Bought the in-laws house and now they won’t move out for an undetermined amount of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy shit, your husband is a jackass for setting you up like this.

He didn’t know either that they would be extending their time in the home - but he doesn’t care either way. He’s happy to live with his parents and support them in whatever they need. Although, I should add they have a SECOND home that’s in a rural area. IMHO - they made bad choices. They chose to refinance every year and has this big plan to move out to the country despite the fact that my MIL is seriously ill and has her entire medical team in town. There’s medical equipment everywhere in the house. My husband wants to rip up the 40+ year old carpet and my SIL’s kids often come over to stay the night. There’s just no peace anywhere - it’s still the family hub.

You keep saying that but I am assuming that is irrelevant to the purchase price your and your husband paid for the house, right?

[Anonymous]

is your name on the title for the new house? If so, divorce and demand you half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I would give him an ultimatum to evict his parents and their things by a certain date or I would divorce. I’m not usually an ultimatum person and don’t take marriage lightly, but this is a serious breach of your marriage bond. How is it that you sold your house and then bought their house without knowing the full situation? Did you use all the proceeds from the sale of your house to buy this one and did you need a mortgage in addition?

OP here - we bought their home 4 months ago and have been paying the mortgage ever since. We just sold ours.

The plan always was that they would stay for a night here and there every few months for my MIL’a doctor appointments. But then they just kind of informed my husband they would be staying for an undetermined amount of time due to their medical issues. They’ve made no movement to move anything. There’s no room for our stuff. I will be tip toeing in my home. My husband is adamant that they can stay as long as they need and we are footing the bill.

[Anonymous]

Sounds pretty heartless to kick out the in-laws while they are both sick or experiencing a medical emergency.

[Anonymous]

OP, are your in-laws from another country? It is not unusual in some countries for in-laws to live with an adult child and their family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I would give him an ultimatum to evict his parents and their things by a certain date or I would divorce. I’m not usually an ultimatum person and don’t take marriage lightly, but this is a serious breach of your marriage bond. How is it that you sold your house and then bought their house without knowing the full situation? Did you use all the proceeds from the sale of your house to buy this one and did you need a mortgage in addition?

OP here - we bought their home 4 months ago and have been paying the mortgage ever since. We just sold ours.

The plan always was that they would stay for a night here and there every few months for my MIL’a doctor appointments. But then they just kind of informed my husband they would be staying for an undetermined amount of time due to their medical issues. They’ve made no movement to move anything. There’s no room for our stuff. I will be tip toeing in my home. My husband is adamant that they can stay as long as they need and we are footing the bill.

So either you stand up and let your husband know that doesn’t work for you and you’re not on board, or this is how you will be living. What do you want people here to give you for feedback? I doubt your husband was truly this oblivious but it’s quite clear he doesn’t plan to move them along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband knew or suspected this would be the deal and didn't share with you. Enjoy living with your ILs.

This but I’d get my own place. DH loves his parents more than you. Do with that info what you will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are your in-laws from another country? It is not unusual in some countries for in-laws to live with an adult child and their family.

OP -

No. They are both white and American.

And the medical issues are a flare up of my MIL’s chronic illness - I don’t know what they expect will happen once they moved, that her illness will just stop or not affect her? This is a life long issue that she will deal with regardless of where she’s living.

My FIL is dealing with some complications after an elective surgery he scheduled after we bought the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds pretty heartless to kick out the in-laws while they are both sick or experiencing a medical emergency.

I both agree with this but also think things need to be done to make space for OP and her family.


They likely don't have the health to pack up and move, so that's kind of on you and your DH, OP. Time to move them to the guest room, pack up their other things for storage, move your things in, etc. They can stay, but only a reasonable amount of stuff. They absolutely will need assistance with this. They are old and ill. Take care of the problem for them.

[Anonymous]

OP, sorry of this has been answered but I don't think it has been clearly: is your name on the mortgage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy shit, your husband is a jackass for setting you up like this.

He didn’t know either that they would be extending their time in the home - but he doesn’t care either way. He’s happy to live with his parents and support them in whatever they need. Although, I should add they have a SECOND home that’s in a rural area. IMHO - they made bad choices. They chose to refinance every year and has this big plan to move out to the country despite the fact that my MIL is seriously ill and has her entire medical team in town. There’s medical equipment everywhere in the house. My husband wants to rip up the 40+ year old carpet and my SIL’s kids often come over to stay the night. There’s just no peace anywhere - it’s still the family hub.

You keep saying that but I am assuming that is irrelevant to the purchase price your and your husband paid for the house, right?

I think she’s saying that she thought this sale would put some cash in their hand for a move but actually it just means her family is in effect simply taking over the payments?

[Anonymous]

Go live in their second home. Take the kids. Leave the husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go live in their second home. Take the kids. Leave the husband.

Exactly this. Start packing today.
Leave DH to deal with his parents in his new house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds pretty heartless to kick out the in-laws while they are both sick or experiencing a medical emergency.

I both agree with this but also think things need to be done to make space for OP and her family.


They likely don't have the health to pack up and move, so that's kind of on you and your DH, OP. Time to move them to the guest room, pack up their other things for storage, move your things in, etc. They can stay, but only a reasonable amount of stuff. They absolutely will need assistance with this. They are old and ill. Take care of the problem for them.

Exactly. Act helpless you're gonna be treated as helpless. OP, put the other property for sale. Have the parents sign that over. Find and rent a ground floor, accessible apartment in your same area. Book a moving truck and crew and have them pack everything up. anything that doesn't fit you sell and put towards the rent or donate.

If husband balks at any of this, you go with the divorce option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go live in their second home. Take the kids. Leave the husband.

And if the second home is too far away, find an apartment. Get into therapy with your husband so you can get on the same page about who you're living with, how much caregiving support the two of you are willing to do for his parents, etc. I wouldn't move into the in-laws house if they haven't moved out, because there's no way you'll have the freedom to move your own stuff in and if they haven't first moved their stuff out.

I would also start looking for a job, because things sound rocky with your DH.