What makes a wedding registry tacky?

[Anonymous]

Just make sure you have plenty of under $50 gifts on there that are actual gifts and not a single fork or dessert plate, or wine glass. I'm not kidding, I had a friend who had a $60 fork on her registry. A single fork!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When they have no registry and are basically asking for cash.

+1

Which is fune, if they have everything they need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they have no registry and are basically asking for cash.

+1

Which is fune, if they have everything they need.

*fine

[Anonymous]

I always think it’s funny when established couples who make good money put things like a $9.99 target trash can on their registry.

[Anonymous]

Most people do them OP. I like someone's idea to pick things in various price points.

[Anonymous]

I don’t want to buy side tables, lamps, sheets, trash cans, massages so nothing very mundane or too personal or icky. Cash I am fine with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to buy side tables, lamps, sheets, trash cans, massages so nothing very mundane or too personal or icky. Cash I am fine with.

Those examples are kind of crappy because I don't like buying those things either but for my culture giving cash is the ultimate trash move (even though it makes some sense!) so please let me buy you a nice vase or some cutlery.

[Anonymous]

Range of prices is important, so the crazy aunt who will spend $350 doesn't have to buy up all the under $50 items, leaving nothing for those who can only afford $25!

No furniture, cash, or honeymoon $$ (massage, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When they have no registry and are basically asking for cash.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they have no registry and are basically asking for cash.

+1,000,000

But that depends on couples age. For instance my niece had a big engagement party in a country club and that had a big registry. People all bought gifts off the list.

At actually wedding you don’t show up with a gift in a box.

Also most registries people pick a place that allow returns. I recall my cousin returned 1/2 her gifts to get cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to buy side tables, lamps, sheets, trash cans, massages so nothing very mundane or too personal or icky. Cash I am fine with.

Those examples are kind of crappy because I don't like buying those things either but for my culture giving cash is the ultimate trash move (even though it makes some sense!) so please let me buy you a nice vase or some cutlery.

So instead of you giving a check for $400 you buy a vase off a list for $400. Who needs a $400 vase.

[Anonymous]

So sad, I used to love wedding registries but I do think they’re on their way out, just like baby shower registries. Or at least they will change.

I think the safest thing for now is to have a registry with mostly home goods at a range of price points. This is totally cultural because in some regions/communities cash gifts are more normal or whatever. But if you’re going to have a registry, this is the safest way of not offending people if you want to try not to. Otoh who cares, do what you want.

I think if you feel like you have all the home goods you need, having no registry is better than a “honeymoon fund” or something. But I happily contribute to those too. I know the squeamish feeling they give me isn’t really based on any meaningful logic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having a “fund our honeymoon” thing, especially in addition to a full, traditional registry

Especially when they break it down to the specific honeymoon things...like "romantic luxury couples' massage in the cabana ($300)"

Lol we must have the same coworker!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anything and everything. Seriously. You don't deserve presents just because you got married. You did nothing to earn them. It's not an accomplishment like getting a promotion or advanced degree.

But you are inviting people to an expensive party (even if it’s a budget wedding!) and it’s polite for guests to give a gift.
And of course, historically, you were getting married young and the community was helping you set up a household/family which contributed to the couples stability. Which in turn was good for the community.

If your wedding feels so expensive to you that you want to be compensated with expensive presents, it's time for a reevaluation

[Anonymous]

Yes to various price points. And if you are older and have an established household, I love seeing a charity option on people’s registry. My nephew recently asked for cash toward a home renovation, I didn’t mind. But he and his wife are young and in the service industry.

No to things like a Xbox or stereo system. But I had a super dorky cousin who had like $10 board games on his registry and I thought it was cute - very much his personality.

I wouldn’t worry too much OP. Even if people roll your eyes at your registry, they get over it, especially if you throw a good party. Congrats on your wedding!