My mom just had her visa denied... I need to vent! Long post warning...

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:My family has been through nearly the exact scenario. I wrote several messages about our experience in the Cameroon thread.

It is really discouraging to go through this sort of thing and I am very sorry for you. The heartlessness that can be shown by consular officials really has to be experienced to be believed. These people are the worst possible representatives of our country. The visa process is so unfair and arbitrary. I really can't imagine why consular officers seem to have such an universal fear of old women.

Jeff, please don't say that consular officers are the worst representatives of our country. There are good and bad ones.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:Jeff, please don't say that consular officers are the worst representatives of our country. There are good and bad ones.

I was referring specifically to the consular officers with whom the original poster's mother and my mother-in-law dealt. Gosh, is there a consular officers anti-defamation league here or something?

[Anonymous]

OP, can you have your baby in your home country? Since you are taking a break from your studies anyway, this might make sense.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a consular office or even a current State Dept employee, but I do know from experience that the leeway of the average consular official is not all that wide. They have to evaluate specific criteria and if they have credible reason to believe that the applicant might overstay the visa, they cannot grant it. I ran across a lot of ridiculous scenarios, of truly foolish and detrimental paranoia, but unfortuntely there are far more cases where consular officials simply follow the very specific visa regulations - which are subject to US law - and have to turn down sympathetic individuals whose intent is perfectly innocent. I'm not justifying anyone's rudeness, but it may be a case where even the kindest, most generous consular official is constrained by the legal requirements.

OP, in addition to all the advice provided by PPs, you might try contacting the country desk at State and getting a referral for someone in the Consular bureau who can advise you on what if any options are available for your mother. And if worst comes to worst, there are lots of us who can advise you on managing the uncertainties of going into labor without a close family member nearby - unfortunately there are lots of us who have to rely on other networks of support at that crucial moment.

BTW I haven't read the Cameroon thread... can anyone post a link?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you have your baby in your home country? Since you are taking a break from your studies anyway, this might make sense.

She should have the baby in the US so the baby will be a US citizen.

[Anonymous]

But, maybe being a citizen of her home country is even better than being a US citizen?

[Anonymous]

Definitely write to both your Senators and your Congressman. Your child will be a citizen. I work for DHS and it is shocking how quickly a call from staffers can move things along! Call if you can or even visit in person and get citizens/friends to also write on your behalf!

[Anonymous]

OP back. I don't have enough words to thank you all for the ideas and the support.
I wish it was easy as just go home have the baby and come back but I'm a few weeks from delivery and DH is not from the same country as me so to see each other we'll have to keep applying for visas to each other countries and most likely US embassy would never let me back with a young infant. I can't imagine raising my baby away from dad!
(by the way I was stuck in immigration once coming to US after vacation at home and DH passed but I didn't. School sent the wrong paperwork and I got stuck. DH in one side of the door and me on the other. It was devastating! It took me 15 days to fix it and a lot of money. Need to add that I lost one semester in school because of it.)
Anyway, we're already working on some of the suggestion you gave us and let's hope for the best.
Talking to my mom and grandma over the phone I learned they had what we call today PPD. They had no idea what it was and research has shown that it might be genetic. I'll see if my doc can write a letter explaining that it is better if I have my mom and I'm not alone while DH travels.
DH's co-worker lost his baby because the wife dropped the baby from the balcony. She had PPP and was not diagnosed. Her husband was traveling for work at the time. This things scare me so much. I hope we can work it out.
My mom is still very sad and ashamed of the humiliation (it was her first time trying a visa) so while we work from here I'll give her time to regroup.
Once again I thank you all for your kind words and ideas. May God give it back to you in blessings for your families.

[Anonymous]

Just some advice--they aren't necessarily looking at whether your mom is interested in coming here to work. It's more likely that they are looking at whether she has sufficient ties to her home country to ensure she will not overstay her visa. There's a legal assumption that every person coming to the US will overstay--your mom has the burden to show the consular agent that she won't.

So, she has (something) in the home country guaranteeing her return--financial obligations, a job, family responsibilities? Whatever. On the other side, she has a daughter and soon-to-be born grandchild in the US. She needs to make a case that whatever responsibilities she has at home are greater than what's in the US.

[Anonymous]

OP, listen to 22:46. That's the best advice you've been given to date on this thread. The challenge for your mom is NOT to prove how much you need her, but to demonstrate that she has compelling reasons to return home. This is why invoking the possibility of PPD and a coworker's wife who committed infanticide as a result of post-partum psychosis may do you more harm than good (that'a guess on my part, btw, not an informed assessment.)

Again, I'm guessing here but your pregnancy may be part of hte reason why it is so difficult for your mom to get a visa - once you have a child and go back to school, there may be more incentive for your mother to stay, and since your child will be a US citizen, there will be other routes available for you and your mother to petition for citizenship as well. Check with the experts (State Dept and/or an immigration lawyer) but I think your best case is one that persuades the officials that this is not a likely prospect.

Calling the Hill is always nice, but if neither you nor your husband are citizens then it's a little less likely that they will get engaged on your behalf.

[Anonymous]

22:46 is right on the money.

And, in terms of the attitude/behavior of consular officers and other immigration officials, please realize that there is so much immigration fraud. So. MUCH. Fraud. It makes people jaded, and the assumption becomes that everyone who applies for a visa or other benefits is lying until proven otherwise. I'm not saying that attitude is the right one, but if you go into the process knowing that -- and putting together as much objective documentation about your mother's intent to return to her country prior to the expiration of her visa -- it might make it emotionally a little easier.

[Anonymous]

OP back again. I really appreciate the advice. The thing is that my mom still has a job, a son to raise, a husband to care for. Back home is not OK to leave your family behind.
She has health treatments to go back to.
What really upset me is that they didn't even give her time to make her case and he laughed on her face! He made her CRY!
Oh well, let me focus on what we can do now to try to fix it.
Once again thank you for such valuable advice.

[Anonymous]

The fraud does make consular officers very careful. Hard as it may be to believe, there have been cases where people who have been State Department employees themselves have had in-laws whose visas were refused. The law is set up to force the consular officer to assume the person is trying to immigrate.

[Anonymous]

22:46 is right. My MIL was denied a visa because the consular officer saw that DH was not a US citizen, only a permanent resident, and told her within 30 seconds of the 'interview' that she was denied because of his legal status in the US. Things you should look for to prove that your mom is likely to return to her home country:

- home ownership papers
- car title
- bank account info - the more $ she has/makes in her country the more likey she is to return
- other obligations back home - letter from her job, proof of family responsibilites, proof of necessary medical treatment in home country

You might have a better chance of getting the visa if you say her intent is just to visit, verses a specific purpose. Visiting might imply less likelihood of overstaying the visa rather than having to provide care for someone. You want to show how necessary her presence is in her home country, and how unnecessary her presense is in the US. I know, it totally seems backwards, but you need to give good reason that your mom will return in X number of days.

Try saying/writing that the purpose is to "Visit my daughter, son in law and soon-to-be born grandson" verses "Visiting my daughter to take her of her and my first born grandson"
Indicate that the visit has a specific lenght: "I will visist between 'so and so dates' because it will be necessary for me to return to my full time job as _____ (see attached letter from employer)"

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. I don't have enough words to thank you all for the ideas and the support.
I wish it was easy as just go home have the baby and come back but I'm a few weeks from delivery and DH is not from the same country as me so to see each other we'll have to keep applying for visas to each other countries and most likely US embassy would never let me back with a young infant. I can't imagine raising my baby away from dad!
(by the way I was stuck in immigration once coming to US after vacation at home and DH passed but I didn't. School sent the wrong paperwork and I got stuck. DH in one side of the door and me on the other. It was devastating! It took me 15 days to fix it and a lot of money. Need to add that I lost one semester in school because of it.)
Anyway, we're already working on some of the suggestion you gave us and let's hope for the best.
Talking to my mom and grandma over the phone I learned they had what we call today PPD. They had no idea what it was and research has shown that it might be genetic. I'll see if my doc can write a letter explaining that it is better if I have my mom and I'm not alone while DH travels.
DH's co-worker lost his baby because the wife dropped the baby from the balcony. She had PPP and was not diagnosed. Her husband was traveling for work at the time. This things scare me so much. I hope we can work it out.
My mom is still very sad and ashamed of the humiliation (it was her first time trying a visa) so while we work from here I'll give her time to regroup.
Once again I thank you all for your kind words and ideas. May God give it back to you in blessings for your families.

wait-if your brother is in his twenties and in grad school I doubt he counts as a child to raise. OP and her DH are not citizens of the US. Child born here will be so....