Help. At a loss as to how to handle this camp situation.

[Anonymous]

OP

Does your kid know about the birds and the bees?
Have you discussed contraception?

The time to do that is now. Stop freaking out she's fine.

Sounds like you have a great kid.

Please drop this with her and definitely call the camp or email. The supervision was lacking.

But you did send her to a coed camp just make sure she is prepared. She did nothing wrong.

By the way "gifted" kids have sex too. LOL.

[Anonymous]

It sounds fairly innocent and it was a group situation, it's not like they had an actual orgy or went off in pairs to have sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you choose a camp with mixed bunking? That’s a recipe for trouble.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you choose a camp with mixed bunking? That’s a recipe for trouble.

This

Yep. Lesson learned. I was naive but will not be anymore. I have emailed the director an am awaiting a response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good question. I suppose I would like an apology, and I would like their awareness this occurred (I do not even know if the directors know?) so that I does not happen again.

Just send an email to the director. I'm sure they'll apologize.


I'm not sure this is as big a deal as you think it was. A bunch of kids outside a cabin in sleeping bags is maybe poor judgment but what are we upset about, some making out? I don't think there's ever been a camp with 14 year olds where they don't make out. Especially the "gifted" ones. But this is probably something they shouldn't have done and maybe they'll fire whoever approved it. As if that will make a difference.

You sound pretty wound up about it so I think you need to think that through as well. It sounds like your kid was fine and made good choices, which is the main point. If she's 14, there's no way to stop her from being around kids who "canoodle" and "spoon" and give each other hand jobs and everything else. I don't think it's healthy to be "emotionally spent" about it.

+10000

+1. Teenagers can do far more at home in their basements when other teens come over without a camp counselor hovering. As your child gets older there will be more situations where she’s overnight with other teens and she’s not far off from college. I don’t think it’s wrong to flag it to the camp if you feel they have been neglectful in some way but I’m not sure why you felt the need to go over this again and again with your daughter. Hopefully you’ve equipped her with a sense of what she would want to do in this type of situation and the confidence to seek help from an adult if there’s something truly amiss.

[Anonymous]

Just a note that you shouldn’t expect that this kind of stuff won’t happen at a stem campz. I went to CTY growing up and I remember hearing that a few years after I graduated out that someone got pregnant. Could you imagine sending your kid to nerd camp and her returning pregnant?

[Anonymous]

You want an apology? I would inform the supervisors, let them know it wasn't something you expected to be allowed and would not have approved. Not sure how much you can believe that opposite sex kids were snuggling, but the camp should know that the situation allows that to be speculated. Not sure why an apology even figures into it.

[Anonymous]

i would recommend that sleepaway camps don't do mixed bunking. however there may be confusion w/ the whole gender fluid thing going on

[Anonymous]

I was an overnight camp counselor for years and this strikes me as really inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a note that you shouldn’t expect that this kind of stuff won’t happen at a stem campz. I went to CTY growing up and I remember hearing that a few years after I graduated out that someone got pregnant. Could you imagine sending your kid to nerd camp and her returning pregnant?

That would make a really good teen novel or Netflix movie

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a note that you shouldn’t expect that this kind of stuff won’t happen at a stem campz. I went to CTY growing up and I remember hearing that a few years after I graduated out that someone got pregnant. Could you imagine sending your kid to nerd camp and her returning pregnant?

“This one time at band camp…”

[Anonymous]

You can absolutely expect that even gifted, responsible teenagers will sneak off to spoon, canoodle, and more, given the opportunity.

Most camps (and other supervised teenage situations) make a token effort to prevent it, at least in part to prevent potential rapes/assaults/etc., but that effort is often pretty token.

Opposite genders sharing a sleeping bag might be something that parents disapprove of, but it's normal and healthy teen behavior. It doesn't sound like anyone was being coerced, so while inappropriate, it doesn't sound like something to freak out over.

OP, complaining is certainly valid -- it doesn't show good judgment on the part of the counselors -- but why do you feel the need to go over this repeatedly with your child? What are you actually discussing? Might be worth exploring your anxieties with a therapist.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of the outward bound trip I took in high school where I had my first sexual experience. In a sleeping bag, on the ground, not even in a tent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was an overnight camp counselor for years and this strikes me as really inappropriate.

FWIW, I was also a sleepaway camp counselor and one of the camps where I worked (a religious camp!) had the following rule:

Under 14: Standing Hugging and Kissing with All Clothes On (SHACK-WACKO)

14 and Over: Hugging and Kissing with All Clothes On (HACK-WACKO)

So, as long as kids were wearing clothes, what happened at OP's camp would have been fine!

[Anonymous]

You can absolutely expect that even gifted, responsible teenagers will sneak off to spoon, canoodle, and more, given the opportunity.

THIS.

OP - what age did you think your child would be when she first started kissing? Does 14 feel too young to you?

It seems pretty on point to me.