If you have three and the first two were close together in age...

[Anonymous]

Our first two are 18 months apart. Third child is three years after the second.

We’re happy with this arrangement. The middle child gets along well with both. Sometimes I feel the youngest is a little left out, but he also gets a lot more attention since he’s the baby and he has more experienced parents who aren’t figuring it all out for the first time. If anything, I feel the older two were a little deprived because they got less attention since it was crazy having them so close together, then we had our third who was a bad sleeper and our hardest kid. Overall I don’t have regrets about the age spread with my kids.

[Anonymous]

First two are 19 months apart. Our third is 4 years younger than the middle child. It's a great age difference because middle child was in full-time PK by the time third was born. Made it much easier.

Third child is easy going, probably because she was taken everywhere as a baby and as she was growing up. Would nap where ever, wouldn't mind if schedule was off one day. Third child in most families is usually the easy going, flexible one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First two are exactly two years apart. Child three followed 3.5 years later. Much prefer the 3.5 year gap. Everything was just so much easier, even given that then there were 2 children instead of 3.

The younger two children are closer (in the bonded sense) than the older two despite the larger age difference.

Exactly the same here. My three are BGG, and the two girls are complete best friends despite the 3.5 year difference. My first two were inseparable too when they were little.

[Anonymous]

Two girls thirteen months apart (ooops failed birthbcontrol). Number three girl will be almost 4.5 years behind the current youngest.

I have a feeling I might remember more than I did with the first two. I'll let you know - due soon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long did you wait to have the third? And how do you feel about the age gap (between #2 and #3)? Do you wish it was different? Pros/cons?

I'm specifically looking for people whose first two were less than two years apart, and who generally felt good about that gap for the first two.

If you could give a short description of your overall parenting style, at least for littles, that would help, too (schedule driven, go with the flow, attachment, etc)

My first two are 25 months apart. Then three years before the youngest. The older two share a room. It can definitely seem the the older two are a pair and the youngest is an add-on, especially when they were younger. But now the youngest is four, and the younger two are the pair who love pretending and the oldest has his own stuff. All boys.

[Anonymous]

This is from the perspective of many years down the road...my H's older brother is two years older. And the younger brother is 11 years younger.

The pros were that my H and BIL took care of younger BIL when he was a baby/toddler. Which meant when we had our baby, my H had more experience with babies than I did! Another pro is that my ILs made sure to encourage the relationship between the older brothers and younger one. Things like before cells and email, my H would always fly in for younger brother's birthday. He would call despite long-distance. And when MIL had a conference in our area, she'd bring younger BIL and he would stay with us for the weekend. To this day all brothers are close and communicate regularly.

The cons is that younger BIL can be very set in his ways, probably due to being an "only" child for much of his childhood and teenage years. There is also a certain dynamic that plays out between the brothers that always comes into play when all three are together (oldest BIL knows best, youngest BIL trying to prove something, my H trying to smooth things over). There's not much triangle stuff going on with them (meaning two brothers talk about the third brother etc) but I could see that happening in other situations...three can be a hard number sometimes, with someone always "left out."

Not sure if this helps, but my perspective of marrying into a family of three siblings with a big gap almost 30 years ago.

[Anonymous]

So, not quite what you’re asking, but my first two are thirty months (2.5 years) apart - nearly to the day. My DH and I weren’t actively trying but also weren’t taking precautions and I am due with our third. The kids will be 8 and nearly 6, and I’m thrilled at the prospect. I think they’re still little enough they’ll enjoy having a baby/toddler around but old enough that I won’t be as overwhelmed as I was when they were both under five. Very happy.

[Anonymous]

4 years

Kids are 6,5, and 1 and it’s so perfect.

[Anonymous]

22 months between 1 and 2, 25 months between 2 and 3. Happy with that age gap, would have also liked a bit closer in age.

I’m a very relaxed parent in terms of anxiety (I have very little anxiety about the kids - people have been raising kids for millennia and they are going to be all right). That being said, I’m highly organized, both DH and I work full time, and I have high expectations for my kids. Two of my kids also have special needs which require therapy/tutoring.

I love that my kids all play together, explore the world together, and look out for each other. The oldest and youngest play together the least, but no one is ever left out for long. They do squabble a fair amount, but I think that’s normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First two are 19 months apart. Our third is 4 years younger than the middle child. It's a great age difference because middle child was in full-time PK by the time third was born. Made it much easier.

Third child is easy going, probably because she was taken everywhere as a baby and as she was growing up. Would nap where ever, wouldn't mind if schedule was off one day. Third child in most families is usually the easy going, flexible one.

I had to look at the date because I thought I wrote this post. Exact same situation. I loved have my first two close together and I love the larger gap between #2 and #3. All siblings are close and our third is so fun, easy-going, hilarious.

[Anonymous]

My first two (both girls) are 19 months apart and then my third (boy) is 3.5 years younger than second. So girls were 3 and 5 when the third was born. So far it’s been great! Girls are really close with each other but love third brother. And their brother thinks the girls are the best thing since sliced bread. I am very very glad our third wasn’t a girl just for the relationship dynamic of 3 girls. The combo we have has worked very well. They are now 2, 5 and 7.