Should we switch to a live-in nanny?

[Anonymous]

So the nanny would be expected to do all of her cooking in your kitchen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lived like that as an Au Pair at 19. Would not do it now as a mature woman even though I live alone. You might find someone but it won't be easy.

We had a 21 yo live in nanny during covid who we basically treated like an au pair. All food in our kitchen was available to her and she could add reasonable requests to the shopping list. She'd feed herself with the kids for breakfast and lunch. She had dinner with the family (cooked by me or my DH) every night unless she was going out. She went home to stay at her parent's house on weekends by her choice.

It cut down on her covid exposure since she often only saw us during the week. She wasn't one to go out on weeknights, preferring to text and video chat with friends. If she'd been living at home she'd have contact with her parents and siblings, all of whom were working in person at different places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lived like that as an Au Pair at 19. Would not do it now as a mature woman even though I live alone. You might find someone but it won't be easy.

We had a 21 yo live in nanny during covid who we basically treated like an au pair. All food in our kitchen was available to her and she could add reasonable requests to the shopping list. She'd feed herself with the kids for breakfast and lunch. She had dinner with the family (cooked by me or my DH) every night unless she was going out. She went home to stay at her parent's house on weekends by her choice.

It cut down on her covid exposure since she often only saw us during the week. She wasn't one to go out on weeknights, preferring to text and video chat with friends. If she'd been living at home she'd have contact with her parents and siblings, all of whom were working in person at different places.

She was 21. What's your point?

[Anonymous]

Your living situation doesn’t sound appealing, OP.

We have a wonderful live-in nanny who lives in our guest house with her teen daughter. It’s a full little house (kitchen, laundry, separate gated entrance so we don’t see her coming or going and the guesthouse is in the pool fence so unless we’re swimming, the kids can’t even knock on her door). It’s worked for five years.

[Anonymous]

I’d look for a new nanny that lives closer and that has fewer concerns about covid exposure. It would be really tough finding a quality professional nanny that would be ok with that living situation. Given your lifestyle and the space available I think finding someone who is just more reliable is your best bet.

[Anonymous]

I would never live in a basement. Why don't you move to basement and see how you like living in the dark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Currently we have a live-out nanny and 1 child. We are expecting a second child and then about the time my maternity leave ends our nanny's contract ends. We like our nanny, she gets along great with our child and she had good judgment, but between Covid and the recent snow days, there have been a lot of days she hasn't been able to come to work (either due to being exposed to Covid through a family member or because she lives far away and it wasn't safe to drive in). That just isn't sustainable for our 2 working parent household. So I was thinking that switching to a live-in nanny would be better. I think it would be better because if nanny lived in there would be no days where she couldn't get to work and the likelihood that she has a covid exposure that is separate from our family would be lower. If it weren't for covid I probably wouldn't be considering this as husband and I are both introverts and don't really want another person in our space.

In terms of physical space, we have a single family home with a basement. There is a large bedroom and a separate bathroom (but not ensuite) that would be the nanny's. The main play space is also in the basement, along with our home gym, and an adult rec/tv room that my husband mostly uses to watch sports at night. I assume my husband would need to move his sports watching out of that space and we'd need to stop using that bathroom (only used occasionally now so not a big deal.) Clearly the nanny would be using the kitchen (no kitchen in basement) to cook meals and would be around, but what other things am I not thinking about?

Do live in nanny's tend to hang out in their rooms at night? What do folks see as the significant pros/cons of having a live in nanny? Just want to make sure I am thinking through everything before deciding one way or the other.

You’re not thinking that the living situation for a live-in nanny sounds bleak! You’ll never find a quality nanny to agree to a basement bedroom!

Talk to your current nanny about possibly staying over during forecasted storms as well as her current covid protocols. Changing nannies while bringing home a new baby is a terrible thing to do to a toddler. Covid is effecting everyone on the planet so roll with the disruptions in your work schedule.

[Anonymous]

Does your basement at least have a door to the outside as a separate entrance for the nanny?

The playroom attached to the nanny’s room is a big problem. And would you want to hang out in a basement bedroom every night and weekend?


I echo the above: find a way to make it work with your current nanny.

[Anonymous]

Everyone is dealing with covid, covid exposures, covid vaccine side-effects, and covid testing. And snow days are so few. It’s ridiculous to think you’re the only two-career couple dealing with these issues.

I don’t know about live-in nannies but I do know that it’s going to be hard enough on your child to deal with a new sibling without throwing in learning to trust a new nanny and missing his old nanny.

Make it work with your current nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is dealing with covid, covid exposures, covid vaccine side-effects, and covid testing. And snow days are so few. It’s ridiculous to think you’re the only two-career couple dealing with these issues.

I don’t know about live-in nannies but I do know that it’s going to be hard enough on your child to deal with a new sibling without throwing in learning to trust a new nanny and missing his old nanny.

Make it work with your current nanny.

+1. And you really don’t have a set up for a live-in.

[Anonymous]

That sounds like a nightmare. She needs her own kitchen at the least.

[Anonymous]

Our current nanny has already indicated she is unlikely to stay on post the end of this year. She has an ailing family member in another state and she and her husband are likely to move back there to look after ailing family member. Nothing I can do about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our current nanny has already indicated she is unlikely to stay on post the end of this year. She has an ailing family member in another state and she and her husband are likely to move back there to look after ailing family member. Nothing I can do about that.

That’s really unfortunate for your older child. Losing a nanny is a big deal to a little kid. Adding in the insecurity of a new baby and a new nanny is going to be so hard for him/her.

However you still do not have a decent set up for a live-in. Just make sure your new nanny lives closer. And covid won’t last forever. Everyone is going through upheavals due to the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

This doesn't sound like a "nightmare." I would accept a position like this if a mini fridge, coffeemaker and microwave was included in my space, with still being able to use the kitchen whenever I wanted. And of course a competitive hourly wage with OT, on the books, paid vacation, PTO, holidays off and set hours. I don't go out much at all, more of an introvert, so I could see this being appealing to some.

[Anonymous]

Would she have her own living room area with a TV?

I don’t think your home is really set up for this. Just ask the new nanny to stay over on predicted snow days, with extra pay.

You cannot control who your nanny sees and Covid exposure.