Female breadwinners

[Anonymous]

I'm the breadwinner - hubby makes about 100k and I make around 800k. I love it because we can afford to outsource all the things that I hate doing (laundry, cleaning, yard, etc.), and he loves to cook so breakfast and dinner are always taken care of so that I can focus on the kids for a few hours. He also does good for the world in his profession, so it makes me feel OK (eh, kind of) about being a corporate sellout.

I think it's harder on him - because the difference in salary doesn't mean a commensurate difference in hours. I probably only work 20% more than him. So he probably picks up more than his share of the house/kid duties based purely on the fact that I make more money...which isn't necessarily fair.

[Anonymous]

I am the breadwinner and make 4x what my husband does. Should I lose my job my DH’s salary could not support us. That puts immense pressure on me and is a pressure that I don’t like. I have been the breadwinner for almost our entire day 14 year marriage. I find it lonely as well since most of my friends have higher earning DHs and can’t commiserate or really understand where I am coming from.

My DH does split home front duties but shockingly his low paying job is also very inflexible so I am the parent on deck should an emergency arise. I feel very alone sometimes and that I can’t change jobs or follow a passion because my income is so needed. My DH will never make more than $60k (which is much more than he makes now) so we need my $150k income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the breadwinner - hubby makes about 100k and I make around 800k. I love it because we can afford to outsource all the things that I hate doing (laundry, cleaning, yard, etc.), and he loves to cook so breakfast and dinner are always taken care of so that I can focus on the kids for a few hours. He also does good for the world in his profession, so it makes me feel OK (eh, kind of) about being a corporate sellout.

I think it's harder on him - because the difference in salary doesn't mean a commensurate difference in hours. I probably only work 20% more than him. So he probably picks up more than his share of the house/kid duties based purely on the fact that I make more money...which isn't necessarily fair.

What do you do for a living?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the breadwinner - hubby makes about 100k and I make around 800k. I love it because we can afford to outsource all the things that I hate doing (laundry, cleaning, yard, etc.), and he loves to cook so breakfast and dinner are always taken care of so that I can focus on the kids for a few hours. He also does good for the world in his profession, so it makes me feel OK (eh, kind of) about being a corporate sellout.

I think it's harder on him - because the difference in salary doesn't mean a commensurate difference in hours. I probably only work 20% more than him. So he probably picks up more than his share of the house/kid duties based purely on the fact that I make more money...which isn't necessarily fair.

What do you do for a living?

Drug dealer.

[Anonymous]

I love it. DH makes $100k and I make $1m. I do a lot of travel and come home to a clean house and an attentive husband. He makes me breakfast in bed on weekends so I can relax in bed longer. If I am home, I cook dinner but he cleans up. He does everything when I’m away. We have two teenagers.

We have been married for 25 years now and when we started going out I was in college and he had started working so was earning a lot more. The imbalance came over the years. I’m just a lot better making money and he is better at home stuff.

I can see why a lot of men like wives that stay home and do everything. It’s such a breeze.

[Anonymous]

I was the breadwinner for a while when he was getting a second bachelors/doctorate. It was when we were starting our family and I didn’t like it. I felt like I had to give birth, breastfeed, maternity leave etc and make all the money. But it is now over and he makes more than me. I love that. When I see/hear of wives that have sahd husbands I think they got the short end of the stick. I would resent it. However, I realize many consider the his old-fashioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was the breadwinner for a while when he was getting a second bachelors/doctorate. It was when we were starting our family and I didn’t like it. I felt like I had to give birth, breastfeed, maternity leave etc and make all the money. But it is now over and he makes more than me. I love that. When I see/hear of wives that have sahd husbands I think they got the short end of the stick. I would resent it. However, I realize many consider the his old-fashioned.

Just imagine how guys feel with low earning wifes or sahws.

[Anonymous]

Friends ended up in this situation.

She had a Phd; he had an IT job with good pay but never went to college.

He became the SAHD. She soon cheated on him with someone from her work.

She no longer respected him, to no one’s surprise.
They are divorced now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s actually better than when we had roughly equal salaries. I was working and doing the lion’s share of household work and feeling bitter. Now DH pulls his weight around the house and I’d say he does 60% of the home stuff.

+1.

DH is actually back at work now, but I really loved the years that he was a SAHD. I felt like our family was so much more united.

[Anonymous]

I’ve actually grown to like the fact that my wife makes more than me. It’s not a huge amount but I could foresee the difference growing a lot larger over time (dreams of being in the C-suite).

For me, it relieves me of having any financial burdens and worries about providing for her (no children). And if it all goes south between us, I feel like there’d be no reason for her to try to clean me out in a divorce.

Lucky for me she doesn’t seem to have an issue with our current lifestyle so hopefully it stays that way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friends ended up in this situation.

She had a Phd; he had an IT job with good pay but never went to college.

He became the SAHD. She soon cheated on him with someone from her work.

She no longer respected him, to no one’s surprise.
They are divorced now.

That is extremely common for women that out earn their husbands

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the breadwinner - hubby makes about 100k and I make around 800k. I love it because we can afford to outsource all the things that I hate doing (laundry, cleaning, yard, etc.), and he loves to cook so breakfast and dinner are always taken care of so that I can focus on the kids for a few hours. He also does good for the world in his profession, so it makes me feel OK (eh, kind of) about being a corporate sellout.

I think it's harder on him - because the difference in salary doesn't mean a commensurate difference in hours. I probably only work 20% more than him. So he probably picks up more than his share of the house/kid duties based purely on the fact that I make more money...which isn't necessarily fair.

What do you do for a living?

I'm in biglaw, he is counsel for a nonprofit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friends ended up in this situation.

She had a Phd; he had an IT job with good pay but never went to college.

He became the SAHD. She soon cheated on him with someone from her work.

She no longer respected him, to no one’s surprise.
They are divorced now.

Studies show infidelity is highest for men whose wives' out earn them substantially. I don't know if it's that they feel emasculated and/or just have more time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friends ended up in this situation.

She had a Phd; he had an IT job with good pay but never went to college.

He became the SAHD. She soon cheated on him with someone from her work.

She no longer respected him, to no one’s surprise.
They are divorced now.

This goes both ways. I have had countless men complain about their wives that never worked, even after the kids were fully self-sufficient and out of the house most of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friends ended up in this situation.

She had a Phd; he had an IT job with good pay but never went to college.

He became the SAHD. She soon cheated on him with someone from her work.

She no longer respected him, to no one’s surprise.
They are divorced now.

Studies show infidelity is highest for men whose wives' out earn them substantially. I don't know if it's that they feel emasculated and/or just have more time.

I think they also have lower IQ