Embarrassing but Humorous Sleepwalking Stories?

[Anonymous]

I once walked to what I thought was the bathroom across the hall, only I had only made it to my bedroom door. I sat down on my wicker wastebasket and started peeing. My mom woke up from across the hall to the rustling of paper.

I would wake up on the scary dark basement as a kid, middle of the night no lights on. I wouldn’t go down there in the day! With all the lights!

Once I came down while my parents were having a dinner party and started making myself cereal- obvs thought it was breakfast/morning.

In high school I woke up, took a SHOWER, and had turned on the hair dryer after I dried off. My mom waking me up from that was really upsetting. It was 2 am.

I don’t know why but I stopped sleepwalking when I became an adult and moved out of the house.

[Anonymous]

I full-on attacked DH in the middle of the night. Hitting him, kicking, flailing all over. Totally freaked him out. Can you imagine waking at 2am under physical attack from a spouse?!? He was blocking my hits and getting untangled from the blankets to get out of bed when I suddenly flopped back over to my side of the bed and fell silent. I have no memory of it. Don't even know what I was dreaming about.

[Anonymous]

I’m not a habitual sleepwalker, but I know I did at least once in my life. I was home from college for Christmas break. I came to the kitchen for breakfast one morning, and my dad had this weird smirk mixed with a touch of bewilderment on his face. The conversation ensued as follows:

Dad: “Morning, Son! So, did everything work out for you with the lights last night?”

Me taking my first sip of coffee: “Lights? What do you mean?”

Dad: “The Christmas lights. You came out of your room in search mode at 1:30 in the morning while I was still up, and stated very calmly and coherently that you needed them to decorate with, then walked around the kitchen table a couple times, found the box in the dining room, and picked out a multicolor string to take back to bed with you.”

Me: blank stare with ZERO recollection of what the man is saying.

Dad: “I’m surprised you don’t remember, what with it being so important that you just stayed in the altogether when you got out of bed.”

No alcohol or stairs were involved (the house is all one floor). Two things I’m thankful for: that my mother wasn’t also awake to be traumatized by the sight of her young adult son wandering around naked in a trance, and that my father was decent enough never to bring it up again. This would have been around 1999, and I lived to tell about it and have never sleepwalked again as far as I know.

[Anonymous]

I sleep walked a fair amount as a teen. Once I walked out to the phone in the hallway and woke up midway through a conversation with the operator where I was trying to place a call to Australia (I was severely jet lagged, and had just returned from Australia, so wasn’t totally random). Another time I fell asleep downstairs and somehow made it over a 4 ft plywood barrier we had up to keep the dog in the kitchen to make it up to my bed. No recollection.

I no longer sleepwalk but do have really vivid dreams and occasionally talk in my sleep. I’ve also had sleep paralysis which is freaky. Twice I woke up on from a nap on a plane fully conscious but unable to move for a couple minutes.

[Anonymous]

I had a roommate in college who was a sleepwalker. I was awakened in the middle of the night once by her grabbing onto my arm and saying in a really creepy voice, “Get out of my bed.” Her bed was across the room. It was actually pretty terrifying in the moment.

[Anonymous]

My DH has a lot of these. One of the best is that senior year of college he woke up naked in bed with one of the biggest jocks at the school AND his girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a lot of these. One of the best is that senior year of college he woke up naked in bed with one of the biggest jocks at the school AND his girlfriend.

That’s frighteningly hilarious. A few of these stories have involved nudity. If I were a sleepwalker, I would think twice before going to bed with no clothes on!

[Anonymous]

I’ve never sleepwalked, but I have had night terrors and apparently said some ridiculous things.

[Anonymous]

I used to travel for work M-F and I lived in hotels 200+ nights a year. We typically would be at the same hotel weekly for 3 mo to a year, so the staff would get to know us. We also worked long hours and then drank in the hotel bar until it closed most nights.

One of my coworkers wandered out of her room, naked, in the middle of the night thinking she was walking to the bathroom. The door shut and she was in the hallway without her key. The USA Today’s had been put out for the next morning - this was circa 2004-5. She picked one up, held it in front of her body and went to the elevator and called the front desk on the emergency phone. They rescued her with a towel and a new key.

[Anonymous]

I rarely sleep walk but I sleep texted my boss once. I dreamed a client came in but I wasn’t expecting him, so I assumed he was meeting with my boss instead and told him to wait while I let my boss know he had arrived. So in my dream, and in real life, I start texting my boss that a really tall British man was waiting for him, and relayed the dream conversation I had with the client via text.

At some point I started to realize I was dreaming. Did I stop texting? Noooo. I say, mid text, “I think I might be dreaming. I should try to get more sleep now. I don’t know if this guy is real, but if you’re at work you should check and see if there’s a British guy waiting for you.”

He texted back, “ummm, okay” then about 5 minutes later “are you okay?” I was asleep and didn’t see them until morning. On the train to work, I noticed a text from my boss around 2:30 am asking if I was okay. That seemed weird, and slowly became horrified as I read my sleep texts to him. He thought it was hilarious, thank goodness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My now Dh and I met in college when texting was just becoming a thing. We went to different universities and would text throughout the day (which was novel and very cool), but then he'd always sleep text me in the middle of the night.

Some memorable ones:

-Cut the crops and bag the rest
-Ok yes to the elephant
-Stuart said no dice
-Butter straight from the stick

Um… he was selling drugs and got the number wrong a few times.

[Anonymous]

Once on vacation as a kid I was sharing a bed with my sister and I was dreaming about the dog and I woke up petting my sister's head.

OP you might also like the sleeptalkinman blog

[Anonymous]

My child sleepwalks. Once morning she woke up shirtless and I couldn't figure out where the hell she had put it. I finally found it stuffed in a toilet. She had no memory whatsoever.

She regularly wakes up and needs to go pee and many times she walks towards her bedroom, but I always stop her and redirect her to the bathroom. I am curious about what she'd do if I let her go in her bedroom but I don't want to have to clean up pee from her closet or whatever.

[Anonymous]

I slept walked as a kid. The first time it happened I came out of my room and held my empty hands out to my mom, telling her to look at the beautiful flowers. She asked me what color and I told her purple. She works in mental health and got freaked out thinking I had lost my mind.

Another time I walked past her while she was on the phone, and she thought I was going to sleep in my sister’s room because she was being too loud. She checked on me later and found me asleep on the bathroom floor with the shower running.

[Anonymous]

I lived in a 4-bedroom senior apartment in college and had a flatmate who was prone to sleepwalking. One time he got out of bed in the middle of the night and walked out of his room still in the nude, except that he had managed to slip into some shoes. He said he was headed for the library (about a 10-minute walk across campus) to study for a final and would be back later. Thankfully I and another friend were still up to turn him around and lead him back to bed and out of his shoes.