Should we switch to a live-in nanny?

[Anonymous]

Currently we have a live-out nanny and 1 child. We are expecting a second child and then about the time my maternity leave ends our nanny's contract ends. We like our nanny, she gets along great with our child and she had good judgment, but between Covid and the recent snow days, there have been a lot of days she hasn't been able to come to work (either due to being exposed to Covid through a family member or because she lives far away and it wasn't safe to drive in). That just isn't sustainable for our 2 working parent household. So I was thinking that switching to a live-in nanny would be better. I think it would be better because if nanny lived in there would be no days where she couldn't get to work and the likelihood that she has a covid exposure that is separate from our family would be lower. If it weren't for covid I probably wouldn't be considering this as husband and I are both introverts and don't really want another person in our space.

In terms of physical space, we have a single family home with a basement. There is a large bedroom and a separate bathroom (but not ensuite) that would be the nanny's. The main play space is also in the basement, along with our home gym, and an adult rec/tv room that my husband mostly uses to watch sports at night. I assume my husband would need to move his sports watching out of that space and we'd need to stop using that bathroom (only used occasionally now so not a big deal.) Clearly the nanny would be using the kitchen (no kitchen in basement) to cook meals and would be around, but what other things am I not thinking about?

Do live in nanny's tend to hang out in their rooms at night? What do folks see as the significant pros/cons of having a live in nanny? Just want to make sure I am thinking through everything before deciding one way or the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Currently we have a live-out nanny and 1 child. We are expecting a second child and then about the time my maternity leave ends our nanny's contract ends. We like our nanny, she gets along great with our child and she had good judgment, but between Covid and the recent snow days, there have been a lot of days she hasn't been able to come to work (either due to being exposed to Covid through a family member or because she lives far away and it wasn't safe to drive in). That just isn't sustainable for our 2 working parent household. So I was thinking that switching to a live-in nanny would be better. I think it would be better because if nanny lived in there would be no days where she couldn't get to work and the likelihood that she has a covid exposure that is separate from our family would be lower. If it weren't for covid I probably wouldn't be considering this as husband and I are both introverts and don't really want another person in our space.

In terms of physical space, we have a single family home with a basement. There is a large bedroom and a separate bathroom (but not ensuite) that would be the nanny's. The main play space is also in the basement, along with our home gym, and an adult rec/tv room that my husband mostly uses to watch sports at night. I assume my husband would need to move his sports watching out of that space and we'd need to stop using that bathroom (only used occasionally now so not a big deal.) Clearly the nanny would be using the kitchen (no kitchen in basement) to cook meals and would be around, but what other things am I not thinking about?

Do live in nanny's tend to hang out in their rooms at night? What do folks see as the significant pros/cons of having a live in nanny? Just want to make sure I am thinking through everything before deciding one way or the other.

I don't have a nanny but, how do the nannies get any time off if they are always there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Currently we have a live-out nanny and 1 child. We are expecting a second child and then about the time my maternity leave ends our nanny's contract ends. We like our nanny, she gets along great with our child and she had good judgment, but between Covid and the recent snow days, there have been a lot of days she hasn't been able to come to work (either due to being exposed to Covid through a family member or because she lives far away and it wasn't safe to drive in). That just isn't sustainable for our 2 working parent household. So I was thinking that switching to a live-in nanny would be better. I think it would be better because if nanny lived in there would be no days where she couldn't get to work and the likelihood that she has a covid exposure that is separate from our family would be lower. If it weren't for covid I probably wouldn't be considering this as husband and I are both introverts and don't really want another person in our space.

In terms of physical space, we have a single family home with a basement. There is a large bedroom and a separate bathroom (but not ensuite) that would be the nanny's. The main play space is also in the basement, along with our home gym, and an adult rec/tv room that my husband mostly uses to watch sports at night. I assume my husband would need to move his sports watching out of that space and we'd need to stop using that bathroom (only used occasionally now so not a big deal.) Clearly the nanny would be using the kitchen (no kitchen in basement) to cook meals and would be around, but what other things am I not thinking about?

Do live in nanny's tend to hang out in their rooms at night? What do folks see as the significant pros/cons of having a live in nanny? Just want to make sure I am thinking through everything before deciding one way or the other.

I don't have a nanny but, how do the nannies get any time off if they are always there?

They don't. The job creep is REAL.

In the OP's case I can already see a situation where nanny wants to rest but since the playroom is there the child will want to play or be with nanny. The nanny will say "oh, it's ok!", because she wants to be accommodating. The only real time she gets to herself will be when she's locked away in her room.

[Anonymous]

We had a live in nanny for years but we had an entire one bedroom apartment in our basement.

I think a live in nanny really needs her own kitchen.

If you just have a bedroom and a bath, get an au pair.

[Anonymous]

Same with home gym— and also, while COVID exposure may reduce, barring her from bringing people into your home or visiting her is unreasonable (unless mutually agreed upon).

[Anonymous]

I lived like that as an Au Pair at 19. Would not do it now as a mature woman even though I live alone. You might find someone but it won't be easy.

[Anonymous]

Does your basement have legal egress?

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

OP, yes, the basement has legal egress. It’s a big bedroom like 20 by 20. The gym is in a separate room with a door.

The nanny would still have set hours and be paid overtime.

Is it really the case that every live in nanny has a separate kitchen?

An au pair wouldn’t really work because I don’t want to be responsible for a young adult. I just need a professional nanny who isn’t out frequently for Covid and snow days.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Also older child is preschool aged and goes to bed before 8pm. Work hours would likely be 8:30am to 6:30pm so it would only be max 90 minutes in the evening where the playroom overlap would be an issue and most of that time would be take up by dinner, bath, bedtime. Weekends could be more challenging I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Also older child is preschool aged and goes to bed before 8pm. Work hours would likely be 8:30am to 6:30pm so it would only be max 90 minutes in the evening where the playroom overlap would be an issue and most of that time would be take up by dinner, bath, bedtime. Weekends could be more challenging I guess.

That's a long time and adds up since it would be her living space. Can you move the playroom somewhere else? I think you have very good intentions but realistically, this situation would be challenging. As an introvert, I think you can understand the importance of needing time to yourself to recharge and having personal space (that's more than just a bedroom).

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you’re looking at this right. The nanny would still have the same potential contact w/ family members - she will still keep her normal life outside of work hours. As far as the playroom, I assume your older child will slowly get a later bedtime.
Have you thought about paying your nanny extra to sleep over when bad weather is expected? We used to do that bc rarely is bad weather a surprise here. We had it as part of our nanny contract and made it clear before hiring anyone. We paid $100/night to sleep over when it was bad weather. Otherwise her hours didn’t change. Our nanny was happy bc she wouldn’t have been our socializing or anything in a storm so was happy to make a few hundred extra a couple of weeks/year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Also older child is preschool aged and goes to bed before 8pm. Work hours would likely be 8:30am to 6:30pm so it would only be max 90 minutes in the evening where the playroom overlap would be an issue and most of that time would be take up by dinner, bath, bedtime. Weekends could be more challenging I guess.

That's a long time and adds up since it would be her living space. Can you move the playroom somewhere else? I think you have very good intentions but realistically, this situation would be challenging. As an introvert, I think you can understand the importance of needing time to yourself to recharge and having personal space (that's more than just a bedroom).

The playroom is a separate space. It has a door. Its just on the same level as the nanny's bedroom/ bathroom / living space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you’re looking at this right. The nanny would still have the same potential contact w/ family members - she will still keep her normal life outside of work hours. As far as the playroom, I assume your older child will slowly get a later bedtime.
Have you thought about paying your nanny extra to sleep over when bad weather is expected? We used to do that bc rarely is bad weather a surprise here. We had it as part of our nanny contract and made it clear before hiring anyone. We paid $100/night to sleep over when it was bad weather. Otherwise her hours didn’t change. Our nanny was happy bc she wouldn’t have been our socializing or anything in a storm so was happy to make a few hundred extra a couple of weeks/year.

That's a good suggestion I hadn't considered. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Why would an older professional nanny want to live in your basement without her own kitchen?