How does your Catholic School treat non binary/trans student?

[Anonymous]

Assuming that OP is not a troll, in my experience with DC area Catholic schools, I think that this is a situation where you and/or your child is going to have to make a choice. You or s/he chose the school for a reason, recognizing that it follows Catholic teachings, dogma and expectations. What your child is asking for is out of those bounds.

I would explain to my child that choices have consequences. S/he cannot expect the school to change policy or beliefs over this issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade DD goes to a fairly progressive Catholic school. They are the only student in their year group that they know who identifies as non binary, although they are friends with a few gay students. They would like to ask the school to use their gender neutral name when they start back for 8th grade after the summer. I am wondering how this is going to be received... I know Catholic school is not ideal for LGBTQ kids so we are going to make a change for High School but they are adamant they want to stay for 8th as they have so many good friends at the school.

Are you at a k-8 diocesan Catholic school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade DD goes to a fairly progressive Catholic school. They are the only student in their year group that they know who identifies as non binary, although they are friends with a few gay students. They would like to ask the school to use their gender neutral name when they start back for 8th grade after the summer. I am wondering how this is going to be received... I know Catholic school is not ideal for LGBTQ kids so we are going to make a change for High School but they are adamant they want to stay for 8th as they have so many good friends at the school.

Are you at a k-8 diocesan Catholic school?

No a 6-8 middle (Los Angeles Diocese)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade DD goes to a fairly progressive Catholic school. They are the only student in their year group that they know who identifies as non binary, although they are friends with a few gay students. They would like to ask the school to use their gender neutral name when they start back for 8th grade after the summer. I am wondering how this is going to be received... I know Catholic school is not ideal for LGBTQ kids so we are going to make a change for High School but they are adamant they want to stay for 8th as they have so many good friends at the school.

Are you at a k-8 diocesan Catholic school?

No a 6-8 middle (Los Angeles Diocese)

Not being in the DC area is a key element you left out of your op. I don’t think this is the best place to ask for guidance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade DD goes to a fairly progressive Catholic school. They are the only student in their year group that they know who identifies as non binary, although they are friends with a few gay students. They would like to ask the school to use their gender neutral name when they start back for 8th grade after the summer. I am wondering how this is going to be received... I know Catholic school is not ideal for LGBTQ kids so we are going to make a change for High School but they are adamant they want to stay for 8th as they have so many good friends at the school.

Are you at a k-8 diocesan Catholic school?

No a 6-8 middle (Los Angeles Diocese)

Not being in the DC area is a key element you left out of your op. I don’t think this is the best place to ask for guidance.

Exactly. OP, your situation and ours is probably very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade DD goes to a fairly progressive Catholic school. They are the only student in their year group that they know who identifies as non binary, although they are friends with a few gay students. They would like to ask the school to use their gender neutral name when they start back for 8th grade after the summer. I am wondering how this is going to be received... I know Catholic school is not ideal for LGBTQ kids so we are going to make a change for High School but they are adamant they want to stay for 8th as they have so many good friends at the school.

Are you at a k-8 diocesan Catholic school?

No a 6-8 middle (Los Angeles Diocese)

Not being in the DC area is a key element you left out of your op. I don’t think this is the best place to ask for guidance.

Agree. Wrong forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade DD goes to a fairly progressive Catholic school. They are the only student in their year group that they know who identifies as non binary, although they are friends with a few gay students. They would like to ask the school to use their gender neutral name when they start back for 8th grade after the summer. I am wondering how this is going to be received... I know Catholic school is not ideal for LGBTQ kids so we are going to make a change for High School but they are adamant they want to stay for 8th as they have so many good friends at the school.

Are you at a k-8 diocesan Catholic school?

No a 6-8 middle (Los Angeles Diocese)

Not being in the DC area is a key element you left out of your op. I don’t think this is the best place to ask for guidance.

Agree. Wrong forum.

Ok, sadly there is no equivalent forum in LA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade DD goes to a fairly progressive Catholic school. They are the only student in their year group that they know who identifies as non binary, although they are friends with a few gay students. They would like to ask the school to use their gender neutral name when they start back for 8th grade after the summer. I am wondering how this is going to be received... I know Catholic school is not ideal for LGBTQ kids so we are going to make a change for High School but they are adamant they want to stay for 8th as they have so many good friends at the school.

Are you at a k-8 diocesan Catholic school?

No a 6-8 middle (Los Angeles Diocese)

Not being in the DC area is a key element you left out of your op. I don’t think this is the best place to ask for guidance.

Agree. Wrong forum.

Ok, sadly there is no equivalent forum in LA.

The thing is that the Catholic Church is, for the most part, extraordinarily conservative in this area. Our church doesn’t even have girls serve at the alter. My home church back in the NY suburbs let girls serve back in the 1970’s!

I would talk to the administration and see how they respond. But I’d also talk to your child about the trade-offs of staying in that school. If it’s important to her to finish next year with her friends, maybe it would be worth it for her to delay a name change until she gets to high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade DD goes to a fairly progressive Catholic school. They are the only student in their year group that they know who identifies as non binary, although they are friends with a few gay students. They would like to ask the school to use their gender neutral name when they start back for 8th grade after the summer. I am wondering how this is going to be received... I know Catholic school is not ideal for LGBTQ kids so we are going to make a change for High School but they are adamant they want to stay for 8th as they have so many good friends at the school.

Are you at a k-8 diocesan Catholic school?

No a 6-8 middle (Los Angeles Diocese)

Not being in the DC area is a key element you left out of your op. I don’t think this is the best place to ask for guidance.

Agree. Wrong forum.

Ok, sadly there is no equivalent forum in LA.

[Anonymous]

I would talk with the principal. In my opinion, this is exactly the situation where they can embrace what it really means to be Christian. But I would not have high hopes for that in actuality in the DC area. Hopefully LA Catholic culture is different.

[Anonymous]

In our school, in the DC metro area, this would not be supported by the administration. The bishop sent out a message a few months ago on this issue. My sense of that communication was that it was better ultimately better for the child not to support gender identities other than those assigned at birth.

I asked DC If they were kids in her class who requested neutral gender pronouns. She said yes, but only amongst their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"They" is plural, btw.

No it isn’t. APA says it’s both.

Greivient went to the store, they love to shop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade DD goes to a fairly progressive Catholic school. They are the only student in their year group that they know who identifies as non binary, although they are friends with a few gay students. They would like to ask the school to use their gender neutral name when they start back for 8th grade after the summer. I am wondering how this is going to be received... I know Catholic school is not ideal for LGBTQ kids so we are going to make a change for High School but they are adamant they want to stay for 8th as they have so many good friends at the school.

Are you at a k-8 diocesan Catholic school?

No a 6-8 middle (Los Angeles Diocese)

Not being in the DC area is a key element you left out of your op. I don’t think this is the best place to ask for guidance.

Agree. Wrong forum.

Ok, sadly there is no equivalent forum in LA.

The thing is that the Catholic Church is, for the most part, extraordinarily conservative in this area. Our church doesn’t even have girls serve at the alter. My home church back in the NY suburbs let girls serve back in the 1970’s!

I would talk to the administration and see how they respond. But I’d also talk to your child about the trade-offs of staying in that school. If it’s important to her to finish next year with her friends, maybe it would be worth it for her to delay a name change until she gets to high school.

In LA you mean? There are all flavors of Catholic churches in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would talk with the principal. In my opinion, this is exactly the situation where they can embrace what it really means to be Christian. But I would not have high hopes for that in actuality in the DC area. Hopefully LA Catholic culture is different.

Not sure why you think this. I know of several Catholic high schools with trans kids. I know one student chose to leave a school because it was a single sex of the gender that the child no longer identified with, but for years it was fine, and the school used the child's preferred name and pronouns. I wouldn't say this is common, as it clearly doesn't seem to the best choice among great options in the area, but the actual human beings in the administrations of these schools are not monsters, and they care about the kids as individuals, even as the community debates the fundamental issues it poses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade DD goes to a fairly progressive Catholic school. They are the only student in their year group that they know who identifies as non binary, although they are friends with a few gay students. They would like to ask the school to use their gender neutral name when they start back for 8th grade after the summer. I am wondering how this is going to be received... I know Catholic school is not ideal for LGBTQ kids so we are going to make a change for High School but they are adamant they want to stay for 8th as they have so many good friends at the school.

Are you at a k-8 diocesan Catholic school?

No a 6-8 middle (Los Angeles Diocese)

Not being in the DC area is a key element you left out of your op. I don’t think this is the best place to ask for guidance.

Agree. Wrong forum.

So much this.

A large geographic area of the DC suburbs are part of the Diocese of Arlington, which is known as the most conservative Diocese in the United States. My friend is a pastor in L.A. and gave me a heads up about how different life is in the metro DC area vs. where he is.

I hope your child finds the support they need.

If my child were trans, I'd pull them out of Catholic School. Lots of kids echo their conservative parents (maybe 1/3-1/2) and form their own point of view later as they gather more life experience. Undo stress can make learning a challenge, and kids have a way of being subtle in their ways to exclude others.

Some teachers seek a job in a Catholic school because they are avoiding dealing with "non-traditional" situations and sounds like (conservative) grandparents at Thanksgiving dinner when they talk about things like this.

I mentioned a gay friend who was talking to their therapist.
"If they have to go to therapy about it, why not just not be gay," was a comment I heard recently. I don't approve, but this mindset is prevalent.

Don't go to a steakhouse if you are looking for a great veggie burger.

Ok, sadly there is no equivalent forum in LA.