Do you feel bad when your kid is not invited to birthday parties?

[Anonymous]

No. My kid has always invited only the people they want there and understand other children di the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. My kid has always invited only the people they want there and understand other children di the same.

Such a mean post.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I do, especially when it’s people I’ve understood to be my kid’s friends.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course.

[Anonymous]

It's the end of September, our school hasn't even put out class directories yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It bothered me in K. We were at a focus school and to be honest I just don’t think many kids had parties. Myfriends kids at a wealthier school were always getting invited to parties.

Op here. We are at a wealthy public school. Our preschool had parties all the time. The preschool moms would start all class text chains and coordinate meetups at the playground and we were constantly invited to birthday parties.

Someone has to be the person to start all this. Why don't you?

I organized K playdates over the summer for my kid's school and that's how I met a bunch of moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. My kid has always invited only the people they want there and understand other children di the same.

Such a mean post.

I actually agree and don't find this mean it all.

[Anonymous]

I can’t wait until this birthday party phase is over. Such a giant waste of time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It bothered me in K. We were at a focus school and to be honest I just don’t think many kids had parties. Myfriends kids at a wealthier school were always getting invited to parties.

Op here. We are at a wealthy public school. Our preschool had parties all the time. The preschool moms would start all class text chains and coordinate meetups at the playground and we were constantly invited to birthday parties.

I think this is the issue. Not an issue...but your expectations are your child goes to a wealthy school with a bunch of UMC friends who you either know or assume are having parties all the time, therefore, you should always be invited. This isn't preschool anymore. The expectation of lots of playdates and whole class parties drops off once your child enters elementary school. It shouldn't feel like a personal dig if another kid in class has a birthday party and invites 4 friends and your child isn't one. How do you even know in the first place? But you need to stop taking it personally and teach your child to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Curious if the moms here that are hurt when their child doesn't get invited to a birthday or playdate had social issues as a child. Perhaps as a child you felt like you were being left out of things and had hurt feelings over stuff like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious if the moms here that are hurt when their child doesn't get invited to a birthday or playdate had social issues as a child. Perhaps as a child you felt like you were being left out of things and had hurt feelings over stuff like that?

Of course they did

[Anonymous]

Not in the context you are describing OP. Some child at another school has nothing to do with your child. If you want to have playdates, invite people for playdates.

I have felt bad at times if my child felt bad. Or moments like one I had in elementary where a mom of a girl came up to me and said, Susie wanted to invite John to her party and I just thought that was so sweet. Followed by me coming to understand her daughter was only having girls to her party and my son wasn't invited at all. I just smiled awkwardly. My son was good friends with the girl and felt bad. But oh well. It's over in 5 minutes and life goes on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious if the moms here that are hurt when their child doesn't get invited to a birthday or playdate had social issues as a child. Perhaps as a child you felt like you were being left out of things and had hurt feelings over stuff like that?

I am the OP. I moved around quite a bit as a child. My dad was a grad student and then we moved for his work. I don’t think I ever felt bad. I went to a few. If someone had one and I didn’t know or was not invited, I don’t have any memories of feeling bad.

When I was older and now as an adult, I’m often the one who coordinates the friend birthday dinner so I definitely do not feel bad or left out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It bothered me in K. We were at a focus school and to be honest I just don’t think many kids had parties. Myfriends kids at a wealthier school were always getting invited to parties.

Op here. We are at a wealthy public school. Our preschool had parties all the time. The preschool moms would start all class text chains and coordinate meetups at the playground and we were constantly invited to birthday parties.

Someone has to be the person to start all this. Why don't you?

I organized K playdates over the summer for my kid's school and that's how I met a bunch of moms.

Op here. Class directories just came out and I reached out to a girl my daughter likes in her class. I invited her over.

During preschool, I made little effort, probably because of Covid and other moms were constantly organizing.

[Anonymous]

School hasn’t been in session for even a month yet. Maybe there haven’t been any parties!