Mother said something crappy - don’t think I can say anything to her about it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you haven’t reached as strong a place of acceptance of your mother’s flaws and limitations as you wish you had. She’s the stinging scorpion from the story, that comment was par for the course. Time to practice some mindful “letting go” on your part. Hugs.

+1 I completely agree with this.

And ... I think you should use a PP's suggestion about asking for the clothes now and just holding on to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you haven’t reached as strong a place of acceptance of your mother’s flaws and limitations as you wish you had. She’s the stinging scorpion from the story, that comment was par for the course. Time to practice some mindful “letting go” on your part. Hugs.

+1

Sorry OP, I know well how hard it is to have a parent like this. You can’t talk about clothes with someone who has a history of fat shaming you, and especially can’t ask someone like this for a favor of any kind. You walked into this one unfortunately (though of course she is the bad guy here and it’s not your fault - just yet another reminder of what you can’t do or say with her).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're obviously reading a lot into the comment because of your history. But the reality is you're a long way from being able to fit into those clothes and your mom wants to purge now. Would you want to take a bunch of clothes now that you may not be able to wear for a year or so?

As long as she's getting them out of her mom's house, who cares?

OP, couldn't you just deliberately misunderstand her? "Yeah, I might need to have them taken in a year after I have the baby, but 8s would be nice as I transition back to my normal size"

If her mom just wanted them gone she could just donate them. Maybe she had other plans for the clothes. But OP should know her mom well enough to not ask for things or expect something to not have strings attached. I wouldn’t ask someone for cast offs when i had such a strained relationship. And also who wants their moms old clothes? This is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're obviously reading a lot into the comment because of your history. But the reality is you're a long way from being able to fit into those clothes and your mom wants to purge now. Would you want to take a bunch of clothes now that you may not be able to wear for a year or so?

Why not? Will they burst into flames if they hang on a bar in her closet for a year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem extra sensitive. Take the clothes or don’t, but don’t be rude to your mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're obviously reading a lot into the comment because of your history. But the reality is you're a long way from being able to fit into those clothes and your mom wants to purge now. Would you want to take a bunch of clothes now that you may not be able to wear for a year or so?

Plus 1

[Anonymous]

OP I would worry less about why she made the comment and more about your reaction to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're obviously reading a lot into the comment because of your history. But the reality is you're a long way from being able to fit into those clothes and your mom wants to purge now. Would you want to take a bunch of clothes now that you may not be able to wear for a year or so?

Why not? Will they burst into flames if they hang on a bar in her closet for a year?

Her mom’s clothes will just be more out of style. Do you war your mom’s old clothes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're obviously reading a lot into the comment because of your history. But the reality is you're a long way from being able to fit into those clothes and your mom wants to purge now. Would you want to take a bunch of clothes now that you may not be able to wear for a year or so?

OP presumably has a closet and keep it there until she is back to her former size. It was a rude comment. OP is aware she has been pregnant. Would the mom rather it sit for a little while in OPs closet or be sorted at goodwill and sit for a while there or perhaps sit for a while at a consignment shop.

That said, with dyfunctional people it is not worth the cost of accepting anything for free. Better to not expect anything, be distant and polite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're obviously reading a lot into the comment because of your history. But the reality is you're a long way from being able to fit into those clothes and your mom wants to purge now. Would you want to take a bunch of clothes now that you may not be able to wear for a year or so?

OP presumably has a closet and keep it there until she is back to her former size. It was a rude comment. OP is aware she has been pregnant. Would the mom rather it sit for a little while in OPs closet or be sorted at goodwill and sit for a while there or perhaps sit for a while at a consignment shop.

That said, with dyfunctional people it is not worth the cost of accepting anything for free. Better to not expect anything, be distant and polite.

Why does anyone care how long anything sits at Goodwill? The point is that it would be out of my closet if it was me. But if I thought it would go to someone who can use it and wear it I might prefer that. OP may or may not be able to wear the clothes in the future. Maybe her mom just wants to make sure someone can use it. The clothes hers to give away, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks she should do with them.