Marrying love of your life

[Anonymous]

I know real love is overrated, chemical and can dilute or expire but how many of you felt it? Married it? Lost it? I doesn't mean exaggerated display of love on social media posts or pictures but writing on your hearts.

[Anonymous]

Love is real. The issue is true lasting love is hard to find. It boils down to this: Marry your best friend. But, very few people get the chance to do this.

[Anonymous]

Dh and I have been married for 22 years. We are still in love. We have been faithful, kind and have grown together over time. We have children who we want to grow up happy and in a stable home. We respect each other and give each other space when we need it. We work together to solve problems and to withstand difficulties. We have a history of loving each other and enjoying our lives together...even on our worst days, we hug and kiss and say "I love you".

[Anonymous]

True chemical fireworks and “Chasing Amy” type of romantic love is rare. It doesn’t last in that form but in even rarer cases it morphs into a lasting, deep, passionate, genuine love.

[Anonymous]

Lost it twice. Married after without love. Divorced.

[Anonymous]

I was really in love with my ex for over 10 years. When the responsibility of kids was added he fell apart and l fell out of love. I still love him but more like a brother now. He’s still family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:True chemical fireworks and “Chasing Amy” type of romantic love is rare. It doesn’t last in that form but in even rarer cases it morphs into a lasting, deep, passionate, genuine love.

I like this and it feels true in my experience.

Will also add that love and marriage are very different beasts. In love you want to see and be seen in your best light. Adore each other, make each other happy, be happy yourself. You can have this in marriage but marriage is mainly set up as a social institution to stabilize families for the purpose of raising kids and other kinds of kinship and caretaking. Marriage is a practical partnership oriented to external goals. It is also a relationship that often shows you the worst side of your partner and yourself. For a marriage to work you need practical compatibility and you both need to be able to subordinate your own happiness to a larger goal. You also need to be willing to put in the work to face your inner issues and grow together. If it gets to the point that there is a real mismatch in where you are, either in relation to external goals or internal work, then it’s possible to love or have loved the person but no longer be in a good marriage with them.

[Anonymous]

Married the love of my life. We instantly fell in love and always clicked. 15 years later life is crazy with 3 under 5 but we’re best friends and the best parents together. We just get each other. He’s definitely my partner for life. We still have date nights every week and go alway for a week a year by ourselves to exotic places. I know our relationship is rare so I don’t say much to other people. He’s the best man I’ve ever met in my entire life.

[Anonymous]

It's totally real. Married to the love of my life

[Anonymous]

You are married to the love of your life if you're committed to them and choose to be loving toward them as much as possible.

[Anonymous]

Married him. He did something that killed the love. We are still married but he laments that he feels like I don’t love him like I used to. He’s right, I don’t. But I still love him enough to stay.

[Anonymous]

I think love is based on trust and sacrifice, if you are only in it for good times and fireworks, its self love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:True chemical fireworks and “Chasing Amy” type of romantic love is rare. It doesn’t last in that form but in even rarer cases it morphs into a lasting, deep, passionate, genuine love.

Agree with this. Passion doesn't last decades.

[Anonymous]

I have it, but now we make appointments for sex! Having a kid really burnt us out. But I know that we are OK, and that we will recover when we have more time to ourselves. For me, it is that we like/love each other, and usually have mutual confidence in that (sometimes either one needs reassurance), we have a lot in common, we are weird in similar ways, the same intelligence level, the same level of openness about the world, we are both forgiving of the other. We got together based on crazy attraction, stayed together because we were kindred minds, and married because we were a perfect fit and could not imagine not doing it.

I feel extremely lucky, but I should add we are not perfect people, and if we had other spouses, probably would make them miserable.

[Anonymous]

When we were dating, my future husband said, “Love is a choice.” I have lived with that philosophy ever since.