Marrying love of your life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:True chemical fireworks and “Chasing Amy” type of romantic love is rare. It doesn’t last in that form but in even rarer cases it morphs into a lasting, deep, passionate, genuine love.

I like this and it feels true in my experience.

Will also add that love and marriage are very different beasts. In love you want to see and be seen in your best light. Adore each other, make each other happy, be happy yourself. You can have this in marriage but marriage is mainly set up as a social institution to stabilize families for the purpose of raising kids and other kinds of kinship and caretaking. Marriage is a practical partnership oriented to external goals. It is also a relationship that often shows you the worst side of your partner and yourself. For a marriage to work you need practical compatibility and you both need to be able to subordinate your own happiness to a larger goal. You also need to be willing to put in the work to face your inner issues and grow together. If it gets to the point that there is a real mismatch in where you are, either in relation to external goals or internal work, then it’s possible to love or have loved the person but no longer be in a good marriage with them.

This may be the best summary I have ever read. Who are you/what do you do.

[Anonymous]

I don’t believe in “the one” but I definitely married a person I loved deeply and I had never loved anyone as much before. I still love him deeply and often have staring-into-each-ofhers’-eyes tingles. But I think the more important part of love is just commitment, being there for somebody, and seeing who they actually are rather than what they can do for you. Love is a feeling and it is action that engenders trust and security. (Married fifteen years btw)

I know we have had our moments of irritation and even regret about getting married, but when things are good it’s oddly hard to remember what that feels like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's totally real. Married to the love of my life

This, until she died

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:True chemical fireworks and “Chasing Amy” type of romantic love is rare. It doesn’t last in that form but in even rarer cases it morphs into a lasting, deep, passionate, genuine love.

I like this and it feels true in my experience.

Will also add that love and marriage are very different beasts. In love you want to see and be seen in your best light. Adore each other, make each other happy, be happy yourself. You can have this in marriage but marriage is mainly set up as a social institution to stabilize families for the purpose of raising kids and other kinds of kinship and caretaking. Marriage is a practical partnership oriented to external goals. It is also a relationship that often shows you the worst side of your partner and yourself. For a marriage to work you need practical compatibility and you both need to be able to subordinate your own happiness to a larger goal. You also need to be willing to put in the work to face your inner issues and grow together. If it gets to the point that there is a real mismatch in where you are, either in relation to external goals or internal work, then it’s possible to love or have loved the person but no longer be in a good marriage with them.

This may be the best summary I have ever read. Who are you/what do you do.

I’m a bartender on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's totally real. Married to the love of my life

This, until she died

I’m sorry for your loss.