High school girl friend drama?
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Anonymous
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Sigh. I thought we were done with this in middle school but the mean girl bs is back, high school (senior!) edition. Exclusion, gaslighting, etc. I feel so bad for my DD who was just so happy to be back in-person and wants to finish her senior year without all the drama.
Is anyone else dealing with this? I'm wondering if it's pandemic related? My vague recollection was by the time we were seniors in high school this nonsense was over. |
Anonymous
Spend any time on DCUM and you'll see that it never ends for some females. |
Anonymous
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It's a good time to learn to grey rock.
https://queenbeeing.com/toxic-relationship-recovery-using-gray-rock-method-safely/#:~:text=The%20grey%20rock%20method%20is%20a%20form%20of,and%20refrain%20from%20making%20him%20or%20her%20wrong. This will come handy at work, with her 1st toxic boyfriend, toxic family, MIL's, etc. Time to learn. |
Anonymous
I seriously doubt it. You were either oblivious, or one of the mean girls. It’s the norm, but less blunt. |
Anonymous
| Sometimes it's easy to pay attention to the people you WANT to be friends with or the people you USED to hang out with when you went to a specific place. But that may not be in your best interest so the first thing to do after recognizing that is look around at who is trying to get YOUR attention. While you've been chasing the mean popular girl, what nice drama-free girl has been chasing you? Turn your attention to that girl. Sure, she may not be as popular or exciting, but she's kind and low drama and smart. |
Anonymous
I recall that everyone regressed a little bit during the second half of senior year. There was more petty drama than the year before. In my experience, some people get over the nonsense in middle school, but other people really do not. Your daughter will ultimately benefit from not spending time with the dramamongers, but it is painful to be excluded. I hope she has other, less toxic social outlets. |
Anonymous
| Is it possible the other girl is attracted to your DD and wants to date her, but has an off way of showing it? |
Anonymous
| Not so much my DD‘s experience, but I knew of quite a few friends drama situations among older high school girls pre-covid. it surprised me because I also thought that was more middle school territory. Sorry your girl is dealing with it though, they’ve had a difficult enough ride these last few years. |
Anonymous
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Yes, my recollection is that it was done by upper grade high school too.
But not true in DD’s school. It’s fricking operatic. I think it’s due to social media and anonymous postings. |
Anonymous
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Yeah for me there was a ton of this in middle school but none that I personally experienced after I hit 11th grade.
On a related note: I wonder if we should be calling this “conflict” instead of “drama?” It seems like “drama” minimizes the seriousness of it and suggests you just need to tough it out until graduation, whereas if something is labeled “conflict” the response might be more solutions-focused. |
Anonymous
Definitely not--it's mostly excluding her (and a couple of others in their group)... |
Anonymous
| I think a lot of teens ended up socially stunted or regressing. I also think too many are angry and spending too much free time obsessing over social media. They don't have enough outlets and clubs and sports stop and start again adding too much disruption. There are always mean girls, but I think there are more mean girls AND boys since and because of the pandemic. |
Anonymous
OP here...um, no. Serious nerd in high school. Actually, still a serious nerd. And I was pretty attuned to the mean girl dynamics throughout middle school and early high school so I'd be surprised if I suddenly became oblivious to it. |
Anonymous
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I’m sorry to hear about this, but I understand. My daughter is experiencing this too. It has taken her by surprise and she is feeling excluded/rejected by some
close friends. She is really sad and feeling adrift. I’m hoping she can weather this without too much hurt and make some positive connections with others. It’s hard some of these girls have been her friends for over 10 years. It can be really hard to be a teen and especially with social media factored in. Best of luck to your daughter |
Anonymous
| Yes!!! My daughter is a senior also. I am so heartbroken for her as she has been excluded from her friend group as well. |