Conflict over whether to keep puppy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you went out and got yourself a designer dog instead of adopting, and now you don't want it. Congrats, you'll get your refund! It's like returning a pair of jeans after you decide you don't like how they fit you.

Return the dog. The breeder will find another family to spend their money. And the dog will be happier with a family who will love it. It's not the dog's fault that he's a purebread. Here's to his bright and happy future!

Omg, get a grip. OP is being responsible here. We’re talking about a young puppy who hasn’t been through any trauma. The breeder will find the dog a new home and the dog will do great. OP would clearly NOT have been a good candidate for “adopting” a dog. A pit or hound mix puppy would be a bad choice for them. An older dog with an unknown history would be a bad choice for them, and every “rehome” for a dog like that is much more stressful for the dog.

I’m on my third rescue dog, a senior. It was a good choice for me. But the second you feel self righteous or virtuous about it, you’ve lost the plot. I have very, very mixed feelings about the market for poorly bred pit mix puppies from the South that the “rescue is better” mentality has created locally. I am not at all sure that installing those puppies in the burbs of the Northeast is the right way to address the problem of strays and irresponsible breeding in the South.

I disagree and will leave it at that. But I do agree she needs to return the dog. The poor thing.

[Anonymous]

OP,

How old is the puppy, and what sort of environment did it come from?

I've fostered many puppies, some from birth, and have never had one that did not like to cuddle, and wasn't affectionate. However sometimes the transition to a new home is a little hard on a puppy, and they react by being feisty. That is not a concern, apart from the necessary training you need to engage in several times a day, every day (yes, you read that right).

The other possibility is that you got this puppy from a puppy mill situation or a well-intentioned but uninformed breeder, and that the puppy has sadly not been adequately socialized in the first weeks of his life, or that he's been forced to compete for food with his siblings in a psychologically damaging way. If the puppy has lived in unloving and competitive conditions and it's now an older puppy, you will have a hard time getting him to unlearn these behaviors. If it's a young puppy, your job will be much easier.

So more details would help.

[Anonymous]

10:19 - I assume you got it from a breeder (remember: the slicker the website, the more chances it's actually a puppy mill!), but you might have landed yourself a rescue puppy that's not been well cared for either. I happen to take a lot of time and effort to socialize and train the puppies I foster, but not everyone has the time or inclination...

[Anonymous]

OP do you have kids? Are they attached to the puppy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Researched and prepared for a new puppy and was very much on same page with entire family for getting a dog. Have had her now for 2 weeks and it is clear that I am not cut out to be a puppy parent. We are able to return the puppy for a full refund however DH very much likes this puppy and therefore we are in disagreement over keeping it. I don’t enjoy the dogs personality which is dominant and borderline aggressive, not warm or playful at all. DH was expecting to be and is the primary caretaker of the dog so this is not a resentment over responsibility imbalance. I am trying to like the puppy and definitely helping out. The longer we stay with this dog the more DH gets attached and the more I resent the dog (not my DH).

Any experience with this?

Also I understand collectively that people on this board have tremendous experience with animals. Please do not scream at me, I am being as objective as possible.

Will your husband resent you if you force him to give back the puppy? Two weeks isn't that long to get adjusted either you or the puppy. Is it from a breeder? What kind?

[Anonymous]

DH is attached to the puppy. More so every day.

How can you return the puppy without his agreement?

[Anonymous]

Is puppy warm and playful to DH? Dogs will pick favorites. What do you mean by dominant/borderline aggressive? I’d personally seek out a puppy party (your dog’s friend in Rockville) or any other trainer hosted play group and see what they think of temperament. I have an anxious dog and it is a lot of work, but worth it to me. It may be a different personality dog will work better for you, but I think you need an expert to see if all is normal behavior or truly dominant (which most trainers will tell you isn’t really a thing). Give the puppy lots of treats or kibble from you to build the bond.

[Anonymous]

I begged my husband for us to return our puppy for the first 2 months we had him. I cannot imagine life without him now and every challenge has been worth it 100x over. Food for thought.

[Anonymous]

Puppy parent, lol. Also some of you are psychos. If she wants to return the dog, she should return the dog. Dogs aren’t people despite what some of you may think.

[Anonymous]

We got a puppy in the fall. It was not my idea but I did agree to it and help choose the dog (from a rescue).

I WFH so I’m home with her all day, so I had the bulk of the PITA part for the first few months. She’s big, so I did the training classes with her, and practiced, trained her to sit at every intersection when we walk so it’s easier when we’re walking with the kids, who are very young. She is primarily bonded to me and sleeping at my feet now.

My DH loves her, the kids love her, my mom loves her. She is a sweet dog. She is well trained, gentle with the kids (even my insane 3 yo who is incredibly fast and has no healthy caution around animals), doesn’t chew our stuff. She doesn’t even chew the kids stuffed animals when they’re left on the floor. She is a good dog and definitely part of the family.

I still wish we didn’t have her. I mean, if it was my choice, we wouldn’t have a dog. But I don’t resent her or actively want to rehome her the way I did 6 months ago.

[Anonymous]

You are very much in the weeds. The puppy blues are real and I had it hard about a week into having my dog. It was mainly the side effects of serious sleep deprivation for me but I really thought the world was ending and that getting my puppy was the worst decision I'd never made in my life.

It gets better, it really does. My dog is the best now and is basically my entire life. I adore her in every way.

If the puppy is not being playful and loving you with you, honestly, it's probably feeding off your dislike for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Puppy parent, lol. Also some of you are psychos. If she wants to return the dog, she should return the dog. Dogs aren’t people despite what some of you may think.

I’m guessing just returning the dog is going cause marital issues if her DH is not on board.

[Anonymous]

Oh geez - we felt the same way as you after adopting our 13 week old puppy. And we thought having kids was hard, LOL. What a pain in the butt. The mess, the waking up in the middle of the night, the whining, the nipping, the needle teeth.

Then it just gets better. We're at about a year now and things calm down and become normal and when she puts her little head on me or snuggles it all seems worth it.

Although it is still annoying to have the expensive vet bills or to pay for walkers and babysitters if we go away and she needs to be looked after for a weekend or whatever.

But so so worth it. My DH was more like you, and now he loves the dog and is all gaga over her

[Anonymous]

I had similar experiences except that my son begged for it during the pandemic and I got my puppy mainly for my son’s mental health. I was afraid of dogs at first, but now I am my dogs favorite person second only to my son. Now she is almost 2 years old, all her bad behaviors are almost gone (chewing, barking, nipping, accidents, pulling). My son also becomes more patient and less anxious. So, it will get better and your hard work will pay off.

[Anonymous]

How much research did you do? Puppies are WORK. Did you think you were bringing home a playful ball of fur?

You researched and agreed to the dog. Your dh does most of the work and is attached. You don't get to just return it. Work your way through it. If the dog is aggressive get your dh to look into training classes. Puppies need to be taught how to behave.