It’s traditional that the groom’s family pay for FLOP- flowers, liquor , orchestra and photographer. They’re not willing to pay for any? |
It’s 2023- the bride and groom should be paying for their own wedding. |
I'm not following. A fiancee is a woman. Is your child the bride or groom or is a bride marrying a bride? You say you have two daughters but who is the DS? |
College grads heading directly to grad school? How? |
Exactly. Maybe wait? |
My DS got married last March. He married a wonderful young woman who came from a family that had few resources. My Ex and I agreed that we would each offer X$ amount and our son and his fiancée could figure it out from there. My Ex then decided to pay for the wedding gown, justifying it that we didn’t have any daughters and this was her only opportunity to do so. I then offered to buy the “after ceremony” dress (or whatever it’s called) under the same reasoning.
The Ex and I, at the wedding, also agreed to cover the bar bill. All in, we spent about double what we had originally agreed to. Our new DIL was grateful and we were happy to do. -I should add that our DIL lost her mother several years ago and has a somewhat distant relationship with her dad, so we didn’t step on anyone’s toes here. |
OP here. Our daughter is engaged and the grooms parents want us to pay. Sorry for the typos and autocorrects. |
How about getting married until they can afford it? |
What kind of wedding do you want for your family? If you don’t dare, then offer them a set amount and let them plan it. If you and the fiancé(e)’s family want a big expensive wedding for your families, then you should pay for it. I find it odd that you are wealthy and don’t want to spend on a wedding but will on biz school and med school. |
+1 Never heard of "FLOP" - sounds made up. OIP, you are paying fro undergrad, med school AND a wedding?? Will you adopt me?? |
Yes, this is normally how it works. They pay for the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon. |
Also, everyone pretending confusion re: fiancée and fiancé in the guise of being open minding but really being pedantic can see yourselves out…
OP’s child is a woman marrying a man (pronouns in the OP’s post make it clear). If you’re going to be unreasonably, but on-brand, snobby, question how OP’s future SIL a could be going to a top rated MBA program straight out of undergrad (hint - it’s probably actually law school or some other sort of expensive grad school). |
The med student has 4 years then followed by a low-paid residency. Not realistic to ask them to wait that long. Business school means two years plus however-much-time of gainful employment before saving enough for a wedding. I think it's reasonable for affluent parents on both sides to pay in this case. |
Why are seniors in college getting married? Neither of them has a job. They should wait to get married until they can support themselves. Lots of people get engaged and get married later.
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I wouldn’t want to spend a lot as the odds they last through med school and mba are very low. |