Wife is upset that my sister bought a house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife is crying and throwing a tantrum because my younger sister and her husband bought a house. We have been unable to buy a house for years due to low incomes. She has wanted to nest since we turned 30, we are now 35 and it’s been a long road of renting. She says it’s my fault as I can’t provide for her enough to buy us a house. She has been crying and is hysterical and being mean. I told my mom that she was being a baby and my mom thinks my wife bullies me. What to do?

Nice story!

[Anonymous]

OMG, stop running to your mommy! Your wife is probably really disappointed that her life is not panning out the way she had hoped. You need to open your eyes. If you are still trying to live a fun lifestyle as if you are in your 20s and she is trying to establish financial security and start a family, no wonder you aren't getting along. Your marriage is at risk here-- if she wants kids she needs to divorce you right away, as you're not going to grow up enough to provide for a family.

OPEN YOUR EYES. You're probably both behaving badly, but at least she sees the importance of solving this problem. What are you going to do to put your family in a better place financially? Time to "adult".

[Anonymous]

1. Divorce.
2. Get a better job after the divorce.

My wife was always upset about my income. I loved my job, and we owned a house and everything else middle class people need. She complained and complained about buying more, traveling more, better house, better car. So I got a better job and more pay and she still complained. Divorced life has been great and I now make $100k more than when I left the job I loved.

At age 35 you should bail, and bang women in their 20s. Marriage is for losers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I desperately hope you’re a troll because everybody in this scenario sounds revolting. Your mommy told you you’re being bullied? Okay then.

+1 - You told your mommy on your wife?

Small wonder why they are low income. Everyone in this marriage is infantile.

[Anonymous]

It is completely normal and understandable to have an emotional reaction to someone close to you achieving a goal you have worked towards but not achieved. Like this is one of the most human reactions there is, and no one is immune -- everyone feels this way sometimes.

Blaming your spouse for not earning enough is immature though -- in a marriage you work together to address issues. If your incomes are low, you should consider moving to a lower cost of living area or buying a condo or smaller home. Or look for fixer uppers that you could live in and work on over time. These are things you have to work on together, though.

But OP, you are also immature for both (1) seeming to have no empathy for your wife's disappointment, which is understandable, and (2) dragging your mother into this argument. Both you and your wife need to grow up and figure out what your financial plan is. It sounds like you both want to buy a home. Well, time to figure out how to do that. You can't just keep putting it off and expect your wife to be happy about it. It will only get worse the longer you wait.

-- A person who bought a condo because we couldn't afford a house and it was fine, if not ideal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a friend who really wanted a house. We were mom friends. We bought a house and we like to vacation. We would often invite them over and invite them on vacation because we liked them. Apparently in their house not buying a house and not vacationing were top arguments. They eventually divorced and she dropped me. I had no idea just my existing with our house and vacations upset her so much.

Hey, way to make it about you and to believe that your lifestyle is the reason your friend got divorced and ditched your a$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 of you working for 10+ years and you couldn't save up for down payment? Paying mortgage on a condo would have been forced savings. Stock market has gone up almost 4x since 2012. Apple went up 10X since 2013, Tesla 50x and FB 10X.
Not too late for you two. Both of you need to get a 2nd job at night and weekends, and you should be able to buy something in two years. Working 2nd jobs will keep you from spending.
How low is your income? Can't be lower than my $35k. I think you have spending problem and you don't invest. You got to invest if you have low income. Saving is not enough.

Invest how and in what?

NP are you being sarcastic? The stock market! It's had record gains for the past years. You should be investing your savings to buy a house. How? Get a vanguard fund.

So I invest in Apple stock? Or s&p 500?

No... a vanguard fund

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 of you working for 10+ years and you couldn't save up for down payment? Paying mortgage on a condo would have been forced savings. Stock market has gone up almost 4x since 2012. Apple went up 10X since 2013, Tesla 50x and FB 10X.
Not too late for you two. Both of you need to get a 2nd job at night and weekends, and you should be able to buy something in two years. Working 2nd jobs will keep you from spending.
How low is your income? Can't be lower than my $35k. I think you have spending problem and you don't invest. You got to invest if you have low income. Saving is not enough.

Sounds like you follow stocks. What should we buy right now that will go up a lot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 of you working for 10+ years and you couldn't save up for down payment? Paying mortgage on a condo would have been forced savings. Stock market has gone up almost 4x since 2012. Apple went up 10X since 2013, Tesla 50x and FB 10X.
Not too late for you two. Both of you need to get a 2nd job at night and weekends, and you should be able to buy something in two years. Working 2nd jobs will keep you from spending.
How low is your income? Can't be lower than my $35k. I think you have spending problem and you don't invest. You got to invest if you have low income. Saving is not enough.

Sounds like you follow stocks. What should we buy right now that will go up a lot?

A new poster and you need to read about personal finance stat. No guarantee that stocks will go up and people who buy stocks should hold them for decades they are not something you use to invest if you want to have a down payment for a house. You should’ve invested in no load mutual funds or index funds you can buy with Fidelity or vanguard (I have Vanguard) five years ago at least and then eventually cash that out and use that for a down payment. You also should be saving for retirement and it really sounds like you don’t know anything about personal finance.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how immature people get married

[Anonymous]

divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I desperately hope you’re a troll because everybody in this scenario sounds revolting. Your mommy told you you’re being bullied? Okay then.

+1 - You told your mommy on your wife?

Maybe your mommy can talk to her mommy and give her a time out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife is crying and throwing a tantrum because my younger sister and her husband bought a house. We have been unable to buy a house for years due to low incomes. She has wanted to nest since we turned 30, we are now 35 and it’s been a long road of renting. She says it’s my fault as I can’t provide for her enough to buy us a house. She has been crying and is hysterical and being mean. I told my mom that she was being a baby and my mom thinks my wife bullies me. What to do?

Been to New York? People live for generations in apartments. There are some upsides to renting. No roof to replace, HVAC to fix, washing machine to buy, etc. You just call and they fix or replace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife is crying and throwing a tantrum because my younger sister and her husband bought a house. We have been unable to buy a house for years due to low incomes. She has wanted to nest since we turned 30, we are now 35 and it’s been a long road of renting. She says it’s my fault as I can’t provide for her enough to buy us a house. She has been crying and is hysterical and being mean. I told my mom that she was being a baby and my mom thinks my wife bullies me. What to do?

Tell her to START PROVIDING MORE INCOME if she's not already. Entitled

[Anonymous]

Take a class in personal finance together:
https://money.usnews.com/money/personal-finance/family-finance/articles/worthwhile-online-personal-finance-courses