My eleven year old wants to read romance novels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a romance novel, of course, but I highly recommend it.

Maybe He Just Likes You
by Barbara Dee

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07P56K21Y/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

If I were you, I'd slip this book in with a few very sweet, benign early teen romances (like Sweet Valley High - books that involve crushes, some flirting, and maybe a kiss or a date at the end . . . )

Going back to Maybe He Just Likes You, I read it first, then gave it to DD, who devoured it and then passed it on to a few friends, who read it, too.

And though DD is not a big "talker" when it comes middle school social life, we've had good conversations about the book. Not all at once - small snippets here and there -- what she thought was realistic, what wasn't, what types of similar things she's noticed/heard from/about her classmates etc.

More than anything else, it helped us talk a bit about boundaries and opened up a line of communication for the future . . . .

Anyway, sorry to co-opt this thread. But IMO, this should be required reading for all middle schoolers - girls and boys, both.

Wow I could have used this in middle school with so much unwanted touching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I allow my kids to read whatever they want on their. If they're too young for it - it will go over their heads like Judy Blume says. I know that from experience. I was "allowed" to read Interview with a Vampire when I was in 5th grade, and I think that was the right call by my parents.

+1. Reading novels is about the safest possible way for an 11 year old to be exploring her sexuality.

I agree! You could try and gift her romance novels that have more appropriate gender/relationship dynamics than they ones I read as a teen but honestly I don’t think censoring them will help her explore what she wants and reading about it is way better than Instagram or experimenting with other kids.

Another +1! My parents never censored my reading and I was into Kathleen Woodiwiss and V.C. Andrews by the age of 9. I didn't understand a lot of what was going on but it made for interesting reading. And I also think today's romances are leaps and bounds better. A Lisa Kleypas Regency romance, for instance, is going to have sex scenes but they are very explicitly consensual and focus on both partners - a far cry from the super-rapey novels of the 80s and earlier 90s.

[Anonymous]

I felt the same way with my 6th grade strong reader DD. I relented slowly (and book by book - I think we started with the Twighlight series and all those books about dying like 5 Feet Apart or whatever its called.) She is a mature, good student, pulls her weight at home, is a good sister, and gets compliments all the time from school.

She's 14 now and still loves to read these books. I'm not big into romance books but I have friends who are and they help guide me on "its fine if she reads a, b, c" but don't let her read anything by x, y, z author yet."

[Anonymous]

Wendy Mass is a great kids' writer, and her "Willow Falls" series is perfect for the 10-13 year old crowd.

Though they're not straight up "romances," I think the romantic subplots build as the series unfolds. (The characters get older with each book, and their interests mature with them.)

https://www.amazon.com/Willow-Falls-5-Book-Wendy-Mass/dp/B0892PQ4Z1

[Anonymous]

The Sun is Also a Star, by Nicola Yoon

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DRXCPW2/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Definitely a sweet romance (in terms of the character's feelings) but also quite thoughtful and substantive. I think DD read it at 11 or maybe 12?

[Anonymous]

I never read romance novels but it’s a vast genre, right? They’re pumping out new ones all the time, some of them must be better.

Don’t forget to give her the Alice series by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. IMO one of the best at “mature” content for younger readers. I haven’t gone back to see if any of it needs to be updated though so maybe you should read them first.

Madeleine L’Engel also has some somewhat racy books that I think hold up okay even though they are genuinely old at this point.

As far as explicitness, too late, she’s 11, it’s happening. But I do think trying to steer to richer literature is good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never read romance novels but it’s a vast genre, right? They’re pumping out new ones all the time, some of them must be better.

Don’t forget to give her the Alice series by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. IMO one of the best at “mature” content for younger readers. I haven’t gone back to see if any of it needs to be updated though so maybe you should read them first.

Madeleine L’Engel also has some somewhat racy books that I think hold up okay even though they are genuinely old at this point.

As far as explicitness, too late, she’s 11, it’s happening. But I do think trying to steer to richer literature is good.

PS re: L’Engle I am thinking specifically of The Moon By Night, A Ring of Endless Light, House Like a Lotus, An Acceptable Time, to start. House Like A Lotus has lesbianism and a semi-assault but all in all I think it holds up. A Ring of Endless Light has a hunk who can ESP with dolphins so that’s the winner for me!!

[Anonymous]

Give her Forever by Judy Blume to read. I remember checking it out of the library when I was 12, and loved it. And then I read the VC Andrews books - OMG those were insane. I also read some of my grandmother's racy romance novels that she left lying around at that age, and I'm fine.

Reading is awesome and you should encourage it as much as possible. Maybe draw the line at the really graphic hard core stuff, but some light romance should be ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give her Forever by Judy Blume to read. I remember checking it out of the library when I was 12, and loved it. And then I read the VC Andrews books - OMG those were insane. I also read some of my grandmother's racy romance novels that she left lying around at that age, and I'm fine.

Reading is awesome and you should encourage it as much as possible. Maybe draw the line at the really graphic hard core stuff, but some light romance should be ok.

+1. Be glad your kid wants to read and isn’t attached to screens. I read all sorts of junk at that age and like other PPs said, some of these books went way over my head but that was fine. No need to censor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a romance novel, of course, but I highly recommend it.

Maybe He Just Likes You
by Barbara Dee

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07P56K21Y/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1



Anyway, sorry to co-opt this thread. But IMO, this should be required reading for all middle schoolers - girls and boys, both.

I 100% agree.

That said, there are plenty of clean romances out there. Kasie West writes them. Beverly Cleary's teen romances novels are sweet, though dated. The Love and Gelato series is good. Tweet Cute is fun. The Selection series doesn't go much beyond kissing and it's essentially a dystopian Bachelor.

[Anonymous]

OP, I wouldn't impede and you certainly aren't going to promote. If she gets her hands on them, don't take them away. But do not provide them or buy them or let them be the choice when you're buying or getting from the library. I wouldn't talk about it, one way or another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wouldn't impede and you certainly aren't going to promote. If she gets her hands on them, don't take them away. But do not provide them or buy them or let them be the choice when you're buying or getting from the library. I wouldn't talk about it, one way or another.

Strangest take on the thread.

[Anonymous]

Would she be interested in the romance graphic novel Gender Queer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No

+1. Why is she specifically asking for romance novels. Honestly that sounds like an odd category for her to be seeking out at the age of 11.

That sounds like a very normal age to start feeling alot of those hormones that make romance novels popular

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give her Forever by Judy Blume to read. I remember checking it out of the library when I was 12, and loved it. And then I read the VC Andrews books - OMG those were insane. I also read some of my grandmother's racy romance novels that she left lying around at that age, and I'm fine.

Reading is awesome and you should encourage it as much as possible. Maybe draw the line at the really graphic hard core stuff, but some light romance should be ok.

Nice to meet you DCUM twin.