Sleepovers

[Anonymous]

What age do you allow your child to attend sleepovers? The invitations are starting a lot younger than I would've expected. Like 6 and 7 years old. Besides my own family, there's only maybe one other of her friends' family that I would let her do a sleepover with. But I know that family well and the girls have known each other since they were infants.

We just got an invite for a 7th birthday party sleepover and I don't know the family particularly well (they seem like perfectly nice people though). I'm just not super comfortable with this. Am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Not overreacting. My kids started sleepovers at the end of 2nd grade with very close friends. It ramps up quickly but we decline a lot of invitations because we can't reciprocate the hosting or are busy with sports and in the later years, there is a lot of drama associated with who is invited and who is not and we preferred to keep our kid out of it.

[Anonymous]

We only do sleepovers with families we know very well, for years, and like. As in, close neighbors or friends they’ve had for preschool and we had been over to their house for dinners and parties several times before sleepovers. I would say the earliest was with our very best family friends at maybe 7.

[Anonymous]

I think our DD was 9 for her first sleepover, but she does have anxiety which 100% played a role. Now she's good at 2 friends homes. If there was a new one where she hasn't been to the house before that would probably be a rough one. Every kid is different. I was sleeping over at friends homes when I was 5, but I've always been a very independent, self sufficient person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We only do sleepovers with families we know very well, for years, and like. As in, close neighbors or friends they’ve had for preschool and we had been over to their house for dinners and parties several times before sleepovers. I would say the earliest was with our very best family friends at maybe 7.

OP here. The girls have known each other since they were like 3. But I've never socialized with the parents beyond school events and just seeing each other at birthday parties. And honestly only the mom at that. Not sure I've ever met the dad.

I'm not even sure my DD would be ok about doing a sleepover. I could very much picture having to pick her up in the middle of the night. I'm just surprised this is even a thing yet at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We only do sleepovers with families we know very well, for years, and like. As in, close neighbors or friends they’ve had for preschool and we had been over to their house for dinners and parties several times before sleepovers. I would say the earliest was with our very best family friends at maybe 7.

OP here. The girls have known each other since they were like 3. But I've never socialized with the parents beyond school events and just seeing each other at birthday parties. And honestly only the mom at that. Not sure I've ever met the dad.

I'm not even sure my DD would be ok about doing a sleepover. I could very much picture having to pick her up in the middle of the night. I'm just surprised this is even a thing yet at this age.

At least at that age, I’d want to know the whole family and have been inside their house before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think our DD was 9 for her first sleepover, but she does have anxiety which 100% played a role. Now she's good at 2 friends homes. If there was a new one where she hasn't been to the house before that would probably be a rough one. Every kid is different. I was sleeping over at friends homes when I was 5, but I've always been a very independent, self sufficient person.

OP here. She's a little anxious too. She's never been to their house even for a regular playdate.

I'm kind of thinking about having her go for the party and then picking her up? I don't know... that would probably make it worse/weirder?

[Anonymous]

That's too young and my 8 year old wouldn't want to to do a sleepover at a new house where she didn't know the family at all, I don't think.

I have multiple kids and the typical age I've seen more regular sleepovers start is late elementary and middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think our DD was 9 for her first sleepover, but she does have anxiety which 100% played a role. Now she's good at 2 friends homes. If there was a new one where she hasn't been to the house before that would probably be a rough one. Every kid is different. I was sleeping over at friends homes when I was 5, but I've always been a very independent, self sufficient person.

OP here. She's a little anxious too. She's never been to their house even for a regular playdate.

I'm kind of thinking about having her go for the party and then picking her up? I don't know... that would probably make it worse/weirder?

I don't think this is weird at all. Say she isn't comfortable doing sleepovers yet and pick her up at a certain time.

I guarantee you with kids that age there will be some middle of the night calls/pick ups. The host is nuts. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think our DD was 9 for her first sleepover, but she does have anxiety which 100% played a role. Now she's good at 2 friends homes. If there was a new one where she hasn't been to the house before that would probably be a rough one. Every kid is different. I was sleeping over at friends homes when I was 5, but I've always been a very independent, self sufficient person.

OP here. She's a little anxious too. She's never been to their house even for a regular playdate.

I'm kind of thinking about having her go for the party and then picking her up? I don't know... that would probably make it worse/weirder?

I don't think this is weird at all. Say she isn't comfortable doing sleepovers yet and pick her up at a certain time.

I guarantee you with kids that age there will be some middle of the night calls/pick ups. The host is nuts. No thanks.

Op here.. right?! I would not want to host this at all as a parent. My DD actually has done one sleepover party at just turned 6, but it was for her cousin's birthday so I was ok with it because it's family. But I was just shocked at how many of my niece's friends' parents were ok with a sleepover at 5 and 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think our DD was 9 for her first sleepover, but she does have anxiety which 100% played a role. Now she's good at 2 friends homes. If there was a new one where she hasn't been to the house before that would probably be a rough one. Every kid is different. I was sleeping over at friends homes when I was 5, but I've always been a very independent, self sufficient person.

OP here. She's a little anxious too. She's never been to their house even for a regular playdate.

I'm kind of thinking about having her go for the party and then picking her up? I don't know... that would probably make it worse/weirder?

I don't think this is weird at all. Say she isn't comfortable doing sleepovers yet and pick her up at a certain time.

I guarantee you with kids that age there will be some middle of the night calls/pick ups. The host is nuts. No thanks.

Op here.. right?! I would not want to host this at all as a parent. My DD actually has done one sleepover party at just turned 6, but it was for her cousin's birthday so I was ok with it because it's family. But I was just shocked at how many of my niece's friends' parents were ok with a sleepover at 5 and 6.

I'm the parent of the anxious kid. What we did for that first one (and one before that wasn't successful) was to send her with everything she needed to sleepover, but if she didn't want to that was fine and we picked her up. We also let her know it was 100% fine for her to call at any point for us to pick her up. The unsuccessful time was around 1am. She felt better going knowing she had an out if she needed it.

[Anonymous]

This is probably skewed by Covid, but my 9 yo /3rd grade DD has not gotten any sleepover invites from classmates.

We have had her very closest friends (they are neighbors) sleep over on two occasions. Once we were providing childcare, the other was more recent for a bday.

I would not let DD sleep over at anyone else's house yet (though in her mind, she'd love to) because she's a bit anxious and needs things just so to fall asleep.

[Anonymous]

I know plenty of families who do sleepovers at age 7. For us, that's a no. I'm sure covid plays in to it, but we have had limited exposure to other families homes, and I don't feel comfortable sending my kid to a home that I've never been in. I want to know more about the family, and the house, before feeling comfortable with this.

I wouldn't mind hosting a sleepover with one other child, around age 7 (which is my oldest' s age) - but even then I don't particularly want to do so. My son still sleeps 11ish hours every night, and goes to bed early, and having a sleepover just doesn't seem worthwhile or fun.

This is more of a 5th, 6th, 7th grade thing imo.

Sending young kids in to strangers homes is just not a good idea.

[Anonymous]

As soon as they think they're ready. One kid skipped off to sleep over at 5, one not until 9. Whenever they're ready.

[Anonymous]

My son has known his best friend since they were 2, she doesn't go to school with him but she's our neighbor. Sleepovers started as an occasional thing when they were in pre k and became a regular thing in k and are still a regular thing now that they're 5th graders, we're still very close with her family. So 2nd grade is fine for me, but I would strongly advise getting to know the other families and think about what would work best for your kid.