Conflict over whether to keep puppy

[Anonymous]

Researched and prepared for a new puppy and was very much on same page with entire family for getting a dog. Have had her now for 2 weeks and it is clear that I am not cut out to be a puppy parent. We are able to return the puppy for a full refund however DH very much likes this puppy and therefore we are in disagreement over keeping it. I don’t enjoy the dogs personality which is dominant and borderline aggressive, not warm or playful at all. DH was expecting to be and is the primary caretaker of the dog so this is not a resentment over responsibility imbalance. I am trying to like the puppy and definitely helping out. The longer we stay with this dog the more DH gets attached and the more I resent the dog (not my DH).

Any experience with this?

Also I understand collectively that people on this board have tremendous experience with animals. Please do not scream at me, I am being as objective as possible.

[Anonymous]

No one is cut out to be a puppy parent. Puppies are an insane amount of work. Even a new adult dog is a lot of stress.

If you want a dog, you have to go through this. There is no other way. The good news is that having a pet dog is so worth it. Dogs give so much love that is unlike any other kind of love. It will be a real addition to your kids' childhood experience and your entire family.

I've tried to give away a dog I adopted. I was stupidly honest tho so no one would take the dog! I ended up with the BEST dog on the planet. So glad I couldn't get any takers early on.

Huge PITA -- yes.
Worth it -- yes.

[Anonymous]

If you are not on board, do not keep the dog. You will be signing up for years and years of resentment. The dog deserves a family that loves it.

[Anonymous]

I’d keep the dog bc you said your husband and the primary caretaker. Your puppy has little to no training and is likely just behaving like a puppy (mouthing, running, chewing, chasing). Stay on top of training and setting boundaries and s/he will start to chill out at 6 months.

[Anonymous]

It's a kind of buyers remorse. the puppy months are not easy, messes on the floor, correcting behavior, being woken at night.

You just get through it, like with kids and then come out of the other side.

Saying the pup is borderline aggressive may be that it is trying to play? Do you actually play with the dog (tug, catch etc) and exercise it?

[Anonymous]

What breed?

[Anonymous]

This is very much a pet positive board, OP. Don’t keep an animal you don’t want. Everyone has to be on board to add to the family.

[Anonymous]

Op what breed? What is she doing that is dominant and aggressive? We have a 5 month old puppy so I can compare

[Anonymous]

OP, how people approach dog behavior has changed since we were kids. They don't really talk about dominant behavior any more, but to creating value in your relationship with the puppy. You want the puppy to be attached to you so they like you and want to listen, not responding because the puppy fears you and thinks you're dominant. Does the puppy like you? If not you've done something wrong.

We have a puppy and have found the videos from McCann dog training on YouTube to be very good. They have a whole puppy series. I suspect that you need some training as a dog owner, even if your husband is primary. You'll still need to transition any training from your husband to you so the dog will listen to you too.

If you won't do the work, then your husband should give up the dog. It's not fair to anyone. But you also should have had this conversation before getting a puppy. Regardless of breed they all require training and work. Puppies are an investment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Researched and prepared for a new puppy and was very much on same page with entire family for getting a dog. Have had her now for 2 weeks and it is clear that I am not cut out to be a puppy parent. We are able to return the puppy for a full refund however DH very much likes this puppy and therefore we are in disagreement over keeping it. I don’t enjoy the dogs personality which is dominant and borderline aggressive, not warm or playful at all. DH was expecting to be and is the primary caretaker of the dog so this is not a resentment over responsibility imbalance. I am trying to like the puppy and definitely helping out. The longer we stay with this dog the more DH gets attached and the more I resent the dog (not my DH).

Any experience with this?

Also I understand collectively that people on this board have tremendous experience with animals. Please do not scream at me, I am being as objective as possible.

What do you mean by this? Can you elaborate? What kind of training have you started doing (yes you should start right away, but have realistic expectations that it will take a long time for the dog to be well trained)?

Puppies are way too much work, so we adopted a dog estimated to be 2 years old - he's probably a little younger than that and he's still very puppy like. It's alot of work. It will also get easier.

[Anonymous]

Puppies are a lot of work! There's a syndrome called the Puppy Blues, I went through it when I adopted my dog. It can be a tough adjustment and your dog still has a year or two of maturing ahead of it, depending on the breed. Can you join a puppy class so you can help put your dog's behavior into context? If your puppy is aggressive, the trainers will recognize it and can help you with a plan to socialize your dog safely. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Did you grow up with pets? I did not and it did take me longer to love our new dog. She was very playful and easy to love..
If you can't see any positives to having the dog, then I would say rehome. Pets aren't always easy, but the upside is worth it.

[Anonymous]

So you went out and got yourself a designer dog instead of adopting, and now you don't want it. Congrats, you'll get your refund! It's like returning a pair of jeans after you decide you don't like how they fit you.

Return the dog. The breeder will find another family to spend their money. And the dog will be happier with a family who will love it. It's not the dog's fault that he's a purebread. Here's to his bright and happy future!

[Anonymous]

I would definitely say return it. The puppy is too young to really have a personality, and all puppies are a huge PITA. But everyone needs to want to have a dog. You’re not a dog person, and that’s totally okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you went out and got yourself a designer dog instead of adopting, and now you don't want it. Congrats, you'll get your refund! It's like returning a pair of jeans after you decide you don't like how they fit you.

Return the dog. The breeder will find another family to spend their money. And the dog will be happier with a family who will love it. It's not the dog's fault that he's a purebread. Here's to his bright and happy future!

Omg, get a grip. OP is being responsible here. We’re talking about a young puppy who hasn’t been through any trauma. The breeder will find the dog a new home and the dog will do great. OP would clearly NOT have been a good candidate for “adopting” a dog. A pit or hound mix puppy would be a bad choice for them. An older dog with an unknown history would be a bad choice for them, and every “rehome” for a dog like that is much more stressful for the dog.

I’m on my third rescue dog, a senior. It was a good choice for me. But the second you feel self righteous or virtuous about it, you’ve lost the plot. I have very, very mixed feelings about the market for poorly bred pit mix puppies from the South that the “rescue is better” mentality has created locally. I am not at all sure that installing those puppies in the burbs of the Northeast is the right way to address the problem of strays and irresponsible breeding in the South.