New School for 10th Grader

[Anonymous]

My DD is in 9th at an area girls school (since we are not naming schools, I will just call them the Gators). It has not been at all what we were hoping. She loved her visitation day and felt the girls were so nice. Now, at school, the cliques are terrible. She does have a few nice friends, but they are left out of everything else. And the moms are even worse. We are still figuring out what to do about next year. I really regret sending her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is in 9th at an area girls school (since we are not naming schools, I will just call them the Gators). It has not been at all what we were hoping. She loved her visitation day and felt the girls were so nice. Now, at school, the cliques are terrible. She does have a few nice friends, but they are left out of everything else. And the moms are even worse. We are still figuring out what to do about next year. I really regret sending her.

OP here. We are at the same school. Gators. She’s been there a long time, had a really good group of friends, but lately it’s just been cliquish and unkindness. What’s really coming out is that we have basically raised our kids to be compassionate and empathetic people but the other parents have raised their kids to be so competitive, it’s a real win at all costs attitude. She still has some good friends, but the hurt feelings of broken friendships without explanation and being excluded has worn her down. We are trying to figure out what to do for next year too, which is why I posted the original post. We can’t go to Madeira, it’s a million miles from us in Bethesda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid's "Big 3" high school is like this. It's known for its progressive and inclusive policies but in reality there is a huge contingent of mean kids (most of them rich and white) who spend a lot of time ostracizing and talking **** on social media about the other kids.

All-girls?

[Anonymous]

For what it’s worth, there are girls from Bethesda at Madeira.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For what it’s worth, there are girls from Bethesda at Madeira.

I’m PP. I think traffic in the AM is probably fine, but there is probably trafffic at night. The nice thing is that since it is a boarding school, your DD’s drop off/pick up can be flexible. Drop off can be between 7:30-8:15 AM and girls are entitled to eat all three meals there as part of tuition. The day typically ends at 4:30, but day students can stay late on campus. Your child can eat dinner there and attend study hall. If you are desperate maybe call the school admissions and ask to speak to a Bethesda family. Or at least google map the traffic. I’m sorry your daughter is experiencing this!

[Anonymous]

Is there something wrong with your local public other than it being public? Your DD will likely have a much better social experience.

[Anonymous]

We do not want Madeira but thanks. It’s too difficult to get to and out of our price range. We are looking for a Dc or Maryland school. We are considering public, yes. However the question was where is there a school for a rising 10th grader where the kids are for the most part nice, inclusive, value friendship, value academics, probably faith based, snd the families are down to earth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do not want Madeira but thanks. It’s too difficult to get to and out of our price range. We are looking for a Dc or Maryland school. We are considering public, yes. However the question was where is there a school for a rising 10th grader where the kids are for the most part nice, inclusive, value friendship, value academics, probably faith based, snd the families are down to earth.

Apply to Burke. Very nice families

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do not want Madeira but thanks. It’s too difficult to get to and out of our price range. We are looking for a Dc or Maryland school. We are considering public, yes. However the question was where is there a school for a rising 10th grader where the kids are for the most part nice, inclusive, value friendship, value academics, probably faith based, snd the families are down to earth.

Apply to Burke. Very nice families

Agree that the kids are very nice at Burke but OP seems to want faith-based. I wouldn’t assume that there are nicer kids in a faith-based environment. Our experience in a Catholic private was the exact opposite experience. Lots of bullying and bad behavior ignored by the administration. We left for public and it has been an appreciably better experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do not want Madeira but thanks. It’s too difficult to get to and out of our price range. We are looking for a Dc or Maryland school. We are considering public, yes. However the question was where is there a school for a rising 10th grader where the kids are for the most part nice, inclusive, value friendship, value academics, probably faith based, snd the families are down to earth.

Apply to Burke. Very nice families

Agree that the kids are very nice at Burke but OP seems to want faith-based. I wouldn’t assume that there are nicer kids in a faith-based environment. Our experience in a Catholic private was the exact opposite experience. Lots of bullying and bad behavior ignored by the administration. We left for public and it has been an appreciably better experience.

Actually we love Burke but the grounds leave something to be desired for an athlete

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Madeira.

My DD is not at Maderia - but has a good friend in 9th grade there.
My DD has done a bunch of social things with Maderia girls this semester and has had a lot of fun. I can not comment on the day to day - but my observation of this group is "nice kids"

I have a 9th grader at Madeira who is a bit of a quirky and sometimes introverted kid. Was a bit concerned about a girls school given how totally rotten girls can be in packs but the kids have been so nice and inclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do not want Madeira but thanks. It’s too difficult to get to and out of our price range. We are looking for a Dc or Maryland school. We are considering public, yes. However the question was where is there a school for a rising 10th grader where the kids are for the most part nice, inclusive, value friendship, value academics, probably faith based, snd the families are down to earth.

Madeira does offer a good bit of aid but can’t deny it is pricey. Are you limiting to catholic schools? Might be a bit of a null set for a girl with that description.

[Anonymous]

OP, consider SJC. My DD had a very bad social experience in public MS and has found a good atmosphere at St. John’s. There are a lot kids doing a lot of activities with a lot of overlap between groups so there is room to find friends and the tendency of girls to get cliquey and exclude is diluted. My DD has not reported anything like this. As a transfer, your DD won’t be able to be in the Scholars program but she will have access to all but one Honors/AP class. Good Counsel might be an option as well for similar reasons. GL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid's "Big 3" high school is like this. It's known for its progressive and inclusive policies but in reality there is a huge contingent of mean kids (most of them rich and white) who spend a lot of time ostracizing and talking **** on social media about the other kids.

All-girls?

Nope

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do not want Madeira but thanks. It’s too difficult to get to and out of our price range. We are looking for a Dc or Maryland school. We are considering public, yes. However the question was where is there a school for a rising 10th grader where the kids are for the most part nice, inclusive, value friendship, value academics, probably faith based, snd the families are down to earth.

Honestly, this kind of school sounds great in theory but completely divorced from the reality that are high school girls. Even in a faith-based setting, it’s always been a toxic atmosphere, in my experience. I think for a sensitive teen, the most you can hope for is a few good friends. Also, if you haven’t read Untangled: Guiding Girls Through the Transition to Adulthood by Damour, check it out.