S/O Are your parents close with your in-laws at all?

[Anonymous]

No, but obviously they're courteous to one another. They're all nice people.

[Anonymous]

No. They live 12 hours apart and have seen each other maybe 12 times.

[Anonymous]

My ILs have died but before that my parents only met them at my wedding and then I think once my FIL visited us while my parents were here. My parents live in CA while ILs are a 3-hr drive away but rarely would come to see us.

[Anonymous]

My parents and ILs can’t stand each other. They haven’t interacted in over a decade and never will. They live less than an hour away from each other and can’t be civil to see DCs at the same time. DCs are getting old enough that they are asking why both sets of grandparents don’t come over at the same time.

I thought I was the only person out there with parents and ILs who didn’t get along.

[Anonymous]

No. They live on opposite coasts and in the almost 21 years I’ve known my husband the two sides have met 6 times.

My brother’s ILs all live near my parents, and while not “close” per se as there is a major language barrier, they are all invited and included in each other’s holidays, birthdays, birthdays of my brother’s nieces and nephews on both sides, etc. my parents have spent way more time in the 5 years my brother has known his wife with her side of the family than they have with my ILs in 21 years.

[Anonymous]

Only met at the wedding. They're so different, it would be an intense culture clash. The side with money and the space to host everyone for Christmas is pretty judgemental and never would extend an invitation. The side without money is open and generous and "the more the merrier" but logistically not possible to host more bodies in a small apartment.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My parents love DH's parents and vice versa. DH's parents are local to us, so when my parents visit, we always get together in a huge group. My parents also tend to host huge holiday meals and they invite DH's parents and siblings (and their dogs), my sister's inlaws, my cousins' inlaws ... it's amazing. They are closest with my inlaws but get along well with sister's inlaws too. And my aunt and uncle live near my parents and they are close with their kids' inlaws as well and so they will frequently have big dinners with those folks and my parents. At Thanksgiving there were 28 people and of those only 6 were young children -- the rest were family/inlaws.

And my parents aren't even social people. When I got married they had a hard time scraping up more than 4 friends of their own they wanted to attend the wedding, and all of them were work colleagues. Having their kids and nieces get married has really expanded their social circle, haha.

It no doubt helps that everyone is same ethnic background, religion, and politics. Just a bunch of liberal Jews from the New York/ New Jersey / Philadelphia area.

[Anonymous]

Mine were. My mom has flown to visit my MIL with us. All are very nice people and I like it. They met the weekend we got married and all got along, so that’s how it started. They are from different cultures, but that hasn’t been a problem either.

[Anonymous]

Friendly. Will call each other to say happy holidays and get along nicely when together. Occasionally invite for a holiday but no expectation or commitment.

[Anonymous]

No. A subset of them interacts once a year around my sons birthday. They are all polite and courteous to each other but not close.

[Anonymous]

My parents are friends with my SIL parents. They don’t live near each other but keep in touch on the phone and visit for a meal when in town. They are not close with My in laws and I don’t blame them lol. I love my SIL parents too.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. They tried being somewhat social for the first few years of our marriage. Then the first grandchild was born and each grandma acted really immature and competitive, causing lots of drama. They never had an argument but a falling out and haven’t spoken in over 12 years. It’s great! They would be nice if they ever ran into each other in public. It helps now that one side moved across the country so they have no reason to see each other and can visit at different times.

[Anonymous]

No, and it's a real bummer because my parents are very close with my sister's in-laws and my brother's in-laws. Early on they tried reaching out to my in-laws, my dad even asked them out to dinner when he was in their town on business once, but they've been very cold. My parents are the sweetest and so outgoing and get along with everyone, and frankly, I think my MIL is being a snob and looking down on my mom which is just awful. My MIL grew up in this country and has a phD, my parents are immigrants and my mom didn't go to college, but is very smart.

[Anonymous]

They were polite at first. At some point the ILs figured out that my parents have more money than they do and it's been strained ever since. They are ice cold to my parents and my mother overreacts and ends up in tears on the back porch. So we have to do separate events now. I want my husband to say something to his rude parents but he says he can't make them be friendly and my parents shouldn't take it personally. It's hard because they never say anything offensive so there's nothing to call them out over.

[Anonymous]

Not close (live far away from each other) but certainly enjoy each other’s company, ask about each other, etc. When we are all together, it’s an enjoyable time.