Sleepovers

[Anonymous]

I don't think they started for my kid until 9.

FWIW, she has definitely attended some where other girls were picked up early, which is not a big deal at all.

[Anonymous]

We don't let our kids spend the night at other people's houses. We let them go and stay late, but come and pick up to sleep at our house.

[Anonymous]

My daughter had her first at 4. With the daughter of friends of ours who we had been friends with for many years before either of us had kids. I worked with them too and our kids went to daycare together. She’s never had independent sleepovers with anyone else and is now 11. Our son hasn’t had any, but he was only 4 when COVID started, and we don’t have a similar family we are comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think our DD was 9 for her first sleepover, but she does have anxiety which 100% played a role. Now she's good at 2 friends homes. If there was a new one where she hasn't been to the house before that would probably be a rough one. Every kid is different. I was sleeping over at friends homes when I was 5, but I've always been a very independent, self sufficient person.

OP here. She's a little anxious too. She's never been to their house even for a regular playdate.

I'm kind of thinking about having her go for the party and then picking her up? I don't know... that would probably make it worse/weirder?

I don't think this is weird at all. Say she isn't comfortable doing sleepovers yet and pick her up at a certain time.

I guarantee you with kids that age there will be some middle of the night calls/pick ups. The host is nuts. No thanks.

Op here.. right?! I would not want to host this at all as a parent. My DD actually has done one sleepover party at just turned 6, but it was for her cousin's birthday so I was ok with it because it's family. But I was just shocked at how many of my niece's friends' parents were ok with a sleepover at 5 and 6.

I'm the parent of the anxious kid. What we did for that first one (and one before that wasn't successful) was to send her with everything she needed to sleepover, but if she didn't want to that was fine and we picked her up. We also let her know it was 100% fine for her to call at any point for us to pick her up. The unsuccessful time was around 1am. She felt better going knowing she had an out if she needed it.

You basically set her up for failure. Of course she should know o that for any kind of playdate, day or night she can always call home, but you sent the message that she wasn't ready to make it through the night. Better to go in planning to stay or have a planned pickup time. At that young age doing a 9 or 10 pm pickup is best IMHO. And definitely never at a family you don't know really well. Even when you do know the family, weird things can happen at night.

[Anonymous]

Our 9yo had his first sleepover, aside from his cousins’ house, this year in 3rd grade. He’s now quickly had 3-4 of them. We reciprocated once. I frankly find them a huge pain as the kids don’t sleep and our child is very active with sports so doesn’t set up for a rested next day to say the least. I’d rather them be a rare treat.

Our 7yo was invited recently as well (oldest was never even invited at that age!). She was still 6 when she was invited. We declined … not ready and definitely not in a rush!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think our DD was 9 for her first sleepover, but she does have anxiety which 100% played a role. Now she's good at 2 friends homes. If there was a new one where she hasn't been to the house before that would probably be a rough one. Every kid is different. I was sleeping over at friends homes when I was 5, but I've always been a very independent, self sufficient person.

OP here. She's a little anxious too. She's never been to their house even for a regular playdate.

I'm kind of thinking about having her go for the party and then picking her up? I don't know... that would probably make it worse/weirder?

I don't think this is weird at all. Say she isn't comfortable doing sleepovers yet and pick her up at a certain time.

I guarantee you with kids that age there will be some middle of the night calls/pick ups. The host is nuts. No thanks.

Op here.. right?! I would not want to host this at all as a parent. My DD actually has done one sleepover party at just turned 6, but it was for her cousin's birthday so I was ok with it because it's family. But I was just shocked at how many of my niece's friends' parents were ok with a sleepover at 5 and 6.

I'm the parent of the anxious kid. What we did for that first one (and one before that wasn't successful) was to send her with everything she needed to sleepover, but if she didn't want to that was fine and we picked her up. We also let her know it was 100% fine for her to call at any point for us to pick her up. The unsuccessful time was around 1am. She felt better going knowing she had an out if she needed it.

You basically set her up for failure. Of course she should know o that for any kind of playdate, day or night she can always call home, but you sent the message that she wasn't ready to make it through the night. Better to go in planning to stay or have a planned pickup time. At that young age doing a 9 or 10 pm pickup is best IMHO. And definitely never at a family you don't know really well. Even when you do know the family, weird things can happen at night.

NP but do you even have a child with anxiety? Because you are way off here. My child would be so upset and embarrassed if I told her that I did not trust that she could make it through the night and was going to pick her up at 9pm while everyone else was staying over. On the other hand, she would be immensely grateful knowing that she had a safety blanket and could call me if she needed to - and she wouldn't necessarily do it, but it is helpful for her to know that she always has the option to leave whenever she stops feeling comfortable somewhere.

[Anonymous]

9 yo son's best buddy is a girl he's known since they were in daycare. When they were 4, he went with her to her uncle's farm and stayed the night there he had a blast. They've had sleepovers weekly since then and it's always been a joy to have her over.

[Anonymous]

2nd grade seems fine to me.

[Anonymous]

In 2nd grade, a lot of the kids seemed to have these mock sleepovers where you go over at 6 in your jammies, have pizza and cake, watch a movie, have pillow fights, whatever, and then go home at 10pm. I think that is much better for 7-8 year olds. then COVID hit, so we have not done any sleepovers.