Ex/childrens father freaked out that I took plan B

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PPs that you need to recognize the need to set boundaries and maintain them. I also gently suggest you not bring the new guy to your father's wedding. You haven't been dating long enough and you shouldn't be introducing your kids to a new man in your life. You should be waiting until you have a committed relationship, not just an exclusive relationship. It doesn't matter what your XDH does. You can only control you.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a hot mess. Mature adult parents don’t act like this. Period. You need to stop hooking up and get some therapy to help you learn what a normal healthy relationship looks like, if not for your own sake, so it for your children.

[Anonymous]

Wow. This is trashy

[Anonymous]

OP here. I agree with others that we need to set boundaries. I should have stopped the convo without adding information to defend myself.

I agree it's too soon for them to meet, I guess I am getting ahead of myself. I pictured introducing him as a friend, not kissing etc. I have always pictured waiting a good 3-6 months for my kids to meet anyone. You guys are right about that. Maybe I just asked him that to get a reaction out of him. I agree I need to be more mature. I am in my 20s.

I don't agree with the comments saying I shouldn't date. I took a year and a half to myself. My friends thought I was crazy for going so long without sex. I went a whole year and a half without being kissed. So I don't agree with those saying I need to work on myself more to date. My therapist had given me the go ahead to date a year ago and I just now got back into it and was just excited. I focused on my children during the time i was single, besides the 2 times I made the mistake of hooking up with my ex.

As far as the plan b on the counter, I really did forget, my ex dropped off the kids at 6 am and I didn't think he would come inside. My children cannot read yet, so they don't know what it is.

[Anonymous]

Your life is messy, boo. And it sounds like you like it that way. A Plan B on the kitchen counter, condoms breaking, new dudes meeting the kids. A mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your life is messy, boo. And it sounds like you like it that way. A Plan B on the kitchen counter, condoms breaking, new dudes meeting the kids. A mess.

I've been single nearly 2 years and nobody has met the kids. Wow this is not the place to post lol all you old folks. Should have posted on reddit with some sex positive people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your life is messy, boo. And it sounds like you like it that way. A Plan B on the kitchen counter, condoms breaking, new dudes meeting the kids. A mess.

I've been single nearly 2 years and nobody has met the kids. Wow this is not the place to post lol all you old folks. Should have posted on reddit with some sex positive people.

NP, but you can be sex positive and not have any of this adult drama in front of your young children. Especially when it’s playing out in their home with their father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your life is messy, boo. And it sounds like you like it that way. A Plan B on the kitchen counter, condoms breaking, new dudes meeting the kids. A mess.

I've been single nearly 2 years and nobody has met the kids. Wow this is not the place to post lol all you old folks. Should have posted on reddit with some sex positive people.

NP, but you can be sex positive and not have any of this adult drama in front of your young children. Especially when it’s playing out in their home with their father.

He called me when neither of us had the kids they were at daycare/preschool. He didn't say anything in front of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your life is messy, boo. And it sounds like you like it that way. A Plan B on the kitchen counter, condoms breaking, new dudes meeting the kids. A mess.

I've been single nearly 2 years and nobody has met the kids. Wow this is not the place to post lol grown-ups. Should have posted on reddit with some sex positive people.

Fixed that for you

[Anonymous]

You are exhibit A for when we tell women don't get married in your 20s or have children then, either.

You are living a really low-rent life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leaving Plan B on the counter where ex can see was planned.

You need to fly solo for awhile. No ex. No new bf. No wedding dates. Concentrate on getting yourself to a place where you don’t *need* the men and certainly not all this drama you are manufacturing. And for chrissake, parent your children better.

I agree with all of this. You need to fly solo for a minimum of one year and do some serious growing up before you start dating anyone. You also need to know men for more than a hot minute before having sex with them---this is how young mothers end up dead and the subject of a dateline episode. Is that what you want? You want to be in an Investigation ID Facebook post? Grow up--get a good vibrator if you need to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I agree with others that we need to set boundaries. I should have stopped the convo without adding information to defend myself.

I agree it's too soon for them to meet, I guess I am getting ahead of myself. I pictured introducing him as a friend, not kissing etc. I have always pictured waiting a good 3-6 months for my kids to meet anyone. You guys are right about that. Maybe I just asked him that to get a reaction out of him. I agree I need to be more mature. I am in my 20s.

I don't agree with the comments saying I shouldn't date. I took a year and a half to myself. My friends thought I was crazy for going so long without sex. I went a whole year and a half without being kissed. So I don't agree with those saying I need to work on myself more to date. My therapist had given me the go ahead to date a year ago and I just now got back into it and was just excited. I focused on my children during the time i was single, besides the 2 times I made the mistake of hooking up with my ex.

As far as the plan b on the counter, I really did forget, my ex dropped off the kids at 6 am and I didn't think he would come inside. My children cannot read yet, so they don't know what it is.

Why don't you get on a more reliable form of birth control?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your life is messy, boo. And it sounds like you like it that way. A Plan B on the kitchen counter, condoms breaking, new dudes meeting the kids. A mess.

I've been single nearly 2 years and nobody has met the kids. Wow this is not the place to post lol all you old folks. Should have posted on reddit with some sex positive people.

If you're in your 20's, then some if us 40+ may seem old to you. You came here for advice. With age comes wisdom and we old people are telling you to get your self together. You should be waiting 3-6 months to have sex with a *boyfriend, who you should NOT introduce to your children until you know for sure he will be there for the long haul. Your current selection process doesn't seem to be producing any winners. And you really do sound like a Jerry Springer or Maury Povitch guest.

You may be the best troll we've had around here lately.

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old is more mature and better at decision making than you OP.

[Anonymous]

OP - we’re a lot of women in our 40s and yes some of us are clutching our pearls reading your message. You are doing a great job. Good for you for seeking therapy, and trying your best to navigate a relationship with X DH. It took me years before I was able to put up a real boundary with my X DH. I would second not bringing anyone to your fathers wedding - even if he’s introduced as a friend with no kissing it’s a little too soon, and a lot of pressure to put on a new guy.