Embarrassing but Humorous Sleepwalking Stories?

[Anonymous]

Any sleepwalkers out there? Any funny stories to go along with it?

[Anonymous]

My family has a long history of sleep weirdness. My favorite story, though, isn’t about sleepwalking specifically. My great-grandfather had three brothers and on occasion one would start singing in their sleep and the other brothers would sing along, harmonizing in their sleep, even from different rooms.

[Anonymous]

There's a funny story Jamie Dornan tells on Graham Norton.

[Anonymous]

Not particularly funny but back in the early 90s when I was in the 7th grade, I spent the night at my sister’s apartment and woke up in the building laundry room down the hall. When I came to I was resting on one of the dryers. I walked back to the apartment and my sister asked what happened. I told her that I had no clue and went back to sleep.

That was 30+ years ago and to this day, I remember it vividly but still can’t figure out the random sleep walking occurrence. It never happened before nor since.

[Anonymous]

Mike Birbiglia can’t be topped on this subject.

[Anonymous]

I once left my dorm room at 2:00 am, traveled down the hall to the communal bathroom, and started a shower in my sleep. I woke up halfway through the shower. It was the weirdest sensation--a combination of dread and confusion. One of my dormmates was sitting in the hall studying when I sleepwalked past. She said I looked very focused and almost angry, but I didn't reply to her when she spoke to me.
My husband says I talk in my sleep about once a week, but it's rarely comprehensible. I did once grab his face and scream when I was dreaming his face fell off. He's always been a little scared of me after that.

[Anonymous]

When i was 18 living at home, i also woke up in the middle of the night and had a shower. After i came out, for whatever reason i looked out the hall window, registered that the newspaper delivery guy was pulling up in his car, so my asleep brain "registered" that it was only 4am and there was no reason to already be up. I didn't really wake up, because the feeling of 'oh i can go back to bed' seemed so normal.

[Anonymous]

When I was 15, I was sleeping over at my best friends house. We were sharing the queen bed in her room. All of a sudden she wakes me and says "MyName, quiet! There's a man in the house". And I was like what are you talking about? And she said "I just heard him and saw his shadow. He's outside the door. Quick- get under the bed!" So I scurry under the bed and I'm like in tears freaking out and she doesn't follow me. So I get back out and ask what she's doing and she doesn't move. I woke her up and she didn't remember any of it.

[Anonymous]

My now Dh and I met in college when texting was just becoming a thing. We went to different universities and would text throughout the day (which was novel and very cool), but then he'd always sleep text me in the middle of the night.

Some memorable ones:

-Cut the crops and bag the rest
-Ok yes to the elephant
-Stuart said no dice
-Butter straight from the stick

[Anonymous]

My teen daughter is a sleepwalker and sleeptalker. We've caught her going downstairs dragging her comforter behind her. She will occasionally wake up and fumble around in her room moving things around on her dresser or desk. Most recently, she appeared at my bedroom door (I sleep separately from DH because of his snoring, thank you very much!) and said hi--this was in the middle of the night and she woke me out of a dead sleep. I think she shaved a number of years off my life because I thought it was an intruder. Sleepwalking is very weird--she always has this glazed look in her eye and isn't looking at you when she's doing these things, so it really creeps me out. Thankfully, we're able to coax her back into bed and then she never remembers any of it the next day.

[Anonymous]

I have vivid dreams but no sleepwalking.

I have screamed profanities and DH "get off me, motherf*cker" "I'm going to kill you" etc and he gets startled but wakes me up enough that I can get out of the dream and not reenter it if I am lucky.

Closest to sleepwalking was when years ago an ex boyfriend woke me because in my sleep, I was straddling him naked, grinding a cookie into his face and repeatedly saying "don't you like it?"

[Anonymous]

During a sleepover at a friend’s house (as a very shy 12 year old) I went into her parents room without knocking in the middle of the night in my t shirt, got a drink of water in their bathroom sink, and wandered out (turning their light on as I went!)

[Anonymous]

Watched a guy walk across a room, lift up the cushion of a wing chair and proceed to pee on the chair. Guess he thought the cushion was the toilet seat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have vivid dreams but no sleepwalking.

I have screamed profanities and DH "get off me, motherf*cker" "I'm going to kill you" etc and he gets startled but wakes me up enough that I can get out of the dream and not reenter it if I am lucky.

Closest to sleepwalking was when years ago an ex boyfriend woke me because in my sleep, I was straddling him naked, grinding a cookie into his face and repeatedly saying "don't you like it?"

Do you keep cookies in your bedside table??

[Anonymous]

My daughter sleepwalks and one of the first times, I heard her walking down the hallway which was odd so I got up to make sure she was OK. She started to put her shoes on and try to unlock the front door to walk out! It’s still haunts me to this day about what would’ve happened if I didn’t hear her. My husband slept through the whole thing.