smells of money grabs coming from a preschool.

A seven year old boy in kindergarten is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I currently a preschool teacher, taught kindergarten for 20 years before making the move. I tend to err on the side of giving kids with summer birthdays the extra year of preschool.

Why?

- August birthday child who excelled academically

+1 my August boy went on time, and he is doing just fine. Redshirting, for the sake of it is irresponsible and smells of money grabs coming from a preschool.

A seven year old boy in kindergarten is ridiculous.

Worse than a money grab, it smacks of infantilizing a perfectly capable young child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I currently a preschool teacher, taught kindergarten for 20 years before making the move. I tend to err on the side of giving kids with summer birthdays the extra year of preschool.

Why?

- August birthday child who excelled academically

DP. They've changed school since we were kids, made it more stressful and less enjoyable. They also have greater EF expectations earlier and expect kids to be self-sufficient without teaching them how.

We didn't redshirt our August boy and academically he's doing fine - but am extra year of maturity would have benefitted him significantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I currently a preschool teacher, taught kindergarten for 20 years before making the move. I tend to err on the side of giving kids with summer birthdays the extra year of preschool.

Why?

- August birthday child who excelled academically

DP. They've changed school since we were kids, made it more stressful and less enjoyable. They also have greater EF expectations earlier and expect kids to be self-sufficient without teaching them how.

We didn't redshirt our August boy and academically he's doing fine - but am extra year of maturity would have benefitted him significantly.

Stop expecting so little of your child. If he's doing fine, he's doing fine, and no one wants your 18 year old man in school with their 17 year old daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So he’s already 5 now and turning 6 this May? Send him — a kid turning 7 in kindergarten is ridiculous.

K success is about learning how to learn, and it sounds like he’s got that. His social skills are on point, he’s got solid pre-literacy skills, and he’s able to follow directions and get/stay with the day’s program of activities. He’s ready for a new challenge, and will be bored out of his mind with another year of preschool. Keeping him back when he’s already been kept back (shouldn’t he have started K this past September, at age 5.5?) is not a kindness.

- Parent of May birthday boy, middling height and weight, started K at 5; now varsity athlete, excellent student, great friend

No my son is 4 and will turn 5 this May.
If we hold him back, he would turn 7 his kinder year. Otherwise he will turn 6 the last month of school.

7 in K is too old. 18 his entire senior year is WAY too old.

We are leaning towards sending him. This is just the norm in our area to redshirt May to Aug kids.
March/April it is common to redshirt as well. I know a few Jan or Feb kids held back for no reason. It’s just extremely common. That’s why a lot of people push it because the gap is so big if you send on time especially for the younger kids. There could be kids 14 months older than him
in his class. We have another son who is 2 years older and also May that went on time. I do see the advantage some of his older classmates have. We hoped to keep our kids two grade levels apart though. It’s also hard to explain to one why he was held back and the other wasn’t when they have the same birthday. Any second is actually a week earlier in May.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I currently a preschool teacher, taught kindergarten for 20 years before making the move. I tend to err on the side of giving kids with summer birthdays the extra year of preschool.

Why?

- August birthday child who excelled academically

DP. They've changed school since we were kids, made it more stressful and less enjoyable. They also have greater EF expectations earlier and expect kids to be self-sufficient without teaching them how.

We didn't redshirt our August boy and academically he's doing fine - but am extra year of maturity would have benefitted him significantly.

Isn’t that why people are sending kids to preschool? That’s where they’re learning all of the material they used to learn in kindergarten, back when we were little. So then, what is the reason for holding him back? OP’s son seems ready academically, socially, and emotionally. There is no reason to keep him back another year to relearn the same material he learned this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I currently a preschool teacher, taught kindergarten for 20 years before making the move. I tend to err on the side of giving kids with summer birthdays the extra year of preschool.

Why?

- August birthday child who excelled academically

+1 Why?

Parent of three December birthday children who excelled academically

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I currently a preschool teacher, taught kindergarten for 20 years before making the move. I tend to err on the side of giving kids with summer birthdays the extra year of preschool.

Why?

- August birthday child who excelled academically

DP. They've changed school since we were kids, made it more stressful and less enjoyable. They also have greater EF expectations earlier and expect kids to be self-sufficient without teaching them how.

We didn't redshirt our August boy and academically he's doing fine - but am extra year of maturity would have benefitted him significantly.

Isn’t that why people are sending kids to preschool? That’s where they’re learning all of the material they used to learn in kindergarten, back when we were little. So then, what is the reason for holding him back? OP’s son seems ready academically, socially, and emotionally. There is no reason to keep him back another year to relearn the same material he learned this year.

Behavioral issues will appear if he's bored, too.

[Anonymous]

I have two boys with May birthdays that sounds similar to your son OP except mine are very tall. We went both on time. One is in K now and it’s fine. Some kids turned 6 early in the year but I don’t think anyone is turning 7. He’s not an academic superstar but he’s not behind either, and socially he is good. My older son is the same way. He even shows some leadership qualities within his class despite being on the younger side.

I think your preschool teacher is projecting her own experience onto you. Some May kids aren’t ready but that doesn’t mean none are. My SIL is like this. She thinks May boys aren’t ready and says she regrets sending her May son on time. But he ended up having ADHD and there were definitely signs of it from a young age. This was over 15 years ago and I think nowadays a preschool would notice the signs and advise her son to be held back so they could figure out what was going on before K. So she is only seeing it through the lens of a parent whose kid had extra challenges.

She also lives further south and I know it’s common there. Everyone wants their kid to be the sports star and a leader. Ugh. Parents try to social engineer outcomes for their kids, but they mostly are who they are. Your son will be better off going into K in the fall id there’s already a good peer group for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So he’s already 5 now and turning 6 this May? Send him — a kid turning 7 in kindergarten is ridiculous.

K success is about learning how to learn, and it sounds like he’s got that. His social skills are on point, he’s got solid pre-literacy skills, and he’s able to follow directions and get/stay with the day’s program of activities. He’s ready for a new challenge, and will be bored out of his mind with another year of preschool. Keeping him back when he’s already been kept back (shouldn’t he have started K this past September, at age 5.5?) is not a kindness.

- Parent of May birthday boy, middling height and weight, started K at 5; now varsity athlete, excellent student, great friend

No my son is 4 and will turn 5 this May.
If we hold him back, he would turn 7 his kinder year. Otherwise he will turn 6 the last month of school.

7 in K is too old. 18 his entire senior year is WAY too old.

We are leaning towards sending him. This is just the norm in our area to redshirt May to Aug kids.
March/April it is common to redshirt as well. I know a few Jan or Feb kids held back for no reason. It’s just extremely common. That’s why a lot of people push it because the gap is so big if you send on time especially for the younger kids. There could be kids 14 months older than him
in his class. We have another son who is 2 years older and also May that went on time. I do see the advantage some of his older classmates have. We hoped to keep our kids two grade levels apart though. It’s also hard to explain to one why he was held back and the other wasn’t when they have the same birthday. Any second is actually a week earlier in May.

I guess you shouldn't have held your first back. Don't punish DS2 for the mistake you made with DS1.