If you’re a woman who “doesn’t cook at all”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No DH “enjoys” cooking everyday. If your DH does, that just means he cannot handle your cooking. Shame!

My DH grew up in a large Italian family where all of the men cook, including his grandfather. It's definitely something they like to do. DH does 99% of the cooking in our house.

[Anonymous]

Before I had kids we never cooked. We ate out nightly. Once we had kids, we moved to an area that make take out lore boring and harder to get. So, I started making things. I wouldn’t call it cooking. We still get takeout 3-4 nights a week.

[Anonymous]

My SIL will chop veggies, cook pasta, or dump ingredients in a crockpot. My brother enjoys cooking and makes a few of their meals a week.

And no judgement here! I love to cook, but I’m not a relaxed cook, especially with little kids in the mix. I generally make pretty simple stuff to avoid the stress and the clean up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cook, but didn't really when I met my DH. One of the things that attracted me to him is that he is a good cook, and loves to do it, and is ambitious about what he makes. When we first started dating and living together, he cooked and I cleaned.

But living with him demystified cooking for me, and I started doing it more. Just really basic things initially but then trying out more things and now I actually think we're pretty on par. One reason I started cooking is that I noticed we ate his favorite foods a lot and mine less often, because of course he was doing the meal planning and then when we ate out we took turns picking. So learning to cook at least a few things that I crave often and find really satisfying was a no brainer, because it's easy to get someone to agree to what you'd like for dinner if you are the one who is going to make it.

Once you get into cooking it's hard to stop. I bought a couple cookbooks I like and found some blogs I enjoy, and that gets me thinking about new dishes and wanting to learn how to make more things. At this point, a lot of my family's favorite meals are recipes I found and made the first time, though since DH and I split cooking duties, he's as likely to make them as I am at this point, or we make them together. But I feel really comfortable in the kitchen at this point and it's kind of crazy to me that I didn't really learn to cook until I was in my mid-30s.

I don't think it's that hard to keep your kitchen clean when you cook. You need it to be organized and you have to get used to doing certain things very regularly (cleaning the oven, stove top, and microwave; degreasing surfaces near the stove; cleaning out the fridge and freezer; scouring the sink). But if you do them often they don't even take a long time because you don't get build up. Plus this part is relatively easy to outsource if are willing to pay.

You’re right. I am a messy cook, seasoning misses the pan and goes all over the stove, things boil over, splatter near the stove, etc. It feels like I have to clean my stove top grates and pans every time I cook and I hate it.

[Anonymous]

I’m a SAHM and I had an “I don’t cook” era. My husband and kids were constantly giving me unsolicited critiques on my food and sometimes none of them wound eat it. So I hit a wall and just served frozen food for about a year and a half. Sometimes it was takeout and I still would make pasta and p b and j for lunches, but mostly frozen meals.

Now I do cook a few times a week but I stopped making labor-intensive things. That year and a half was great though. I needed the re-set and now nobody gives me unsolicited criticism on my food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM who doesn’t cook. I feel very embarrassed by this, but DH enjoys cooking and while he’s not picky, he only eats good food cooked well. While my kids would choke down dry chicken, DH would not. So it works out well for all of us.

I can cook. I have two or three meals that I can be counted on. But “making dinner” for me is reheating and assembly and cooking vegetables.

So what do you do all day?

You suck. I am sure she is quite busy raising children, running a household, errands, extracurriculars, etc. Even to assemble, marketing must be done.

Can you not even let this poster respond for herself?

[Anonymous]

I don’t cook, but my husband does. I am a SAHM and I “assemble“ food for my children (usually cut fruit/veggies, pasta/rice and a meat/cheese). I can make quesadillas and eggs, things like that. I don’t like touching raw meats and dirty plates. I‘m just not a foodie, I would eat cold sandwiches and protein bars if I weren’t married. Sometimes I just skip meals because it’s too much effort to make food, sit down and clean up.

[Anonymous]

My husband cooks. My kiddos and l would happily survive on fortified cheerios and milk, and gummy vitamins…so he has not choice 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM and I had an “I don’t cook” era. My husband and kids were constantly giving me unsolicited critiques on my food and sometimes none of them wound eat it. So I hit a wall and just served frozen food for about a year and a half. Sometimes it was takeout and I still would make pasta and p b and j for lunches, but mostly frozen meals.

Now I do cook a few times a week but I stopped making labor-intensive things. That year and a half was great though. [i]I needed the re-set and now nobody gives me unsolicited criticism on my food.

[b]

Love it. My covid-home-from-college daughter went through quite the food critic stage with an ever-evolving list of restrictions and demands. I began serving a lot of frozen chicken strips and steamed broccoli and suggested she cook if she wanted something different. Miraculously silent at dinner time, now.

[Anonymous]

I love to cook, but loathe cleaning. So DH does all the cleaning, which is excellent for me.

[Anonymous]

My DH loves to cook elaborate meals so I don’t even bother. I just let him make what he wants. I would make chili with like 5 ingredients. He wants to grind the meat at home and make a recipe with 32 ingredients and 25 steps. He makes pan grilled fish and beautiful salads for lunch (at home). I microwave my kid’s leftover chipotle burrito for myself.

[Anonymous]

I will tell you exactly how I live my life op! I don’t cook but I do assemble. I have three kids and a husband who grills or smokes meat once a week so there’s one day. One day I shred a rotisserie chicken and open a can of beans and make quesadillas. One day I will cut up fruits and cheeses and make everyone bagels with cream cheese. One day we might do pasta and a bag of frozen broccoli. I use a lot of pre grilled chicken from Costco to make salads or paninis. I dunno it never seems to be an issue. No one is underweight or overweight etc etc. We don’t even really do take out much, maybe once or twice a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is an excellent cook who has taken cooking classes, cooks to relax, talked about how excited he was to teach our unborn babies how to cook, etc. He's that guy. Comes home from work and can't wait to roll up his sleeves and start humming along with music as he checks what can be plucked from the garden and creates a feast everyone will love. And we do.

When I cook, it's one of about four or five things, and although it's good, it's not great. And I HATE cooking. I am never "in the zone" as he is. I don't find it meditative, it doesn't calm me down, and there's just nothing appealing at all about it to me. I do it when I have to and when I sense I should give DH a break.

We each have our strengths.

This is my husband, too. I don't hate cooking, but it doesn't give me pleasure, either. I cook when DH is away or is deep into a work project, and I often make a salad, chop vegetables or do other prep just to keep him company and be somewhat useful in the kitchen while he is cooking. But cooking is his creative outlet, and I am grateful for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will tell you exactly how I live my life op! I don’t cook but I do assemble. I have three kids and a husband who grills or smokes meat once a week so there’s one day. One day I shred a rotisserie chicken and open a can of beans and make quesadillas. One day I will cut up fruits and cheeses and make everyone bagels with cream cheese. One day we might do pasta and a bag of frozen broccoli. I use a lot of pre grilled chicken from Costco to make salads or paninis. I dunno it never seems to be an issue. No one is underweight or overweight etc etc. We don’t even really do take out much, maybe once or twice a month.

This is indeed exactly how I want to be as a cook. Just do what’s needed and not make a big deal about it.

[Anonymous]

My mother has MS and cannot use her hands. Prior to total disability, she was not raised to cook (her family had a full staff) and didn't learn on her own.

So my father has always cooked. He likes it. I learned from him, and on my own. My husband cooks too, but since he has ADHD, it's harder for him to get a meal to the table on time.

Cooking and washing up are the ONLY household tasks I don't mind doing! Everything else is horrible.