My DH just snapped at me for “breathing on his face.”

[Anonymous]

Per his request, I was standing over shoulder and scratching his neck/shoulders. I moved to show him something funny on my phone and while he was looking, I exhaled through my nose and evidently breathed on his face, which is unacceptable. I think that’s utterly insane.
That’s it. That’s the post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Per his request, I was standing over shoulder and scratching his neck/shoulders. I moved to show him something funny on my phone and while he was looking, I exhaled through my nose and evidently breathed on his face, which is unacceptable. I think that’s utterly insane.
That’s it. That’s the post.

Maybe he likes a bit more personal space? Seems weird but that's all I got.

[Anonymous]

You know this is not about breathing, right? By the time someone snaps, there has been some sort of build-up that caused the person to "explode".

I think this is a sign to sit down and have a serious conversation; check in with him and have a talk about happiness and where you both stand in the relationship.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry I said that, honey. But your breath stinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry I said that, honey. But your breath stinks.

Good try but the OP says the exhale was through the nose.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he was really stressed, hence the request for a shoulder scratch, and then, instead of just doing that you stick a phone in his face a breathed on him, and that was annoying?

If he likes getting his back scratched, though, he should have just moved away and said "Oh, this is really helping me relax. Can you show me that meme later?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he was really stressed, hence the request for a shoulder scratch, and then, instead of just doing that you stick a phone in his face a breathed on him, and that was annoying?

If he likes getting his back scratched, though, he should have just moved away and said "Oh, this is really helping me relax. Can you show me that meme later?"

When people say things like this I can never tell if they're conditioned to excuse anything because they're being abused or they're just abusers themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Per his request, I was standing over shoulder and scratching his neck/shoulders. I moved to show him something funny on my phone and while he was looking, I exhaled through my nose and evidently breathed on his face, which is unacceptable. I think that’s utterly insane.
That’s it. That’s the post.

And that was the last shoulder rub he ever got. The end.

[Anonymous]

So you we're giving him a back rub and he got snappy? No more back rubs for him. I would also shut down access to my private areas.

[Anonymous]

Are you completely unaware that he has anxiety and/or ADHD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you completely unaware that he has anxiety and/or ADHD?

Impressive diagnosis, internet doctor!

[Anonymous]

you are like my DH. He close breathes pr close talks me omg. I need 2 feet of personal space!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you completely unaware that he has anxiety and/or ADHD?

Impressive diagnosis, internet doctor!

He actually does have ADHD , and gets over stimulated frequently. That’s fine but that doesn’t excuse being a dick. - OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you completely unaware that he has anxiety and/or ADHD?

Impressive diagnosis, internet doctor!

He actually does have ADHD , and gets over stimulated frequently. That’s fine but that doesn’t excuse being a dick. - OP

No one said it excused it. But why you’re running to the internet when you damn well know what happened and triggered him is beyond me. I’m literally sitting in the same room with my niece who has ADHD right now; I don’t expect typical behavior out of an atypical kid. And I don’t expect typical behavior out of an adult who does their best with ADHD or anxiety or what have you and fails sometimes.

It’s fine to rightfully feel he was rude to you and to tell him that was unacceptable and ask for an apology. It’s not fine to play wah wah wah on the Internet when you *know what is going on,* dummy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he was really stressed, hence the request for a shoulder scratch, and then, instead of just doing that you stick a phone in his face a breathed on him, and that was annoying?

If he likes getting his back scratched, though, he should have just moved away and said "Oh, this is really helping me relax. Can you show me that meme later?"

When people say things like this I can never tell if they're conditioned to excuse anything because they're being abused or they're just abusers themselves.