Guy I’m about to break up with bought me an expensive gift

[Anonymous]

Cash and Prizes on the way out the door! you go girl!

[Anonymous]

The answer is to break up with him now, the next time you see him, ASAP. He wants to marry you. You are waffling, but it's clear even from your short post that you do not want to marry this man, and you never will. It may feel "nice" to keep dating him, to keep giving him another chance, because he a good guy at heart, etc, etc, but this is NOT nice. You're stringing him along, unintentionally, but that's what you're doing. Be honest with yourself, do the tough but right thing, and break up with him now, before he has the chance to give you this gift.

[Anonymous]

Break up with him!! Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That happened to me. I didn't have the heart to break it off. We've been married for 22 years!

How is your relationship? Duration is not a good predictor of a healthy happy couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would you do? I’ve been dating a guy for over a year who wants to marry me, but our relationship has been rocky due to his bipolar disorder and I think it’s soon time to go different directions. I know he recently bought me an expensive Christmas gift (likely jewelry) that I don’t want. He really wants to see me open it, and I know it brings him pleasure to see me happy. But it’s going to be painful for me to open this gift. Should I ask him to take it back? I’ve been strict with him that he isn’t to buy me expensive gifts and this is the first nice gift he has given me. Advice needed.

Break up with him now, before the holiday so he can return it. How is this even a question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer is to break up with him now, the next time you see him, ASAP. He wants to marry you. You are waffling, but it's clear even from your short post that you do not want to marry this man, and you never will. It may feel "nice" to keep dating him, to keep giving him another chance, because he a good guy at heart, etc, etc, but this is NOT nice. You're stringing him along, unintentionally, but that's what you're doing. Be honest with yourself, do the tough but right thing, and break up with him now, before he has the chance to give you this gift.

Yep. You are deliberately keeping him from finding someone who wants to be with him. Don't be gross.

[Anonymous]

To this day I think the nicest thing I did was refuse to accept a gift from BF that I had serious doubts about. Same holiday time of year. I just had a hunch it was going to be a very significant gift he was excited to give me but with my doubts I thought it wasn’t right for him for me to accept-even though he insisted. I broke up with him soon after. Haha - still wish I knew what it was but know I did the right thing!

[Anonymous]

You telling him that you don’t want the gift will be a good starting point for an it’s over conversation.

[Anonymous]

This is so weird and trust me OP, you're no peach either. Weird flex that you've been strict with him on what he is and isn't allowed to buy you. You have a lot of work to do if your goal is marriage.

Dump him, get therapy and read some books about finding a good partner and being a good partner.

[Anonymous]

I have an adult son with bipolar. I get not being able to commit. But you really need to set some parameters and hard lines before Christmas. If you go into the holidays without this, you could be the start of a heavy duty spiral that destroys his life. That would be so unbelievably cruel and you could destroy his life for years to come. Bipolar is no joke.

[Anonymous]

Break up with him.

He won’t give you the gift because you’ll no longer be a couple.

Not complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I should also note that I’m not 100 percent sure I’m going to break up with him. We talk multiple times a day, so I haven’t been able to break it off with him and I think he feels the same way.

Sorry, not sorry to say that you are a bad person.

You need to spend time quickly and figure out what you want to do. You know that the man has problems but it devoted to you and wants to marry you. You know that he has purchased an expensive gift for you for the holidays.

You need to figure out quickly whether you want to commit to this man. If you can't commit to this man and you have reservations due to his personal problems, then you need to come to terms quickly that you are not the right person for him. He deserves someone who cares for him as much as he cares for you. If you aren't that person, be kind and let him go and do so before he invests a lot more time, effort and money into this relationship. If you go in with less than a full commitment, you'll always be thinking of yourself as having settled, but looking for something better.

A good person would not string someone along like this and definitely would not let someone invest that much affection and emotion in you without being able to return the same affection. So, be a better person than you are and talk to him sooner rather than later and stop stringing him along and wasting his time, money and emotion on you.

[Anonymous]

Just break up now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an adult son with bipolar. I get not being able to commit. But you really need to set some parameters and hard lines before Christmas. If you go into the holidays without this, you could be the start of a heavy duty spiral that destroys his life. That would be so unbelievably cruel and you could destroy his life for years to come. Bipolar is no joke.

This is not fair to her. She is not sure what she wants to do. She’s entitled to think about it to make sure.

[Anonymous]

You’re using him for companionship, when you don’t see a future. Not cool.

You owe him honesty and respect. Don’t talk to him multiple times a day just because you’re lonely, geez!! Selfish.

But be kind.