My DH just snapped at me for “breathing on his face.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you completely unaware that he has anxiety and/or ADHD?

Impressive diagnosis, internet doctor!

He actually does have ADHD , and gets over stimulated frequently. That’s fine but that doesn’t excuse being a dick. - OP

Please understand breath on our neck makes our flesh crawl and send us through the roof. We can't help it. It's like getting pinched hard. It makes us jump. Sorry we are like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you completely unaware that he has anxiety and/or ADHD?

Impressive diagnosis, internet doctor!

He actually does have ADHD , and gets over stimulated frequently. That’s fine but that doesn’t excuse being a dick. - OP

Please understand breath on our neck makes our flesh crawl and send us through the roof. We can't help it. It's like getting pinched hard. It makes us jump. Sorry we are like this.

“breathing our our necks makes”…”and sends us”

Writing like a child make us annoyed and send us through the roof. We can’t help it.

[Anonymous]

What did he actually say? Did he call you a name or yell? It’s always ok to voice your feelings if you don’t like how someone acts. But if he just sort of flinched or jumped in the air he really can’t help that, even if it’s annoying. My kid with ADHD is super reactive and I’m definitely starting to wonder about my DH so you are not alone…..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Per his request, I was standing over shoulder and scratching his neck/shoulders. I moved to show him something funny on my phone and while he was looking, I exhaled through my nose and evidently breathed on his face, which is unacceptable. I think that’s utterly insane.
That’s it. That’s the post.

He was rude. Wiuld he say that to another person?

[Anonymous]

I hate being breathed on. But your DH was rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know this is not about breathing, right? By the time someone snaps, there has been some sort of build-up that caused the person to "explode".

I think this is a sign to sit down and have a serious conversation; check in with him and have a talk about happiness and where you both stand in the relationship.

I would tend to agree, OP. Everyone had a lot of together time over the course of the pandemic. The mental health side is going to go on for much longer than the virus itself. My DH and I had several cathartic conversations this weekend and I think we have a future, but I was questioning it for a while as he had distanced himself in ways that made me feel abandoned. But you have to have that conversation first. It took a while for me to be able to have a productive discussion - it was prompted by a family get together, just some things that happened that made it all come out. Try to talk about how you worry about what's going on and how you love him. I ended up pulling up a photo of my DH when he gave me flowers on our anniversary a few years ago. It is the sweetest expression on his face - loving and wanting to please me. This past year - no flowers. Anyway, I showed him that photo and told him I miss that guy. It helped a lot to show him what I long for, and something that was positive about him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know this is not about breathing, right? By the time someone snaps, there has been some sort of build-up that caused the person to "explode".

I think this is a sign to sit down and have a serious conversation; check in with him and have a talk about happiness and where you both stand in the relationship.

This is so darn true! 👍🏽