Petty Vents Summer 22

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First night we arrive. IL's (MIL, FIL, SIL and 2 kids) have already been there for a few days. FIL says he will order pizza for dinner. Orders ONE pizza for 7 people. 2nd night, declares that he and MIL are going out to dinner alone. SIL makes no move to do anything so I order food for everyone and pay for everyone.
It's not terrible in the grand scheme of things, just so different than my family.

That is bizarre on many levels. Is FIL sick of SIL and her kids? (Not that that would justify him being so rude to you, or even to SIL and her kids, just wondering if he’s already Over It before your crew even arrived.) Good for you for taking control and making sure people are fed, by the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First night we arrive. IL's (MIL, FIL, SIL and 2 kids) have already been there for a few days. FIL says he will order pizza for dinner. Orders ONE pizza for 7 people. 2nd night, declares that he and MIL are going out to dinner alone. SIL makes no move to do anything so I order food for everyone and pay for everyone.
It's not terrible in the grand scheme of things, just so different than my family.

One pizza for 7 people is weird and rude, but I see nothing wrong with FIL and MIL going out for dinner just the two of them. I am not of the opinion that family vacation must mean everyone is together 24/7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First night we arrive. IL's (MIL, FIL, SIL and 2 kids) have already been there for a few days. FIL says he will order pizza for dinner. Orders ONE pizza for 7 people. 2nd night, declares that he and MIL are going out to dinner alone. SIL makes no move to do anything so I order food for everyone and pay for everyone.
It's not terrible in the grand scheme of things, just so different than my family.

One pizza for 7 people is weird and rude, but I see nothing wrong with FIL and MIL going out for dinner just the two of them. I am not of the opinion that family vacation must mean everyone is together 24/7.

To miss the first dinner the night that a new branch of the family arrived was rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s petty. It’s just a vent. Come on in. If you don’t want to contribute, then ease on down the road.

At the beach with ILs, so plenty of material. But at this point, I’m screaming into the pillow because we are ordering dinner tonight, and they are on their fourth restaurant decision, and now are in their 58th deep discussion of whether they can share this or that, or can they order this without that, and what about if they split this and that and maybe saved some for tomorrow’s lunch?

In 3 minutes, I wrote down what we would order for the kids and me whether we ordered from Restaurant Finalist A or Restaurant Finalist B, and then I came upstairs to hide until they actually order. I guarantee they won’t order for another 30 minutes, and then when they do, they will be shocked—SHOCKED—that the pickup time will be an hour because it’s busy.

We always do takeout when it's our turn to provide dinner at the beach house. After several instances like you describe, we stopped asking for any input and just order family-style BBQ, Mediterranean, or Chinese food. We get plenty of food and make sure all dietary needs are covered, but no more individual orders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First night we arrive. IL's (MIL, FIL, SIL and 2 kids) have already been there for a few days. FIL says he will order pizza for dinner. Orders ONE pizza for 7 people. 2nd night, declares that he and MIL are going out to dinner alone. SIL makes no move to do anything so I order food for everyone and pay for everyone.
It's not terrible in the grand scheme of things, just so different than my family.

One pizza for 7 people is weird and rude, but I see nothing wrong with FIL and MIL going out for dinner just the two of them. I am not of the opinion that family vacation must mean everyone is together 24/7.

To miss the first dinner the night that a new branch of the family arrived was rude.

It was the second night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s petty. It’s just a vent. Come on in. If you don’t want to contribute, then ease on down the road.

At the beach with ILs, so plenty of material. But at this point, I’m screaming into the pillow because we are ordering dinner tonight, and they are on their fourth restaurant decision, and now are in their 58th deep discussion of whether they can share this or that, or can they order this without that, and what about if they split this and that and maybe saved some for tomorrow’s lunch?

In 3 minutes, I wrote down what we would order for the kids and me whether we ordered from Restaurant Finalist A or Restaurant Finalist B, and then I came upstairs to hide until they actually order. I guarantee they won’t order for another 30 minutes, and then when they do, they will be shocked—SHOCKED—that the pickup time will be an hour because it’s busy.

We always do takeout when it's our turn to provide dinner at the beach house. After several instances like you describe, we stopped asking for any input and just order family-style BBQ, Mediterranean, or Chinese food. We get plenty of food and make sure all dietary needs are covered, but no more individual orders.

This. Even just sorting take-out with high maintenance people once they finally do place an order is *so* painful. “This can’t possibly be my burger [the only burger ordered] because I definitely asked for provolone and not cheddar.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First night we arrive. IL's (MIL, FIL, SIL and 2 kids) have already been there for a few days. FIL says he will order pizza for dinner. Orders ONE pizza for 7 people. 2nd night, declares that he and MIL are going out to dinner alone. SIL makes no move to do anything so I order food for everyone and pay for everyone.
It's not terrible in the grand scheme of things, just so different than my family.

Ugh my ILs under-order, too. Last time we visited them at their rented beach condo for the day (we were staying elsewhere) MIL picked up sandwiches for lunch - three sandwiches for 5 people - with the expectation that we'd each split a sandwich. I'm not talking about giant footlong hoagies, either, just regular deli sandwiches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s petty. It’s just a vent. Come on in. If you don’t want to contribute, then ease on down the road.

At the beach with ILs, so plenty of material. But at this point, I’m screaming into the pillow because we are ordering dinner tonight, and they are on their fourth restaurant decision, and now are in their 58th deep discussion of whether they can share this or that, or can they order this without that, and what about if they split this and that and maybe saved some for tomorrow’s lunch?

In 3 minutes, I wrote down what we would order for the kids and me whether we ordered from Restaurant Finalist A or Restaurant Finalist B, and then I came upstairs to hide until they actually order. I guarantee they won’t order for another 30 minutes, and then when they do, they will be shocked—SHOCKED—that the pickup time will be an hour because it’s busy.

We always do takeout when it's our turn to provide dinner at the beach house. After several instances like you describe, we stopped asking for any input and just order family-style BBQ, Mediterranean, or Chinese food. We get plenty of food and make sure all dietary needs are covered, but no more individual orders.

This. Even just sorting take-out with high maintenance people once they finally do place an order is *so* painful. “This can’t possibly be my burger [the only burger ordered] because I definitely asked for provolone and not cheddar.”

This and also the people who just order an entree on their dime, but when somebody else is treating they tack on an app and a dessert too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s petty. It’s just a vent. Come on in. If you don’t want to contribute, then ease on down the road.

At the beach with ILs, so plenty of material. But at this point, I’m screaming into the pillow because we are ordering dinner tonight, and they are on their fourth restaurant decision, and now are in their 58th deep discussion of whether they can share this or that, or can they order this without that, and what about if they split this and that and maybe saved some for tomorrow’s lunch?

In 3 minutes, I wrote down what we would order for the kids and me whether we ordered from Restaurant Finalist A or Restaurant Finalist B, and then I came upstairs to hide until they actually order. I guarantee they won’t order for another 30 minutes, and then when they do, they will be shocked—SHOCKED—that the pickup time will be an hour because it’s busy.

We always do takeout when it's our turn to provide dinner at the beach house. After several instances like you describe, we stopped asking for any input and just order family-style BBQ, Mediterranean, or Chinese food. We get plenty of food and make sure all dietary needs are covered, but no more individual orders.

This. Even just sorting take-out with high maintenance people once they finally do place an order is *so* painful. “This can’t possibly be my burger [the only burger ordered] because I definitely asked for provolone and not cheddar.”

This and also the people who just order an entree on their dime, but when somebody else is treating they tack on an app and a dessert too.

Oh this is my MIL. Once it is established that we are treating, she stops all talk of wanting to “split an entree” and goes the full meal deal. And no, they aren’t on a fixed income or anything. She makes much of eating like a bird but actually eats every bite of a full 3 course and gets a cocktail and suggests bottles of wine if others are paying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First night we arrive. IL's (MIL, FIL, SIL and 2 kids) have already been there for a few days. FIL says he will order pizza for dinner. Orders ONE pizza for 7 people. 2nd night, declares that he and MIL are going out to dinner alone. SIL makes no move to do anything so I order food for everyone and pay for everyone.
It's not terrible in the grand scheme of things, just so different than my family.

Ugh my ILs under-order, too. Last time we visited them at their rented beach condo for the day (we were staying elsewhere) MIL picked up sandwiches for lunch - three sandwiches for 5 people - with the expectation that we'd each split a sandwich. I'm not talking about giant footlong hoagies, either, just regular deli sandwiches.

MIL does the same. I’m so tired of hearing her exclaim how huge every single food item is. A lot of the time, it’s just a regular portion. She inevitably eats the whole thing and then complains about how we should have shared. I don’t want to share, ever. We will also make a plan to order and then she suddenly starts talking about how we should just eat something from the pantry. No thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First night we arrive. IL's (MIL, FIL, SIL and 2 kids) have already been there for a few days. FIL says he will order pizza for dinner. Orders ONE pizza for 7 people. 2nd night, declares that he and MIL are going out to dinner alone. SIL makes no move to do anything so I order food for everyone and pay for everyone.
It's not terrible in the grand scheme of things, just so different than my family.

Ugh my ILs under-order, too. Last time we visited them at their rented beach condo for the day (we were staying elsewhere) MIL picked up sandwiches for lunch - three sandwiches for 5 people - with the expectation that we'd each split a sandwich. I'm not talking about giant footlong hoagies, either, just regular deli sandwiches.

MIL does the same. I’m so tired of hearing her exclaim how huge every single food item is. A lot of the time, it’s just a regular portion. She inevitably eats the whole thing and then complains about how we should have shared. I don’t want to share, ever. We will also make a plan to order and then she suddenly starts talking about how we should just eat something from the pantry. No thanks!

My MIL is like this! Just tonight at dinner she went on and on about how her husband gave her way too much spaghetti…she ate it all and an extra piece of garlic bread and dessert but honestly yapped about the portion size for 10 minutes.

[Anonymous]

My ILs overorder, by a lot. It’s wasteful and encourages everyone to overeat. Decisions about where to order from take forever, but luckily discussions start early in the day so the timing still works out. My parents over-order too but are much better about eating leftovers and not ordering multiple nights in a row and mix in meals that combine cooked foods and leftover takeout. I like to think I strike a balance between cooking and ordering in an appropriate amount of food. At least when it comes to ordering for me and the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP with an update: by the time they decided, the first restaurant they called no longer does carryout, and the line was continuously busy and they couldn’t get through, because it was after *6:30 p.m.,* and they tried to blame it on the restaurant. So we had scant leftovers from last night. I told them that when we order tomorrow, all orders will be written down on a list by 5:30 p.m., and I’m calling. If it’s not on the list, it doesn’t get ordered and I’m assuming you are eating a bowl of cereal or a sandwich from the fridge.

And tell them which restaurant you’ll be ordering from. No discussions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First night we arrive. IL's (MIL, FIL, SIL and 2 kids) have already been there for a few days. FIL says he will order pizza for dinner. Orders ONE pizza for 7 people. 2nd night, declares that he and MIL are going out to dinner alone. SIL makes no move to do anything so I order food for everyone and pay for everyone.
It's not terrible in the grand scheme of things, just so different than my family.

One pizza for 7 people is weird and rude, but I see nothing wrong with FIL and MIL going out for dinner just the two of them. I am not of the opinion that family vacation must mean everyone is together 24/7.

To miss the first dinner the night that a new branch of the family arrived was rude.

It was the second night.

Even if it were the first night, who cares it’s vacation loosen up. I think this person wins the thread. This has got to be the most petty non-issue thing to be annoyed about.

[Anonymous]

Just order a few pizzas and salads. No discussion necessary.