10 Year Old Arrested for Hugging Counselor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Fair point to the above. My oldest is 6 so I don’t really have first hand experience with what 10 year olds know/are capable of. I’m viewing this through the eyes of a mom with younger boys who absolutely still love body part/toilet humor and don’t yet understand bodies as having sexual parts.

Well, OP, some of the female classmates of these 10 year old boys already started their periods. Consider that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/10-year-old-student-hugged-school-counselor-now-facing-charges-accused-rcna56355

This raises some interesting questions. Obviously, there could be more facts here like this is a repeated pattern of behavior that the school cannot speak to. So I’m trying to keep an open mind.

But … the kid is 10. It’s entirely possible he a) accidentally touched her breast during the hug or b) has absolutely no understanding of the gravity of doing so. I’m not saying the counselor should give up her right to bodily autonomy, but it seems like this is a risk of working around kids and perhaps getting the criminal justice system involved is overkill. The racial differences also aren’t good optics.

Let’s say the kid truly is pervy, I don’t think this behavior should be enabled, but maybe a stern lesson could be taught without cops involved?

What says DCUM about this?

If the counselor asked for a hug, she is in the wrong. There should be no physical touch between staff and students beyond shaking hands, fist bumps, hi-5, etc. Even a dap is borderline IMO.
If he asked for a hug she should have declined. She is the adult AND a counselor for fox sake, and should be comfortable asserting boundaries.

Lastly, FL treats students like sH^^. I should know, I went to school there. 100% treat-kids-like-criminals thread in the school systems there, which never seems to apply to white males btw. Women, POC, etc. only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I saw arrest a 10yo - my first instinct was that the child is black and the counselor is white. That’s what happens to black boys and would never happen to a white boy.
And yep, confirmed.
How sad. Black boys (and girls) are treated like adults from a very young age.
Such an overreaction.

I had the same demographic thoughts in my head as I read the article too. And I wonder about the boy’s size. Sometimes taller/larger black children are not held to the same standards as other children v because their size. For instance the teenager who fell off the ride at the Orlando theme park (my heart still sinks thinking about how awful that was). I remember seeing comments in news articles about how he should have known he was too big for the ride, when in actuality he was a minor with a childlike trust in authority. So I could totally see a mature-appearing black boy not being given the same benefit of the doubt as a scrawny white 10 year old boy. Puberty can lead to many physical variations right around that age.

It sounds like his family is pretty fired up about it, so I imagine more info. will come out.

[Anonymous]

A 10 year old should be given counseling or detention or a suspension, but not be injected into the criminal justice system based on what has been reported.

When given a chance to state what happened, the 10 year old simply yelled at his teacher and did not deny the validity of the allegation so the more reasonable assumption is that the incident happened as reported. Nevertheless, still no need for police / court / criminal justice involvement.

[Anonymous]

Honestly if an adult tells a child you just touched my breast and he did not do it knowingly, it can be expected a child would yell “I didn’t do that!”. Kids nearly always are vocal and don’t want to be punished for things that did not do. Shy children may tear up and cry at the thought of being accused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 10 year old should be given counseling or detention or a suspension, but not be injected into the criminal justice system based on what has been reported.

When given a chance to state what happened, the 10 year old simply yelled at his teacher and did not deny the validity of the allegation so the more reasonable assumption is that the incident happened as reported. Nevertheless, still no need for police / court / criminal justice involvement.

The police report says the teacher called him up to ask him what happened and he started to yell. He could have been embarrassed (if it were an accident) and yelled when put on the spot by the teacher because he didn’t know how to handle/articulate things as a kid.

Or it could be the counselor’s version was accurate.

Or somewhere in the middle.

I’m not sure anything is a reasonable assumption at this point. I hope the school attempted to interview some witnesses to corroborate this before calling the police at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly if an adult tells a child you just touched my breast and he did not do it knowingly, it can be expected a child would yell “I didn’t do that!”. Kids nearly always are vocal and don’t want to be punished for things that did not do. Shy children may tear up and cry at the thought of being accused.

They also do all this when there’s video footage of them doing what they were accused of…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I saw arrest a 10yo - my first instinct was that the child is black and the counselor is white. That’s what happens to black boys and would never happen to a white boy.
And yep, confirmed.
How sad. Black boys (and girls) are treated like adults from a very young age.
Such an overreaction.

I had the same instinct, and yep, there it is. I really cannot understand why people who think it’s ok to ruin the lives of 10-year olds go into the education business. Not to say the child shouldn’t be disciplined if it turned out that was an intentional grope, but not everything is appropriate for the criminal justice system. Especially when it comes to black children, who are still children and still think like children and should still be treated like children, despite whatever prejudice or nonsense beliefs their educators bring with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I saw arrest a 10yo - my first instinct was that the child is black and the counselor is white. That’s what happens to black boys and would never happen to a white boy.
And yep, confirmed.
How sad. Black boys (and girls) are treated like adults from a very young age.
Such an overreaction.

I had the same instinct, and yep, there it is. I really cannot understand why people who think it’s ok to ruin the lives of 10-year olds go into the education business. Not to say the child shouldn’t be disciplined if it turned out that was an intentional grope, but not everything is appropriate for the criminal justice system. Especially when it comes to black children, who are still children and still think like children and should still be treated like children, despite whatever prejudice or nonsense beliefs their educators bring with them.

Ironically, now that it's going viral, the counselor's life is ruined too and I think I'm ok with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Fair point to the above. My oldest is 6 so I don’t really have first hand experience with what 10 year olds know/are capable of. I’m viewing this through the eyes of a mom with younger boys who absolutely still love body part/toilet humor and don’t yet understand bodies as having sexual parts.

I hope you have already talked to them about appropriate touching but it sounds like you haven't. They need to know about what is inappropriate behavior from adults as far as their bodies. It is awkward but you have to tell them as their mother.

[Anonymous]

The child was probably abused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I saw arrest a 10yo - my first instinct was that the child is black and the counselor is white. That’s what happens to black boys and would never happen to a white boy.
And yep, confirmed.
How sad. Black boys (and girls) are treated like adults from a very young age.
Such an overreaction.

+1

He’s 10. Such a shame.

But aren’t we supposed to always believe the woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I saw arrest a 10yo - my first instinct was that the child is black and the counselor is white. That’s what happens to black boys and would never happen to a white boy.
And yep, confirmed.
How sad. Black boys (and girls) are treated like adults from a very young age.
Such an overreaction.

+1

He’s 10. Such a shame.

But aren’t we supposed to always believe the woman?

You can believe it happened and also believe that it was an accident, an overreaction, an escalation, an inappropriate correction, etc.

[Anonymous]

I find it odd that a 10-year old boy went up to an unfamiliar woman and asked for a hug unless he had special needs or it was a dare from his friends. I have a child with special needs and we work very hard to discourage inappropriate touching.

[Anonymous]

So far, he has been suspended (not expelled) and also not charged. I don’t see an overreaction yet. If it was a “dare” type situation, as several people have suggested, that seems like the spot on correct reaction.

Having worked in schools, it’s very possible the counselor believed the school would not have suspended without her filing a police report.

All that said he should not be charged and I hope police don’t move forward with that.