Blocked my number

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They don’t trust you. The way that you earn trust is good behavior + time. You may have started to engage in good behavior (not drinking), but not enough time has passed. Focus on your recovery and engaging in healthy behaviors. Stop trying to find blame with them and instead focus on what you need to do.

Yes. You don't need to go to AA (it's not for everyone and doesn't always have positive results), but you DO need to work on yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents blocked my number because I called a few times when I had been drinking. I was drinking too much the past 2 years but no longer drink. I am still blocked. To me blocking someone is final. It's basically saying you don't matter we are done with you even if there's an emergency. How do you advise coping with this?

Do you want to talk to a drunk. Nobody blocks a person because they called "a few times" because the person was a little bit high. You block falling down drunk callers. As suggested, therapy.

[Anonymous]

Accept that they do not want to talke to you for a start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t trust you. The way that you earn trust is good behavior + time. You may have started to engage in good behavior (not drinking), but not enough time has passed. Focus on your recovery and engaging in healthy behaviors. Stop trying to find blame with them and instead focus on what you need to do.

Yes. You don't need to go to AA (it's not for everyone and doesn't always have positive results), but you DO need to work on yourself.

Where did I say I blame them?

I was drinking too much and I stopped. I didn't do anything to anyone and the last thing I need is to sit around talking about drinking or "recover.," I was coping with some intensely personal trauma and in a lot of pain and that situation ended. It's that simple. But now I'm blocked. I don't feel the need to prove anything or regain trust when this is my business. The blocking is such an insult it's unforgivable and it's their choice, I don't blame or not blame anyone or anything.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Partner was abusing me. No one cared just got on their high horses about drinking I've escaped from the abuse and quit drinking. It didn't affect anyone else so they are cruel to block me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t trust you. The way that you earn trust is good behavior + time. You may have started to engage in good behavior (not drinking), but not enough time has passed. Focus on your recovery and engaging in healthy behaviors. Stop trying to find blame with them and instead focus on what you need to do.

Yes. You don't need to go to AA (it's not for everyone and doesn't always have positive results), but you DO need to work on yourself.

Where did I say I blame them?

I was drinking too much and I stopped. I didn't do anything to anyone and the last thing I need is to sit around talking about drinking or "recover.," I was coping with some intensely personal trauma and in a lot of pain and that situation ended. It's that simple. But now I'm blocked. I don't feel the need to prove anything or regain trust when this is my business. The blocking is such an insult it's unforgivable and it's their choice, I don't blame or not blame anyone or anything.

Yea, it’s clear why you were blocked. Very good reason with this attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t trust you. The way that you earn trust is good behavior + time. You may have started to engage in good behavior (not drinking), but not enough time has passed. Focus on your recovery and engaging in healthy behaviors. Stop trying to find blame with them and instead focus on what you need to do.

Yes. You don't need to go to AA (it's not for everyone and doesn't always have positive results), but you DO need to work on yourself.

Where did I say I blame them?

I was drinking too much and I stopped. I didn't do anything to anyone and the last thing I need is to sit around talking about drinking or "recover.," I was coping with some intensely personal trauma and in a lot of pain and that situation ended. It's that simple. But now I'm blocked. I don't feel the need to prove anything or regain trust when this is my business. The blocking is such an insult it's unforgivable and it's their choice, I don't blame or not blame anyone or anything.

OP, you haven't done the work. I can tell because you still don't see how your actions (belligerent drunk calling repeatedly) impacted your family. You think it was your business and not theirs, but their reaction - to set boundaries - was the natural consequences of how your behavior affected them. This impact is very much their business.

You also can't say blocking is unforgivable in one breath but you also don't blame them in another.

Go to therapy. Write them a letter taking accountability for your past action. Tell them you would like the chance to rebuild the relationship. Don't say that you think their blocking was "unforgivable" and "such an insult" if you want to be able to call in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t trust you. The way that you earn trust is good behavior + time. You may have started to engage in good behavior (not drinking), but not enough time has passed. Focus on your recovery and engaging in healthy behaviors. Stop trying to find blame with them and instead focus on what you need to do.

Yes. You don't need to go to AA (it's not for everyone and doesn't always have positive results), but you DO need to work on yourself.

Where did I say I blame them?

I was drinking too much and I stopped. I didn't do anything to anyone and the last thing I need is to sit around talking about drinking or "recover.," I was coping with some intensely personal trauma and in a lot of pain and that situation ended. It's that simple. But now I'm blocked. I don't feel the need to prove anything or regain trust when this is my business. The blocking is such an insult it's unforgivable and it's their choice, I don't blame or not blame anyone or anything.

Wildly incorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Partner was abusing me. No one cared just got on their high horses about drinking I've escaped from the abuse and quit drinking. It didn't affect anyone else so they are cruel to block me.

Wrong again. You’re 0 for 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents blocked my number because I called a few times when I had been drinking. I was drinking too much the past 2 years but no longer drink. I am still blocked. To me blocking someone is final. It's basically saying you don't matter we are done with you even if there's an emergency. How do you advise coping with this?

They were saying they weren't going to be treated that way and couldn't trust you handle yourself. Good for you for addressing the drinking issue but you're not the victim here.

[Anonymous]

Give them time. Unfortunately you’re probably going to prove yourself to your parents that you’ve sobered up and no longer drunk dial. Glad you stopped drinking. I was a weekend warrior and drank like a fish. I stopped cold turkey eleven years ago and it’s been life changing (for the better).

If you feel you need to get into a program to help with your sobriety, then do it. Alcohol does not discriminate and you shouldn’t feel ashamed if you feel you need help. Proud of you for stopping drinking. Good luck!

“Every time I was drinking, I was in trouble and every time I’ve was in trouble, I was drinking.”

[Anonymous]

OP, I suggest you be willing to open your ears and listen to what people have to say, including some on DCUM, although you'd probably be best served in therapy or AA.

As the daughter of an alcoholic whose mom said she wished I'd never been born when she was drunk, I'm assuming it's possible that some of the things you said were very hurtful to your parents.

I'm sorry for what you went through with your partner abusing you, that is horrible, and I sincerely hope you get help for that. But know that insisting that you did nothing wrong and your parents are at fault here will not get you far (although some people will believe you and side with you on it, which may fuel your fire).

[Anonymous]

This one of those times on this site where I think...this person can't possibly be real and possibly think this way.

OP, blocking is not final. I'm truly sorry you had personal trauma. There are many other ways to contact your parents. Take responsibility for your own actions and typically in life the rest falls into line. Either things then resolve with people in your life or if they don't, at least you have done your part and have your answer and can move on.

[Anonymous]

As angry as you come across, OP, I wouldn't be surprised if you were still drinking. You need help. This isn't about your number being blocked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I suggest you be willing to open your ears and listen to what people have to say, including some on DCUM, although you'd probably be best served in therapy or AA.

As the daughter of an alcoholic whose mom said she wished I'd never been born when she was drunk, I'm assuming it's possible that some of the things you said were very hurtful to your parents.

I'm sorry for what you went through with your partner abusing you, that is horrible, and I sincerely hope you get help for that. But know that insisting that you did nothing wrong and your parents are at fault here will not get you far (although some people will believe you and side with you on it, which may fuel your fire).

+1

Accept that they blocked you. You can only control yourself so ensure you are doing the work to avoid it ever happening again. We can hurt others even when we ourselves are hurting.

At some point you might reach out by letter and ask to hear how you might have hurt them. Whether you think you did or not, it’s clear they see it that way.
to have a relationship with them will mean non-defensively hearing them out and apologizing.