Behavior in schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is completely correct and the awful behavior + parent enabling is a major reason for teacher burnout. There’s a great teacher-led channel on YouTube that talks about this issue in detail - Teacher Therapy. (https://youtube.com/c/TeacherTherapy)

It's parent burn-out more than parent enabling. Some people's workplaces has stayed permanently remote but despite all the time and money they save without having to commute or leave the house, it creates new and weird problems in the family dynamic that affect the kids. Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're really discounting the effects of the pandemic. While DD and DS have mostly recovered, DH and I have not. And our kids don't live in a vacuum. Nor do any other kids.

If you haven't recovered then it's because you want to blame it for all your problems brought on by yourself.

Perhaps you have not recovered yet either, PP.

[Anonymous]

OP, I will continue to work on my parenting. There are many factors at play here and parenting is just one piece. The current system sets everyone up to fail and then the parents and teacher blame each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're really discounting the effects of the pandemic. While DD and DS have mostly recovered, DH and I have not. And our kids don't live in a vacuum. Nor do any other kids.

If you haven't recovered then it's because you want to blame it for all your problems brought on by yourself.

Perhaps you have not recovered yet either, PP.

We had no problems during Covid and none post Covid. But, we are adults and don't complain and we take responsibility for ourselves and our life choices/decisions. I'd recommend that you do the same but first you need to grow up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're really discounting the effects of the pandemic. While DD and DS have mostly recovered, DH and I have not. And our kids don't live in a vacuum. Nor do any other kids.

If you haven't recovered then it's because you want to blame it for all your problems brought on by yourself.

Perhaps you have not recovered yet either, PP.

We had no problems during Covid and none post Covid. But, we are adults and don't complain and we take responsibility for ourselves and our life choices/decisions. I'd recommend that you do the same but first you need to grow up

I was being generous. I suppose it isn't due to the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your school and teachers need some lessons in classroom and school management.

NP here. OP, I too work in a school and understand exactly what you are saying. Sadly the problem kids often have parents like the above. I've had students tell me (when I confront them over an issue) - "Call my mom, she won't care." and you know what? The kid was telling the truth. Not much I can do with that as a teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear parents,

Many of your kids are out of control. They don't listen to adults at school, they are physically aggressive, they have no respect for property. Yes some of your kids are delightful. But every teacher who has spent any significant time in elementary schools are saying this is the worst year ever in terms of behavior. I know we like to blame the pandemic, but enough time has passed with them back in school that I don't think we can keep blaming that for such a huge level of disrespect.

Yes I know your instinct is to blame teachers, but I can't tell you how hard they are working. I know you don't believe it, but I see it every day.

Here are some things to consider when you are parenting at home and saying "I have to choose my battles"

--when you don't make your children sit at the table for a meal, let them get up at restaurants, or pacify them with screens--you're not teaching them to be able to sit at a cafeteria table for 25 minutes and eat their meal with focus. When there's 100-200 kids in there at a time, this becomes a huge problem.
--when you carry their jacket for them or pick up their trash when they've dropped it, you're not teaching them to take care of the environment around them or take responsibility for their belongings.
--when you let them interrupt you and you allow them to dominate conversations, you're not helping them to learn how to hold their comments in class until it's time to comment, or not interrupt when a book is being read to them.
--if they make a big mess and you take a photo of it to post on social media, you are teaching them that it's funny
--if a teacher lets you know that your kid made a poor choice, don't just let it go.

Work with your children to problem solve without being aggressive. Talk about feelings at home, but don't allow their feelings to completely excuse poor choices. Give them chores. Hold them responsible for their actions. Set boundaries and don't be afraid to enforce them. Be consistent. Positive parenting has its place, but if you see a behavior is not going away, consider other options. Yes I know it's harder to do these things and yes I know you're tired, we all are., The kids I see with the most egregious behavior problems need the most support and love. But it's exhausting giving that to them when they're constantly hurting others and trashing the school.

I hope I don't get crucified for this post, but if I do I can take it. It takes working as a team to get these kids educated and safely to leave your home as an adult. Let's do this together. Please don't take this in defense, but in the possibility that doing these things you can help your child succeed at school and in the real world.

This is a preachy, grating post, but I agree 100% with the bolded. My top parenting pet-peeves are kids getting up and running around at restaurants (or zoning out w/ screens) and interrupting adult conversations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

you have absolutely no knowledge of the real reasons for behavior problems.

Actually, OP has a pretty good handle on why there seems to be a systematic breakdown in some ES kids. I have elementary kids and sick of them coming home telling about other students behavioral issues. We don’t play that at home and they don’t do it at school. I’m not bragging and my kids sure as Sh*t aren’t perfect. But, I whole heartedly stand by the importance of what OP mentions as areas where (WE parents) have the responsibility to help our kids model good behavior.

I’d love to know what you think are the “real reasons” for behavioral problems?

[Anonymous]

Op here. The school and administration is working very hard, but there is just so much we can do. Student aren't afraid when their parents get a call from the principal. They have behavior charts, incentives, consequences. Rules, repetition, predictable schedules. The behavior continues. Sometimes immediately after it was addressed.

Even if you haven't recovered from the pandemic, you have to put the time into your kids, for their sake (and yours). Kids thrive with firm, loving boundaries. But we can't do this alone. I know this sounds grating to some, but I'm saying this all with sincerity. And I've talked to teachers in schools with different SES levels and it's a problem across the board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. The school and administration is working very hard, but there is just so much we can do. Student aren't afraid when their parents get a call from the principal. They have behavior charts, incentives, consequences. Rules, repetition, predictable schedules. The behavior continues. Sometimes immediately after it was addressed.

Even if you haven't recovered from the pandemic, you have to put the time into your kids, for their sake (and yours). Kids thrive with firm, loving boundaries. But we can't do this alone. I know this sounds grating to some, but I'm saying this all with sincerity. And I've talked to teachers in schools with different SES levels and it's a problem across the board.

Kid's shouldn't be afraid when you call their parents. That type of scare parenting never worked and I'm glad we are moving away from it. I want my kids to know that if I get a call that they are struggling I will love them and help them through it. Not "OMG mom's going to be so mad!". That tactic does work for some behavior modification, but it doesn't actually help any kids, and the kids you're talking about with chronic needs it definitely wont help.

Agree with putting time in to kids and understanding boundaries, but don't agree with parents being scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear parents,

Many of your kids are out of control. They don't listen to adults at school, they are physically aggressive, they have no respect for property. Yes some of your kids are delightful. But every teacher who has spent any significant time in elementary schools are saying this is the worst year ever in terms of behavior. I know we like to blame the pandemic, but enough time has passed with them back in school that I don't think we can keep blaming that for such a huge level of disrespect.

Yes I know your instinct is to blame teachers, but I can't tell you how hard they are working. I know you don't believe it, but I see it every day.

Here are some things to consider when you are parenting at home and saying "I have to choose my battles"

--when you don't make your children sit at the table for a meal, let them get up at restaurants, or pacify them with screens--you're not teaching them to be able to sit at a cafeteria table for 25 minutes and eat their meal with focus. When there's 100-200 kids in there at a time, this becomes a huge problem.
--when you carry their jacket for them or pick up their trash when they've dropped it, you're not teaching them to take care of the environment around them or take responsibility for their belongings.
--when you let them interrupt you and you allow them to dominate conversations, you're not helping them to learn how to hold their comments in class until it's time to comment, or not interrupt when a book is being read to them.
--if they make a big mess and you take a photo of it to post on social media, you are teaching them that it's funny
--if a teacher lets you know that your kid made a poor choice, don't just let it go.

Work with your children to problem solve without being aggressive. Talk about feelings at home, but don't allow their feelings to completely excuse poor choices. Give them chores. Hold them responsible for their actions. Set boundaries and don't be afraid to enforce them. Be consistent. Positive parenting has its place, but if you see a behavior is not going away, consider other options. Yes I know it's harder to do these things and yes I know you're tired, we all are., The kids I see with the most egregious behavior problems need the most support and love. But it's exhausting giving that to them when they're constantly hurting others and trashing the school.

I hope I don't get crucified for this post, but if I do I can take it. It takes working as a team to get these kids educated and safely to leave your home as an adult. Let's do this together. Please don't take this in defense, but in the possibility that doing these things you can help your child succeed at school and in the real world.

Shut up fool

[Anonymous]

Dear OP

Don’t teach in public schools it’s always been like that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear parents,

Many of your kids are out of control. They don't listen to adults at school, they are physically aggressive, they have no respect for property. Yes some of your kids are delightful. But every teacher who has spent any significant time in elementary schools are saying this is the worst year ever in terms of behavior. I know we like to blame the pandemic, but enough time has passed with them back in school that I don't think we can keep blaming that for such a huge level of disrespect.

Yes I know your instinct is to blame teachers, but I can't tell you how hard they are working. I know you don't believe it, but I see it every day.

Here are some things to consider when you are parenting at home and saying "I have to choose my battles"

--when you don't make your children sit at the table for a meal, let them get up at restaurants, or pacify them with screens--you're not teaching them to be able to sit at a cafeteria table for 25 minutes and eat their meal with focus. When there's 100-200 kids in there at a time, this becomes a huge problem.
--when you carry their jacket for them or pick up their trash when they've dropped it, you're not teaching them to take care of the environment around them or take responsibility for their belongings.
--when you let them interrupt you and you allow them to dominate conversations, you're not helping them to learn how to hold their comments in class until it's time to comment, or not interrupt when a book is being read to them.
--if they make a big mess and you take a photo of it to post on social media, you are teaching them that it's funny
--if a teacher lets you know that your kid made a poor choice, don't just let it go.

Work with your children to problem solve without being aggressive. Talk about feelings at home, but don't allow their feelings to completely excuse poor choices. Give them chores. Hold them responsible for their actions. Set boundaries and don't be afraid to enforce them. Be consistent. Positive parenting has its place, but if you see a behavior is not going away, consider other options. Yes I know it's harder to do these things and yes I know you're tired, we all are., The kids I see with the most egregious behavior problems need the most support and love. But it's exhausting giving that to them when they're constantly hurting others and trashing the school.

I hope I don't get crucified for this post, but if I do I can take it. It takes working as a team to get these kids educated and safely to leave your home as an adult. Let's do this together. Please don't take this in defense, but in the possibility that doing these things you can help your child succeed at school and in the real world.

Shut up fool

Wow, snappy comeback! 😂😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP

Don’t teach in public schools it’s always been like that

No, it hasn't. It's gotten progressively worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. The school and administration is working very hard, but there is just so much we can do. Student aren't afraid when their parents get a call from the principal. They have behavior charts, incentives, consequences. Rules, repetition, predictable schedules. The behavior continues. Sometimes immediately after it was addressed.

Even if you haven't recovered from the pandemic, you have to put the time into your kids, for their sake (and yours). Kids thrive with firm, loving boundaries. But we can't do this alone. I know this sounds grating to some, but I'm saying this all with sincerity. And I've talked to teachers in schools with different SES levels and it's a problem across the board.

Kid's shouldn't be afraid when you call their parents. That type of scare parenting never worked and I'm glad we are moving away from it. I want my kids to know that if I get a call that they are struggling I will love them and help them through it. Not "OMG mom's going to be so mad!". That tactic does work for some behavior modification, but it doesn't actually help any kids, and the kids you're talking about with chronic needs it definitely wont help.

Agree with putting time in to kids and understanding boundaries, but don't agree with parents being scary.

I literally laughed at this. They're ignoring the teacher telling them to sit down and stop talking, they keep shoving kids when they're in line, they keep throwing things, and you view this as a day when they struggled and you want to show your kid extra compassion and love? What, you think they need more loving attention from you? NO! They need to be punished for their crappy behavior and told in no uncertain terms to knock it off.