Why do some people decide to make fun of others?

[Anonymous]

They may only be pretending to be ok with it. I bet you and your family have a lot of people who you have hurt in your "fun." Why not stick to self deprecation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They may only be pretending to be ok with it. I bet you and your family have a lot of people who you have hurt in your "fun." Why not stick to self deprecation?

+1

When I’m around people who behave this way, I smile and say nothing and then get away from them.

I grew up in a family like this and it was actually really unhealthy. People didn’t know how to offer true emotional support, only how to tease and make light of things. It became very problematic when individuals were struggling with something real. People had no skills to deal with a family member’s PPD, or burn out at work, or marital problems that led to divorce (a divorce caused in part due to inability to stop joking and be real and genuine and vulnerable).

Yes, even when it’s a family behavior, it’s covering for insecurity. Maybe especially then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It gives their brain a dopamine hit for whatever reason.

This.

[Anonymous]

They mistake it for being witty. It's not. Many people may pretend to be amused but they're inwardly embarrassed for them.

[Anonymous]

I think it's like venting, dealing with people who really bug you and get on your nerves, for whatever reason, making fun of them helps ease that horrible feeling they give you.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes it is very witty and very funny. I’d far rather someone make light fun of me to me than the alternative which seems to be those “deep” faux-concerned conversations with mutual friends.

[Anonymous]

Look at comedians! Making-fun-done-right can be incredibly funny.

It’s all about the intent.

[Anonymous]

Depends completely on the circumstances.

Making fun of me for always rushing and having too much energy (and FOMO) is fine. Making fun of my daughter because she has one leg (lost other leg to bone cancer) is clearly not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They may only be pretending to be ok with it. I bet you and your family have a lot of people who you have hurt in your "fun." Why not stick to self deprecation?

+1

When I’m around people who behave this way, I smile and say nothing and then get away from them.

I grew up in a family like this and it was actually really unhealthy. People didn’t know how to offer true emotional support, only how to tease and make light of things. It became very problematic when individuals were struggling with something real. People had no skills to deal with a family member’s PPD, or burn out at work, or marital problems that led to divorce (a divorce caused in part due to inability to stop joking and be real and genuine and vulnerable).

Yes, even when it’s a family behavior, it’s covering for insecurity. Maybe especially then.

I'm the PP you're criticizing. I've seen your type of commentary before on DCUM, and I'm not sure we're talking about the same thing. People who make jokes are usually the opposite of what you describe: they have a lot of empathy, feel people's pain and try to lift their mood with laughter. Sometimes it's very wry laughter in very sad situations.

We're not talking about hurting people for fun. We love watching stand-up comics, and my kids appreciate that kind of vibe. We have a strong bond, and they're not afraid to tell me stuff, so if they felt uncomfortable with someone's jokes, they'd tell me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cause it’s fun and the ideas just flood into my brain. It’s not like I have to work hard to think of it.

What’s fun about making other people feel bad?

[Anonymous]

There are some cruel people out there, and it doesn’t make any sense to those of us who aren’t that way.

Total strangers have frequently made fun of me or insulted me for no reason. My best guess is that mean people can tell who will be hurt by them and who will be able to brush it off. So I’ve worked hard at trying not to care.

[Anonymous]

There are two types of making fun-behind people's backs which is funny, and to their faces which is mean. Everyone feels insecure about something. It's fun to notice other people are not perfect either. It's about being human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They may only be pretending to be ok with it. I bet you and your family have a lot of people who you have hurt in your "fun." Why not stick to self deprecation?

+1

When I’m around people who behave this way, I smile and say nothing and then get away from them.

I grew up in a family like this and it was actually really unhealthy. People didn’t know how to offer true emotional support, only how to tease and make light of things. It became very problematic when individuals were struggling with something real. People had no skills to deal with a family member’s PPD, or burn out at work, or marital problems that led to divorce (a divorce caused in part due to inability to stop joking and be real and genuine and vulnerable).

Yes, even when it’s a family behavior, it’s covering for insecurity. Maybe especially then.

I'm the PP you're criticizing. I've seen your type of commentary before on DCUM, and I'm not sure we're talking about the same thing. People who make jokes are usually the opposite of what you describe: they have a lot of empathy, feel people's pain and try to lift their mood with laughter. Sometimes it's very wry laughter in very sad situations.

We're not talking about hurting people for fun. We love watching stand-up comics, and my kids appreciate that kind of vibe. We have a strong bond, and they're not afraid to tell me stuff, so if they felt uncomfortable with someone's jokes, they'd tell me.

You can make jokes without them being at someone’s expense. None of the truly funny people I know spend a lot of time making fun of others. Even when they do, they mostly either self-deprecate or punch up.

[Anonymous]

My whole family likes to punch down at other people like this. They are just jerks who are trying to make themselves feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because the MAGA people really are ugly and stupid!

and that comment shows how stupid you are (or ignorant).