Oldest sister jealous of me and DH. How to deal?

[Anonymous]

I would not allow someone racist around my children, sister or not. Why should you subject your husband to these behaviors?

The jealousy is really secondary to the racism. It sounds like she brings nothing positive to your lives, I would cut contact or go very low contact WITHOUT you DH or DS.....

[Anonymous]

Posts like these make me think it’s a troll. Title is about some drama of jealousy. Really long post. Then buried is some racist nonsense that seems to be a secondary issue.

OP posts at 9:30am, but for 6+ hours can’t be bothered to check back and respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Posts like these make me think it’s a troll. Title is about some drama of jealousy. Really long post. Then buried is some racist nonsense that seems to be a secondary issue.

OP posts at 9:30am, but for 6+ hours can’t be bothered to check back and respond.

Some people don't live on DCUM all day. Not OP but I was in an all day meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posts like these make me think it’s a troll. Title is about some drama of jealousy. Really long post. Then buried is some racist nonsense that seems to be a secondary issue.

OP posts at 9:30am, but for 6+ hours can’t be bothered to check back and respond.

Some people don't live on DCUM all day. Not OP but I was in an all day meeting.

This is OP. What they said. I posted yesterday morning and haven’t checked this yet since. Geez I work and have a son, lady. The PP sounds like something my sister would say.

Thank you all for your replies. This helps. I shouldn’t entertain her for a while until she sees the error in her ways.

[Anonymous]

The likelihood of her seeing the error of her ways is like 1%. You need to stop pretending that this is going to work. Your kid doesn’t deserve to have to spend time with a racist. Neither does your hsuband.

You have some real people pleasing issues that you need to get over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posts like these make me think it’s a troll. Title is about some drama of jealousy. Really long post. Then buried is some racist nonsense that seems to be a secondary issue.

OP posts at 9:30am, but for 6+ hours can’t be bothered to check back and respond.

Some people don't live on DCUM all day. Not OP but I was in an all day meeting.

This is OP. What they said. I posted yesterday morning and haven’t checked this yet since. Geez I work and have a son, lady. The PP sounds like something my sister would say.

Thank you all for your replies. This helps. I shouldn’t entertain her for a while until she sees the error in her ways.

I feel sorry for your DH and son. Imagine having a mom who enables racism against him and needs to be told by strangers to do something about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the youngest sister of the family and have four siblings. We grew up pretty poor, and my oldest sister does the thing where she gets super jealous whenever my other siblings are successful and try to always one up them.

For example, my oldest sister had no intention of getting her MBA until my other brother got his, so she had to one up him and brag about how much of a better school she went to. Or one sibling moved abroad, so 4 months later, she moved abroad and bragged about it. Just very petty.

Me and my DH got married last year and were able to buy a new home. DH is a POC and grew up poor too, but makes pretty good money at a tech firm so we were able to build our dream home. So when my oldest sister comes over, it’s always discouraging comments about the street not being nice enough, certain rooms not being big enough. But then she asks me odd questions like “how did your DH afford this? He’s hispanic”. Or the latest one was “You won’t be able to keep him, he’s going to leave you and find someone else who has money!” Of course, my oldest sister lives alone with 2 cats and is pushing 50 in an apartment, which is nothing wrong with that, but she thinks it is in her mind.

It’s getting to the point where she mocks our DS and claims he won’t be successful because he’s mixed race. And that one was the last straw. So I’m actively avoiding her calls. How would you handle this? I don’t want to cut her off from my life because she’s my sister, but what the hell? It drives me nuts and she gives me so much anxiety with her racist and classist comments.

you have to cut this person out of your life to protect your child. Im sorry, it will be hard, but you have to. I know others who have had to do something similiar with racist relatives once they married someone of a different race.

Agreed. This is not jealousy, this is cruelty. Why allow her to treat your kids and husband this way?

[Anonymous]

OP, do you secretly look down on your DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you secretly look down on your DH?

This is OP. No. Why would I? Where did I even indicate that? He’s the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you secretly look down on your DH?

This is OP. No. Why would I? Where did I even indicate that? He’s the best.

But do you really, truly see him as your equal? Be honest. I feel like if you really did, you would have blasted your sister or cut her off after she insulted him the first time.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get this. How did you and Dh just get married last year, have a son and buy a house? And you sound young for your sister pushing 50

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you secretly look down on your DH?

This is OP. No. Why would I? Where did I even indicate that? He’s the best.

But do you really, truly see him as your equal? Be honest. I feel like if you really did, you would have blasted your sister or cut her off after she insulted him the first time.

OP. Why would I not? I’m just non-confrontational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get this. How did you and Dh just get married last year, have a son and buy a house? And you sound young for your sister pushing 50

Dated since 2015. Engaged in 2019. Planned to get married in spring 2020 but pandemic, and we had a baby during the pandemic and then got married last fall once people were ok with feeling comfortable coming to a wedding. Things happened out of our control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you secretly look down on your DH?

This is OP. No. Why would I? Where did I even indicate that? He’s the best.

But do you really, truly see him as your equal? Be honest. I feel like if you really did, you would have blasted your sister or cut her off after she insulted him the first time.

OP. Why would I not? I’m just non-confrontational.

Many people are but there’s a point at which even the most non confrontational person would get pissed enough to fight back, and that’s usually when your loved ones are being attacked or insulted. If even that doesn’t get a rise out of you, you probably don’t care enough about them to defend them.

[Anonymous]

Jealousy. That’s all I have to say.