SAHMs -- how much housework does your DH help with?

[Anonymous]

My DH does more than me (cooking, straightening up, yard, trash, food prep for daycare, errands) but I do work four days a week.

It's funny in that opposites attract in some ways. I am so super laid back about clutter, just thinking I'll get around to it, and he is really anal about it so the house is always picked up. Same with kitchen clean up, he prefers his way so he just does it.

He puts away laundry but I typically do it, the housekeeper does deep cleans, and we take turns with groceries.

[Anonymous]

My DH does more than me. We both work. I do all the $$, cooking mostly. He does most cleaning, laundry and yard. I help with cleaning and laundry, but I think he does 65% and I do 35%. I tend to do more childcare items though, so I think it evens out.

[Anonymous]

I SAH and I would say I do about 70% of the housework and related chores/errands. No maid (le sigh). On the weekends, childcare is 50/50 so we each get time off. FWIW, I don't feel it is my job at all to do housework and very little cleaning magic happens during the day. I have two very active little kids (one naps but the other is on all day and neither is in preschool yet) and it is pretty much impossible to do any housework when they are awake.

[Anonymous]

eta-I do laundry every damn day. We have about 12 loads a week-it is unreal the amount of stain treating, washing, drying, hanging, putting away repeat ad nauseum that happens here. And there is still a giant sisyphean mound in the laundry room.

[Anonymous]

nada-zip. also, he has no idea where anything is..tonight he asked where we keep the garbage bags and where to find a screw driver.....honestly, he's so incompetent when at home that I almost feel sorry for him.

[Anonymous]

Why are all the responses on this thread from working moms? You rock, yes, but OP is asking for sAHM data.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe how many working moms do almost all of the other stuff. That is bullhonky.

[Anonymous]

He does:

* All cooking (daily, unless he doesn't feel like it = we go out. He works from home and has the time and the passion. I get home at around 6:30 and firing up the stove is the last thing I want to do.)
* About 50% of finances (he's the online accounting wizard. I track our mortgage and credit cards.)
* 100% technology upgrading and monitoring (it's his professional field)
* 35% of putting child to bed
* 80% of grocery shopping
* 25% of child entertainment (usu he comes along to something I've planned)
* 90% of vacation/travel planning

I do:
* 50% of finances
* 65% of putting child to bed
* 100% of gardening (small urban plot, and I enjoy this immensely)
* 80% of kitchen cleanup
* 60% of child entertainment (grandparents, aunties, neighbors take care of the rest)
* 10% of vacation/travel planning

Nanny/housekeeper does
* almost 100% of laundry + put away clothes
* kitchen mopping and vacuuming
* general daily tidiness

[Anonymous]

Note to self: hire nanny/housekeeper.

[Anonymous]

22:14 sounds rather petty, no?

Should I count how many crumbs I put in the sink?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how many working moms do almost all of the other stuff. That is bullhonky.

I think they just wanted to chime in and comiserate (is that a word even?)

When I used to SAH, the house work was split 25%-him 75%-me, now that I work it is 80% him 20% me, but I pick up more of the slack when it comes to the kids and we also have a housekeeping service that does all the deep cleaning.

If I was still SAH and did 100% like many of you ladies, I don't think my marriage would survive it, my sex life certainly would come to a hault!! Clean up after him and then fuck him? No way.

[Anonymous]

He takes out the trash, will load or unload the dishwasher (not both), and yeah, that's about it.

[Anonymous]

I SAH but work one day a week and this is our set up:

What I do:
I cook 95% of the time (he will grill and once every few weeks make breakfast on the weekend). and I clean up 100% of the time;
Load dishes and empty them daily.
Laundry - clean, fold and put away
Cat litter
Trash collection around the house
Make the beds daily
Bathe kids daily
Tidy up and organize toys daily (multiple times a day)
90% of the grocery shopping
social gatherings

He does:
100% of the yard work
Car maintenance
All the bills
Home repairs
Dry Cleaning (drop off and pick up)
He is better at major clean up and organization where I am better at tidying up on the surface.
If we have ppl over - he goes all out with the cleaning and I do the cooking.
Puts one of the 2 kids to bed.
He organizes the storage room.
Takes trash out during trash days
All vacation plans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

22:14 sounds rather petty, no?

Really? How is it petty? Attempted to be just an estimate of how the regular domestic chores are distributed. Three people, each with somewhat different schedules or interests.... so it goes. As the originator of the post, I can say everyone's pretty happy, though the DH wishes that DW would do more cooking, and DW wishes DH would help out more in the garden. Mostly domestic work is shared (it sure helps to have a third responsible and tidy adult in the mix), though phps not 'equally' per task.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

22:14 sounds rather petty, no?

Should I count how many crumbs I put in the sink?

21:22 here- I don't think its petty at all- both DH and I have talked about how having more of a "scientific" list would help. Sometimes its easier just to know what you have to do - eliminates the haggling over chores and feeling of imbalance!

Go on with your bad self 22:14 - I like the list!