Boyfriend wants to introduce me to his family tomorrow

[Anonymous]

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

The only reason not to meet them after a year is because you don’t see a future with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A year? Go with it.

I haven’t even introduced him to my kid yet. I would prefer to do that before I meet his family.

After a year? WTF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a big deal, OP. You’re not signing a contract or anything! Go, be a nice version of yourself, and have fun.

OP here, I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but I’m a bit hesitant. I’m kind of shy and have a bit of anxiety about these things. I had a really bad experience with my ex in laws so meeting just the thought of meeting his family makes me really nervous.

Then you need to get over yourself. I have marked social anxiety and met my boyfriend's entire family two weeks after our first date. I smiled, didn't say much, but listened politely and generally set out not to shock, and it was fine. We got married and here we are, 20 years later, with a teen about to go off to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A year? Go with it.

I haven’t even introduced him to my kid yet. I would prefer to do that before I meet his family.

Why would you want to bring your kid into it first? That doesn’t make sense. Your kid and their feelings are far more important than his family.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a big deal, OP. You’re not signing a contract or anything! Go, be a nice version of yourself, and have fun.

OP here, I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but I’m a bit hesitant. I’m kind of shy and have a bit of anxiety about these things. I had a really bad experience with my ex in laws so meeting just the thought of meeting his family makes me really nervous.

NP.

OP, you wrote your own script here, but have you used it? Say to HIM exactly what you wrote above in bold.

If you have been dating a year and he's serious enough to want you to meet his family, then you should be comfortable enough with him to say those words above directly to him. And to let him know you want to talk abuot how the meeting will go, what you should expect, he should tell you a bit about each person you'll be meeting etc., to allay your worries.

"I had a really bad experience with my ex-inlaws so the thought of meeting your family makes me nervous." You really should add then: "I realize your family isn't like them! I want you to know that. I just wanted to be up front with you about my nerves here. I'm anxious. What do I need to know about your family? Help prep me and tell me about them a little. It'll help."

If you have not yet said anything like this simply and directly -- why not? You should be communicating better than that, after a year as a couple. If you feel you can't tell him what you're telling anonymous strangers on the internet, well, is there some reason you fear telling him? Is there a bigger issue thatn just meeting his folks? Is it a pattern that you don't tell him what you really think and feel? Just something to consider. But you have to have the "I'm nervous and here's why" conversation immediately if you're about to meet the folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a big deal, OP. You’re not signing a contract or anything! Go, be a nice version of yourself, and have fun.

OP here, I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but I’m a bit hesitant. I’m kind of shy and have a bit of anxiety about these things. I had a really bad experience with my ex in laws so meeting just the thought of meeting his family makes me really nervous.

NP.

OP, you wrote your own script here, but have you used it? Say to HIM exactly what you wrote above in bold.

If you have been dating a year and he's serious enough to want you to meet his family, then you should be comfortable enough with him to say those words above directly to him. And to let him know you want to talk abuot how the meeting will go, what you should expect, he should tell you a bit about each person you'll be meeting etc., to allay your worries.

"I had a really bad experience with my ex-inlaws so the thought of meeting your family makes me nervous." You really should add then: "I realize your family isn't like them! I want you to know that. I just wanted to be up front with you about my nerves here. I'm anxious. What do I need to know about your family? Help prep me and tell me about them a little. It'll help."

If you have not yet said anything like this simply and directly -- why not? You should be communicating better than that, after a year as a couple. If you feel you can't tell him what you're telling anonymous strangers on the internet, well, is there some reason you fear telling him? Is there a bigger issue thatn just meeting his folks? Is it a pattern that you don't tell him what you really think and feel? Just something to consider. But you have to have the "I'm nervous and here's why" conversation immediately if you're about to meet the folks.

Goodness, way to give in to the snowflake-ism. OP just needs to buck up already, instead of making this into a bigger deal than it is.

[Anonymous]

You are being crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a big deal, OP. You’re not signing a contract or anything! Go, be a nice version of yourself, and have fun.

OP here, I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but I’m a bit hesitant. I’m kind of shy and have a bit of anxiety about these things. I had a really bad experience with my ex in laws so meeting just the thought of meeting his family makes me really nervous.

NP.

OP, you wrote your own script here, but have you used it? Say to HIM exactly what you wrote above in bold.

If you have been dating a year and he's serious enough to want you to meet his family, then you should be comfortable enough with him to say those words above directly to him. And to let him know you want to talk abuot how the meeting will go, what you should expect, he should tell you a bit about each person you'll be meeting etc., to allay your worries.

"I had a really bad experience with my ex-inlaws so the thought of meeting your family makes me nervous." You really should add then: "I realize your family isn't like them! I want you to know that. I just wanted to be up front with you about my nerves here. I'm anxious. What do I need to know about your family? Help prep me and tell me about them a little. It'll help."

If you have not yet said anything like this simply and directly -- why not? You should be communicating better than that, after a year as a couple. If you feel you can't tell him what you're telling anonymous strangers on the internet, well, is there some reason you fear telling him? Is there a bigger issue thatn just meeting his folks? Is it a pattern that you don't tell him what you really think and feel? Just something to consider. But you have to have the "I'm nervous and here's why" conversation immediately if you're about to meet the folks.

💯

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a big deal, OP. You’re not signing a contract or anything! Go, be a nice version of yourself, and have fun.

OP here, I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but I’m a bit hesitant. I’m kind of shy and have a bit of anxiety about these things. I had a really bad experience with my ex in laws so meeting just the thought of meeting his family makes me really nervous.

That isn’t fair to put on your new guy.

I know it’s not. This is my first relationship post divorce so this hasn’t been easy for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a big deal, OP. You’re not signing a contract or anything! Go, be a nice version of yourself, and have fun.

OP here, I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but I’m a bit hesitant. I’m kind of shy and have a bit of anxiety about these things. I had a really bad experience with my ex in laws so meeting just the thought of meeting his family makes me really nervous.

NP.

OP, you wrote your own script here, but have you used it? Say to HIM exactly what you wrote above in bold.

If you have been dating a year and he's serious enough to want you to meet his family, then you should be comfortable enough with him to say those words above directly to him. And to let him know you want to talk abuot how the meeting will go, what you should expect, he should tell you a bit about each person you'll be meeting etc., to allay your worries.

"I had a really bad experience with my ex-inlaws so the thought of meeting your family makes me nervous." You really should add then: "I realize your family isn't like them! I want you to know that. I just wanted to be up front with you about my nerves here. I'm anxious. What do I need to know about your family? Help prep me and tell me about them a little. It'll help."

If you have not yet said anything like this simply and directly -- why not? You should be communicating better than that, after a year as a couple. If you feel you can't tell him what you're telling anonymous strangers on the internet, well, is there some reason you fear telling him? Is there a bigger issue thatn just meeting his folks? Is it a pattern that you don't tell him what you really think and feel? Just something to consider. But you have to have the "I'm nervous and here's why" conversation immediately if you're about to meet the folks.

Thank you. We talked about it and I agreed to go. He told me if I feel uncomfortable at all, just let him know and we’ll leave early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a big deal, OP. You’re not signing a contract or anything! Go, be a nice version of yourself, and have fun.

Thank you. We talked about it and I agreed to go. He told me if I feel uncomfortable at all, just let him know and we’ll leave early.

You have a very nice boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A year? Go with it.

I haven’t even introduced him to my kid yet. I would prefer to do that before I meet his family.

Welp, I predict your relationship not working out.

This. If I had a kid in this situation I would want to meet the family before introducing kid to SO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would want to make sure his family wasn’t insane before he met my
Kid.

Haha!

Excellent point! 😃

[Anonymous]

We met my nephew's SO at a family gathering last night. She was adorable, down-to-earth, and friendly. Give these people a chance or break up.