If you could start over, what kind of man would you want to date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For DWs who married and learned what marriage life is like. If you could start over, what kind of man would you date in college or after college. What would you prioritize- man’s look, character, intelligence? What else is important to you if you could start all over again?

None. I think I’ll stay single. I like mine but marriage and children are too much work, expense and stress. It overwhelms one, single life is easier.

[Anonymous]

I would never ever get married. Ever. It is just not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never ever get married. Ever. It is just not worth it.

Is that what you would recommend to your DC (if you have any kid)?

[Anonymous]

Wouldn't change a thing except perhaps more time/energy for intimacy. My advice is don't get married too early in life, before you really know what's important. Make sure you are compatible intellectually, emotionally and sexual. It doesn't have to be 10/10 on all three but it should be solid. If you see red flags, don't ignore them. Once married, nurture what you have and be grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d pay more attention to his family of origin, his relationship with them and their relationships with each other. I didn’t realize how important that information is.

This. He turned out exactly like his father. And, somehow, has managed to recreate the exact same dynamic he grew up in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never ever get married. Ever. It is just not worth it.

YOU ARE SMART.

[Anonymous]

Having freed myself of marriage I won’t ever do it again. But I’ll date all kinds of men! I am fascinated to see what kind of interesting men come into my life. I’ve been single for 4.5 years and am enjoying it to the hilt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone without a hypercontrolling nature and no ADHD or Asperger's tendencies.
My husband just had another tantrum this morning. It's exhausting.

+1

THIS. They mask it for so long, then it gets really, really bad. God forbid they pass those traits on to your poor, unsuspecting, innocent children.

I mean, I know you both are just trolls, but for the poor, innocent readers of the internet: That’s. Not. How. Asd. Works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never ever get married. Ever. It is just not worth it.

Is that what you would recommend to your DC (if you have any kid)?

Not PP but 100%. Only marry if you want to marry, not because it’s expected.

[Anonymous]

And for God’s sake, don’t marry for fear of missing out, wedding dress, pictures and ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never ever get married. Ever. It is just not worth it.

Is that what you would recommend to your DC (if you have any kid)?

Yes. I have two daughters. I hope they don't every get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never ever get married. Ever. It is just not worth it.

YOU ARE SMART.

Well, I stupidly did get married in my early 30s due to pressure. Biggest mistake of my life. Worst decade ever. If I went back in time, I would never have gotten married. I did not want to anyway...I was ahead of my time about my feelings about it. It seems easier now if a woman does not want to marry. It's more acceptable to have those feelings now. It was not that way for me.

[Anonymous]

I would make sure they are not addicted to anything like alcohol or drugs. I would more carefully look at their parents' marriage or relationship or lack of - I had no idea how messed up his family of origin was and how his mom left his dad because he had a child with his affair. That didn't come up till after the wedding. I had no idea how difficult the childhood was because his parents were so selfish and not around very much and more concerned about their careers and who they were dating.

I would go for someone who cares deeply about family and being there for his loved ones but knows boundaries and has a stable and more predictable career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never ever get married. Ever. It is just not worth it.

Haha I kind of agree. If anything happened to DH I would never remarry. I would just live out my single life peacefully without all of the issues! I don’t get why people get married so many times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For DWs who married and learned what marriage life is like. If you could start over, what kind of man would you date in college or after college. What would you prioritize- man’s look, character, intelligence? What else is important to you if you could start all over again?

None. I think I’ll stay single. I like mine but marriage and children are too much work, expense and stress. It overwhelms one, single life is easier.

+1