No one eats in this house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the Filet O Fish poster from the other thread, and I am sitting at MIL’s starving right now. Christmas breakfast was coffee and cinnamon rolls from a can. Thankfully we are going to FIL’s wife’s family’s Christmas lunch at noon - they put out a beautiful holiday spread.

What is your complaint about this? It's not from scratch (or low carb) but they're yummy and filling/high calorie. Was it not enough, or just not what you wanted?

NP. High calorie? Yes. Filling? No. Cinammon rolls or similar items need some protein to actually make it a meal with some staying power. Doesn't have to be much--a hard-boiled egg, some cheese, some yogurt. Cinammon rolls and coffee, while tasting good, will do nothing other than spike your blood sugar, crash it, and leave you hungry an hour later.

Yes, this was me an hour after eating my two cinnamon rolls. I am now at FIL’s wife’s family Christmas lunch, resting under a quilt on the sofa (since the thermostat is set much lower than we have it at home).The lunch was great and now I need a nap.

The same person complaining about how others behave and how nothing is ever good enough including cinnamon rolls and coffee on Christmas day feels it is good guest behavior to lie down on your FIL's wife's family's couch with a blanket to take a nap? The audacity of DCUM posters never ceases to amaze me . . . everyone else is flawed, yet you can do what you want and you're perfect, right?! Hopefully they'll talk about you and say -- my sister/niece's/whoever's husband's DIL felt it was ok to come to our house and plop her disgusting feet on my sofa and snooze . . . .

Where did I say I was lying down or napping? I said I was resting and needed a nap after that big lunch. I was sitting on the sofa with a quilt over my lap, just like 4 other family members who were doing the exact same thing.

[Anonymous]

Dinner time -- how's it going? Did everyone get a nice big Christmas dinner? Or were you fed a Christmas lunch that the hosts thought was so big at 2 pm that no one should need to eat again until Monday morning?

[Anonymous]

You do realize that if you are over 18 you are considered an adult in this country, right? If you're hungry, GO EAT!

Such babies. I feel sorry for your children.

[Anonymous]

Why do all of you stay in these homes? Can you not afford a $100 hotel room somewhere? I know it is hard to break from staying at your parents/in-laws homes if they are persistent, but you can just make up some excuse like you have to work on a project and need some time to work in the hotel business center. I would insist on a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the opposite at my IL's house. Holy shit, three GIANT meals a day. Eggs, bacon, biscuits, etc for breakfast, some unnecessary lunch mere hours later, then something heavy like cubed steak and mashed potatoes for dinner. I feel like all we do there is eat and then wash dishes and get ready to eat again.

Yup, this is what my Christmas was like. I think i gained 10 lbs. And I feel like I can't not eat...seems rude if my mother in law got up and made waffles for everyone.

[Anonymous]

For my in laws it’s a method of control. Their poor daughter has disordered eating and has all he rlife. After ONE weekend with them I learned my lesson. I pack food in my suitcase.

If that runs out, I tell them the kids need something from the grocery store, take a car and stock up on food. On the way home, go through the drive through. Dump trash at a gas station and get a pack of M and Ms for the ride back.

Sure, we’re all adults but asking for food, suggesting it’s time to eat a meal, firmly stating “I need three meals a day”, and offering to cook all get met with unsatisfactory responses. “We’re going to the grocery tomorrow” or “dinner time
Is at 9pm” or “you’re hungry AGAIN!!”

I realized long ago no one is going to take care of my needs so I must do it myself.
Go get yourself some damn food.

[Anonymous]

My mom is like this. She has been my whole life. One of my recurrent memories of childhood is of leaving the dinner table hungry, not because I didn't like what was served, but because the portions were so tiny, and she doesn't believe in seconds. It's not a money issue, we'd have tiny amounts of expensive food. Dinner might be one tiny lamb chop, maybe a 1/4 cup of defrosted frozen veggies, and one new potato. Then she'd announce that the kitchen was "closed", until breakfast which might be 1/2 an orange cut like a grapefruit. Luckily, by 9 or 10 I was babysitting and could supplement with my own income, but had to eat it all away from home.

One of the biggest power struggles I've had with my mother was about drinks at dinner. My mom feels very strongly that people need to eat what's put in front of them. Once she felt we kids were old enough, the only drink she'd put out for "nice" dinners was wine. I've never chosen to drink alcohol, and so I'd sit at the table with an empty wine glass. One day, I just got up and filled my glass with tap water. You'd think I'd have stolen something from her reaction. How dare I just help myself to something from her kitchen! Didn't I know how rude that was? Guests should only drink and eat what's offered! I should note that this was when I was home for vacation from college. I did win that battle, and water is now allowed at the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m Indian so it’s rare to have this problem as people keep feeding you or at least leave all kinds of food out so people can help themselves. Where I have run into this problem with Indian family is those who are ridiculously frugal. I’m sure they don’t want to host bc it costs money but it’s a culture where it’s hugely insulting to ask people to stay in a hotel esp when you have a mansion that could house guests for a weekend. Yet you can see their entire weekend is spent adding up - how much is this costing me. These are the types that have a closed kitchen so you can’t help yourself, they won’t offer breakfast until 11, for that breakfast they will offer you 1 piece of toast and give you the stink eye if you want a second slice, and then saw - wow breakfast was so late, no need for lunch. And they take offense at everything - if you bring home snacks for all to share or order up a few pizzas for everyone at 2 pm - you (and every relative of yours) are told - oh you don’t like me food, you don’t like how we’re hosting?! What gets me is that these are the types who are always worth several million dollars, requisite McMansion in Jersey, 2 Mercedes in the driveway and yet they can’t say - ok we have 5 visitors for 2 days, let’s add $500 to this week’s grocery/eating out budget.

If you know they are cheap hosts, why don't you get your own hotel room? And there is a difference between being a cheap host and being frugal. Cheap is not the same thing as being frugal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the starving in Suffolk, VA poster with expired eggs and canned food.

I'll address the questions posted earlier
- in laws are Irish and English (but I think mostly just American? Ancestors came 200 years ago)
- they really try to be nice but it seems the atmosphere is just more rigid and tense (not something I have ever experienced before but I'm really trying to be a nice house guest)
- this is my 2nd Christmas with them, and I want to have a good relationship so maybe I've been more accommodating than normal due to the respect your elders mantra drilled in to me
- we are driving to a grocery store 1 hour away to go shopping at an Open that is open!
- husband had a chat with his parents and said he's been hungry for 2 days now and we will bring fresh food home. His parents seemed confused but they want us to be comfortable so they said to please bring anything home that we like and his mom even gave me a list of things she needed. All in all a merry Christmas!

That’s nice.
Make sure to get stuff to make a cheese, fruit and veggie/hummus dip tray to whip out regularly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is like this. She has been my whole life. One of my recurrent memories of childhood is of leaving the dinner table hungry, not because I didn't like what was served, but because the portions were so tiny, and she doesn't believe in seconds. It's not a money issue, we'd have tiny amounts of expensive food. Dinner might be one tiny lamb chop, maybe a 1/4 cup of defrosted frozen veggies, and one new potato. Then she'd announce that the kitchen was "closed", until breakfast which might be 1/2 an orange cut like a grapefruit. Luckily, by 9 or 10 I was babysitting and could supplement with my own income, but had to eat it all away from home.

One of the biggest power struggles I've had with my mother was about drinks at dinner. My mom feels very strongly that people need to eat what's put in front of them. Once she felt we kids were old enough, the only drink she'd put out for "nice" dinners was wine. I've never chosen to drink alcohol, and so I'd sit at the table with an empty wine glass. One day, I just got up and filled my glass with tap water. You'd think I'd have stolen something from her reaction. How dare I just help myself to something from her kitchen! Didn't I know how rude that was? Guests should only drink and eat what's offered! I should note that this was when I was home for vacation from college. I did win that battle, and water is now allowed at the table.

Is your mom anorexicly thin? She might be trying to pass that down to you which is terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the Filet O Fish poster from the other thread, and I am sitting at MIL’s starving right now. Christmas breakfast was coffee and cinnamon rolls from a can. Thankfully we are going to FIL’s wife’s family’s Christmas lunch at noon - they put out a beautiful holiday spread.

What is your complaint about this? It's not from scratch (or low carb) but they're yummy and filling/high calorie. Was it not enough, or just not what you wanted?

NP. High calorie? Yes. Filling? No. Cinammon rolls or similar items need some protein to actually make it a meal with some staying power. Doesn't have to be much--a hard-boiled egg, some cheese, some yogurt. Cinammon rolls and coffee, while tasting good, will do nothing other than spike your blood sugar, crash it, and leave you hungry an hour later.

Yes, this was me an hour after eating my two cinnamon rolls. I am now at FIL’s wife’s family Christmas lunch, resting under a quilt on the sofa (since the thermostat is set much lower than we have it at home).The lunch was great and now I need a nap.

The same person complaining about how others behave and how nothing is ever good enough including cinnamon rolls and coffee on Christmas day feels it is good guest behavior to lie down on your FIL's wife's family's couch with a blanket to take a nap? The audacity of DCUM posters never ceases to amaze me . . . everyone else is flawed, yet you can do what you want and you're perfect, right?! Hopefully they'll talk about you and say -- my sister/niece's/whoever's husband's DIL felt it was ok to come to our house and plop her disgusting feet on my sofa and snooze . . . .

Where did I say I was lying down or napping? I said I was resting and needed a nap after that big lunch. I was sitting on the sofa with a quilt over my lap, just like 4 other family members who were doing the exact same thing.

Yeah. My inlaws don't eat and they nap constantly. Yesterday afternoon literally everyone but my son and I were asleep for hours. In every room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dinner time -- how's it going? Did everyone get a nice big Christmas dinner? Or were you fed a Christmas lunch that the hosts thought was so big at 2 pm that no one should need to eat again until Monday morning?

I served light appetizers for lunch and then a big dinner at 3 followed by dessert. After that, no more food - nada, zip. I'm still not that hungry this morning and my feet are sore from standing in the kitchen making that nice meal yesterday, so I'm not making breakfast this morning. Burger King is only a short 5 mile walk away.

Signed,

The Host

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do all of you stay in these homes? Can you not afford a $100 hotel room somewhere? I know it is hard to break from staying at your parents/in-laws homes if they are persistent, but you can just make up some excuse like you have to work on a project and need some time to work in the hotel business center. I would insist on a hotel.

I think most of them see it as a way to save money. Save money then bitch about not eating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Italian mother in me is horrified to hear that people are hungry.

Are all these people not feeding you nordic Europeans? Irish?

I can't imagine having guests in your house, and not offering them a staggering amount of food.

If you don't have a ton of leftovers after Christmas that means you didn't do it right.

Italians are the best hosts! Out of all the European cultures here in America Italians are the only ones who actually feed people and are hospitable to guests. It is definitely a quality that other white folks lack. There have been numerous threads on DCUM about white people in the northeast not feeding guests. Why do people invite people over their homes and refuse to feed them? In my culture its considered rude to not provide meals for house guests. It will hurt me to know that a person is starving at my house.

Have you ever been to the South? You're not going hungry at a Southern home.

Agree with this! It’s unthinkable for a Southern host not to have plenty of good and drink out for guests IME. We always tell guests to help themselves and offer food and drinks regularly. We don’t each much ourselves - in case y’all think we’re huge - it’s just good manners to make sure people have what they need and don’t have to ask! I was raised that you have to be thinking about the comfort of your guests regularly. By the same token, making sure the parents to their liking, they’re warm or cool enough, have the linens, other things they need, etc. If I was at home didn’t extend me the same courtesy, I’d respect the houses rules of course, but you better believe I’d be out getting food if my family was hungry!

Weddings in the south are the worst. Never good or enough food.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but are your in laws and/or parents fat? The way most of you sound, it’s as if they all have eating disorders.