| My DD is a freshman in college. Friend drama was the worst her senior year. Actually, way worse than any middle school drama. |
+1 It's the year everyone is stressed about getting into colleges and they start "shedding" friendships. Horrible. |
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OP here- I’m sorry that others’ girls are experiencing it too…it’s so hard because (at least for mine) there’s little energy/incentive to find a new group.
I hope things turn for the better for all of them… |
Maybe that’s it. I know at least 3 female friend groups this happened within as seniors. It was vicious. |
x100000000 OP, they are in high school. We went through this, snd my Dc moved on to different friends. It is an important life lesson. They have shown you their true colors. Believe them. |
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Op, it's better to just have one/two solid friend(s) in HS in this case instead of a group. Don't make it a big deal, do not allow those toxic people into your head! Tone out as much as she can!
She will make a new group of long friendships in college. |
| It’s very hard as a senior to switch groups. There isn’t much time left. Provide support and help her look forward. The other hard lesson is that the friends weren’t what they seemed. Genuine friends don’t pull that and definitely don’t stand by and let it happen. I have to say I don’t remember this happening so much as junior and senior back when we grew up - am I wrong? It was mostly middle school stuff and by late high school we seemed to have matured past this. |
Also one male friend group as seniors. |
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Just saw this...yes, DD is experiencing it. It is like middle school all over again...there is literally one girl who is ruling the roost and being super manipulative (and these girls are falling for it hook, line, and sinker.)
So upsetting and seems like such a strange time (2nd semester senior year!!!) for these girls to let this happen to what had been fairly drama-free group dynamics...and devastating for my DD who is on the receiving end of a lot of the nastiness. |
| What I saw a lot of when my step DD was a junior/senior (and def one of the popular girls) was the girls totally judging other girls for their boyfriends. So it’s like if one group decided to be “casual daters” and just hang out with guys and one girl decided to get more serious with one specific guy they would shut her out. |
| That's not what's going on here...I don't think any of these girls have boyfriends (or girlfriends)...I think it's more "social climbing"...a small subset want to be more popular and think if they exclude certain girls it will help them fit in with the "in" crowd.... |
| Exactly. The power from excluding someone from a group automatically makes that group more, well, exclusive. I wonder if exposing this would help at all. It's toxic and getting worse and the school counselors don't seem to be able to do anything about it. I'm so sorry your daughter is going through this, OP...I was a withdrawn bookish kid in high school, to avoid the conflict. My parents worried sick about me, but the alternative --interacting with the groups--seemed more terrifying and unhealthy to me, particularly when drugs or alcohol were involved. Perhaps being "dropped" by certain people is a blessing in disguise, but it sure is painful. |
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Have your daughter talk to her school Counselor, they understand the drama all too well and can give her guidance to navigate it.
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| If she hasn’t experienced this until her senior year, it is very possible that she was once the mean girl, and is not used to the tables being turned on her. Usually by senior year the non-mean girls will have the knowledge on how to stay away from this type of drama. |
Classic! A perfect post from a mean adult - lovely! |